Saturday, 21 June 2025

Strange voices are saying (What did they say?) Things I can't understand...

It's Midsummer, Summer Solstice, the Longest Day, St John’s Day, St. Hans Day, Fors Fortuna, Litha, Alban Hefin, Enyovden, Ukon juhla - whatever you call it, it's a milestone!

In the UK, of course, all the pseudo-Druids, Neo-Pagans, hippies and other assorted weirdos head for Stonehenge to celebrate. We'll stay at home, and will probably clink a glass in the garden or something.

Meanwhile, in Sweden...

From the Bilingual by Music website:

Midsummer's Day is one of the most important holidays of the year in Sweden, and probably the most uniquely Swedish in the way it is celebrated.

Raising and dancing around a midsommarstång pole is an activity that attracts families and many others. Before the maypole is raised, greens and flowers are collected and used to cover the entire pole. People dancing around the pole listen to traditional music and sing songs associated with the holiday. Some wear traditional folk costumes or crowns made of wild springs and wildflowers on their heads.

Music plays a big part at the Midsummer celebrations. The most famous song sung when dancing around the maypole is Små grodorna [which in English is “Little frogs”]:

The melody originates from a military march from the French revolution La Chanson de l’Oignon (“The onion song”), with the chorus “Au pas, camarade, au pas camarade / au pas, au pas, au pas!” (“In step, comrade”). The enemies of the French at the time, the British, changed the text with condescending irony to “Au pas, grenouilles!” (“In step, little frogs”).

Små grodorna in Swedish:

Små grodorna, små grodorna är lustiga att se.
Små grodorna, små grodorna är lustiga att se.
Ej öron, ej öron, ej svansar hava de.
Ej öron, ej öron, ej svansar hava de.
Kou ack ack ack, kou ack ack ack,
kou ack ack ack ack kaa.
Kou ack ack ack, kou ack ack ack,
kou ack ack ack ack kaa.


English version (direct translation):

The little frogs, the little frogs are funny to observe.
The little frogs, the little frogs are funny to observe.
No ears, no ears, no tails do they possess.
No ears, no ears, no tails do they possess.
Kou ack ack ack, kou ack ack ack,
kou ack ack ack ack kaa.
Kou ack ack ack, kou ack ack ack,
kou ack ack ack ack kaa.

How bizarre.

We have a far better way to mark the occasion (and the ongoing heatwave!) - with Bananarama!

However one chooses to celebrate, it is worth doing - for after today, the nights start drawing in once more..!

Make the most of it, dear reader.


[Footnote: If some of this seems familiar - yes, I did post about this over at the Dolores Delargo Museum of Camp in 2021]

Friday, 20 June 2025

Push it!


Now, that's what I call a party! [The send-off for our beloved Lady Shaston] - which made the news here and here, among others

After an unusual, but still taxing, week - three out of five days were taken up by all-day training, which means I've been stuck in our living-room doing work-related stuff for far more time than I would like [I'm not a "work-from-home sort of person"; I never did so before the pandemic lockdowns, and I have largely avoided doing ever since] - the weekend is looming. And it's forecast to be the hottest so far this year!

We need to get ourselves in the party mood, dear reader - and what better way than with a dance classic, from another genius who has recently departed for Fabulon, DJ/producer/singer John Reid? If the name is unfamiliar, his band's biggest hit certainly won't be...

Thank Disco It's Friday!

That song is (scarily) thirty years old - and still no-one has a clue what he's singing.

Have a great weekend, dear reader! Wear sunscreen.

Thursday, 19 June 2025

Every trick in the book


Our Rosa "Veilchenblau" is a stunner! [click to embiggen]

Day #3 of my training...

...but at least it's the last one!

Meanwhile, when I read that Mr Lou Christie had departed, my immediate thought was - who? So I went off to investigate him while on lunch break.

Being a huge fan of the weird and wonderful, I am hugely pleased that I did..!

Utterly bizarre - why is he singing in a scrapyard? In the middle of winter? And what does he have stuffed in those jeans? Answers on a postcard, please.

Right, onward and upward...

Wednesday, 18 June 2025

Not a solar buttfuck

The nation’s media has settled on ‘sun nuke’ as the phrase of choice to describe the pleasant weather approaching this week.

Having found ‘warm’ and ‘sunny’ inadequate to describe typical summery conditions, every outlet is to employ a phrase evoking thermonuclear armageddon to remind the public to wear shorts.

Sun editor Stephen Malley said: “We’ve found a meteorologist prepared to say it for £175. His peers will despise him until the day he dies.

“Even ‘scorcher’ doesn’t do justice to the magnitude of heatwave that’s coming, which is far less than that big one the other year. Plus we get to use a big picture of a mushroom cloud, which is fun and not misleading.

“This isn’t a hyperbolic phrase to drive sales. The sun is actually a load of nuclear explosions, apparently, so we also brainstormed ‘solar buttfuck’ and ‘Ra’s revenge’. We have impeccable journalistic standards to meet.

“Don’t get complacent. After, we’re due to be hit by a torrential rain dildo, category point two five wind genocides and a festive New Ice Age.”

Bill McKay of Gateshead said: “Sunblock cannot prevent the awesome powers of a nuke. So I’m not putting any on.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

Yes, it is indeed hot here in London - and I am trapped in here on day #2 of training. Sigh.

Tuesday, 17 June 2025

Harder, Faster, Stronger

I am on day #1 of three days of training for work. Groo!

To help me through the tedium, here's a little something that I have loved for years:

Wish me luck!

Monday, 16 June 2025

Caramba, Carambita!

Oh, yes, dear reader, it is time to get up for work again - and I am not in the mood for this...

Hey ho. It pays the bills.

One of our late, great(est) Patron Saints the divine Raffaella Carrà would have celebrated her birthday this week, so I think it only polite to hand over the "duty" to cheer us all up on this Tacky Music Monday to her and her safety gays..!

Bella, bella, Raffaella!

Raffaella Maria Roberta Pelloni (aka Raffaella Carrà, 18th June 1943 - 5th July 2021)

Have a good week, folks.

Sunday, 15 June 2025

Never coming home


Happy National Beer Day!

Stil coming down to earth after the fantabulosa send-off on Friday night for The Shaston Arms/Lady Shaston [more on that later, no doubt - when anyone gets around to posting any photos!] (and an evening on the gin and cider with Madam Arcati's sister last night), today has been very, very quiet indeed.

Let's let our simply faboo "house band" take the strain, shall we? This one is one hell of a demonstration of Miss Effie Passero's vocal talents...

I am in awe.

For anyone (that includes me) who is unfamiliar with the original - check here for the (surprisingly tear-jerking) video.

Saturday, 14 June 2025

Arise...

...Sir David "Goldenballs" Beckham!

I've "arisen".

The King's Birthday Honours List 2025.

Friday, 13 June 2025

End of an Era

It is the end of another tedious week - and for that we are very grateful!

It is ineveitably time for a party - and, indeed, we have one to attend tonight. However, it's a bit of a poignant one...

Way back in the mists of time, when Madam Arcati and I first arrived in London [26 years ago], our social orbit was limited, mainly revolving around West London where we lived at the time, and if we did go "into town", our pub of choice was the Admiral Duncan (before the bomb!). However, fates collided soon afterwards. One of the bar manager [the much-missed] Sinders' friends was a tall, striking, rather OTT blonde lady, who ran a pub in Soho. That was Sally. One of the Madam's colleagues while working at the Cafe Rouge restaurant chain who became a close friend had recently left the company to manage an outlet of another chain restaurant in Soho. That was Lou. And lo and behold, the two premises were opposite each other, and so a new social circle was created!

The pub was The Shaston Arms, scene of many a night of debauchery (of the late-night-drinking "lock-in" variety), many birthday parties - and of course, the "home turf" of our Pride Day breakfast meet-ups, to finalise our outfits and charge our system with bacon butties and bubbly before the madness of the day kicks off!

Just last November we celebrated the 25th anniversary of the pub's opening (and of Our Sal being its landlady), when the brewery Hall & Woodhouse even renamed it The Lady Shaston in her honour!

Come 2025, and Sal broke to us at the Eurovision party some very bad news indeed. The landowner of the whole area in which The Shaston is located is Shaftesbury Estates. For some reason only known to the gnomes who run that operation, they have decided they want to change the whole area - and served notice on Hall & Woodhouse to vacate!! So The Lady Shaston is no more, and closes this month.

The party tonight is its farewell.

Will we laugh? Will we cry? We will certainly say...

...CHEERS! And thanks for all the memories!


Meanwhile...

...After all that sombre news, and bearing in mind today also happens to be one to avoid if you happen to be paraskevidekatriaphobic, here's something joyful to cheer us all up:


I doubt Pharrell and Daft Punk were even born when this film was made...

Thank Disco It's Friday [the Thirteenth]!

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, 12 June 2025

Of cheese, gay landmarks, butler baiting, cheap shops, and turning granny into sealife


RIP, Brian Wilson (far left), the genius behind The Beach Boys.

Another snippets post today, dear reader...

  • Cheese wars news: There's a battle-royal going on in Cambridgeshire, where the village of Stilton is fighting for the right [that for some bizarre reason under protected designation of origin rules is denied it] to produce the famous blue cheese that bears its name!
  • Feliz Dia dos Namorados! In Brazil, 12th June is Valentine's Day, apparently...

  • Historic gay venue news: A fave venue of ours in times past, the venerable gay pub the Black Cap has issued an update on its F*book page - although there were some promises made that its new owners, having won a long-fought battle against redevelopment, were to reopen the Cap in time for last Xmas, structural problems were uncovered that led to a major delay, but they're confident that the place will be reopening its doors by the end of 2025! Hoorah!
  • In death do us - erm - reef? A newly-founded organisation has an innovative offer for grieving families - why not have your loved one’s ashes made into a reef and anchored to the British seabed to grow coral? I imagine the funeral would be a bit wet.
  • Umbrella Jousting, Cucumber Sandwich Discus or Hop, Skip and G&T, anyone? Great news! The legendary Chap Olympiad is back! Expect jolly japes and merriment, as suitably vintage-clad participants compete in such marvellous events as Ironing Board Surfing, Moustache Wrestling, Tea Pursuit, Riding Crop Rumpus, Tie Knotting, Butler Baiting and Not Playing Tennis. "There is a dress code, of course - of elegant finery, military wear, formal wear, dandy wear. No sportswear except cricket whites and absolutely no denim. Please be advised that during the Games themselves, anyone testing negative for alcohol content in the bloodstream will be disqualified, and sent to the emergency gin tent for urgent retonification." Right up our street, methinks.
  • And finally - news that jokes are made of: Tacky budget shopping chain Poundland has been saved from bankruptcy and sold - for a pound! It's still a shit shop, regardless.
  • Oh, and it is the lovely Robyn's birthday today:

[An all-time favourite choon - that I have never featured on this blog before! How?]

And the weather? Warm, but all over the shop. Cloudy, sunny, showery, windy, muggy - we've had it all in one day today!

Wednesday, 11 June 2025

Bye Bye, "Bi"!

A woman has vowed to be a good ally by being bisexual for the entirety of Pride month.

The global celebration of gay, lesbian, transgender and queer lives has prompted Lauren Hewitt, aged 23, to not let her heterosexuality get in the way of joining in.

She said: “Pride Month is the only time of year that I feel free and uninhibited enough to be the person I’ve always wanted to be: a straight woman, but more interesting.

“Despite having a boyfriend and a sexual history consisting exclusively of men, I fully identify with the vibe. I might not be completely bisexual, but I am half-bisexual in that I sleep with one of the two sexes.

“It’s just for the month. After that I’ve no intention to continue this level of engagement with LGBTQ+ culture, following in the footsteps of allies like Marks & Spencer and BrewDog.

“Ladies, watch out. No James, this does not mean you’re getting a threesome.”


A Stonewall spokesman asked about Lauren’s claimed bisexuality said: “We don’t really care. This type of thing mostly bothers other straight people.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

Tuesday, 10 June 2025

I'm gonna add some bottom

And so farewell then, Mr Sly Stone, who has ascended the underlit-dancefloor-style stairway and departed for Fabulon to join that great, glittering funk band in the sky...

In the annals of "most influential musicians ever", Mr Stone was at the pinnacle. For where, without him and his "Family", would the whole genre that became known as Disco be? Would there have been a Rick James? Or Prince? James Brown is often credited with creating "Funk" (with Bootsy Collins by his side) - but as pop culture historian Jason Ankeny once said: "James Brown may have invented funk, but Sly Stone perfected it."

Suffice to say, he left one hell of a legacy...

[I always loved this song, but only knew the divinely decadent cover version by the uber-cool Ronny - hear her version and read more about the lady here - long before I found out that it was Sly's song...]

All we need is a drummer
For people who only need a beat, yeah

I'm gonna add a little guitar
And make it easy to move your feet

I'm gonna add some bottom
So that the dancers just won't hide

You might like to hear my organ
I said ‘Ride, Sally, ride’

RIP, Sly Stone (born Sylvester Stewart, 15th March 1943 – 9th June 2025)!

Monday, 9 June 2025

My hair, my teeth, my boobs, my nose

Yup. Monday again. It comes around too soon..!

Hey ho - on this Tacky Music Monday, I have a faboo new discovery to cheer us up - how about none other than "Baywatch Babe" Pammy's take on "Roxie Hart"?!

That'll do nicely...

The name on everybody's
lips is gonna be... Roxie
The lady raking in the
chips is gonna be... Roxie.
I'm gonna be a celebrity,
That means somebody everyone knows
They're gonna recognise my eyes,
My hair, my teeth, my boobs, my nose.

From just some dumb mechanic's
wife I'm gonna be... Roxie
Who says that murder's not an art.
And who in case she doesn't hang,
Can say she started with a bang.

Roxie Hart.

Boys...

They're gonna wait outside
in lines to get to see...
Roxie
Think of those autographs
I'll sign, "Good luck to ya!"
Roxie
And I'll appear in a lavaleir that
goes all the way down to my waist,
Here a ring, there a ring
every where a ring a ling
But always in the best of taste.

Mmmm, I'm a star...
And the audience loves me,
And I love them.
And they love me for lovin' them
And I love them for lovin' me
And we love each other
And thats 'cause none of us got
enough love in our childhoods
And that's showbiz...
Kid

She's givin' up her humdrum life
I'm gonna be, sing it!
Roxie
She made a scandal and a start
And Sophie Tucker'll shit I know
To see her name get billed below
Roxie Hart!

Have a good week, dear reader.

Sunday, 8 June 2025

A Tati Party

After yesterday's washout, I managed to get out into the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers (and even enjoyed some spells of sunshine!) to get more pottering bits and pieces done. With about 300 plants in pots, there's always something that needs some attention...

Time, methinks for a light musical interlude, courtesy once more of the geniuses at Soft Tempo Lounge:

Ah, that's better.

[Music: Syd Dale - Brass But Lightly; Original Film: Jacques Tati's Playtime (1968)]

Saturday, 7 June 2025

Friday, 6 June 2025

You keep on giving me the hold up

It may be miserable weather out there, and the forecast for this weekend is even worse, but hey! It's still the end of another tiresome week - and that alone deserves a party!

I've always adored the archetypal "party animals" Basement Jaxx, but I have to admit I have never seen this marvellous video in my life. Enjoy - and Thank Disco "Big Beat House" It's Friday!

I feel like a curry now...

Have a good weekend, dear reader! Take a brolly.

Thursday, 5 June 2025

Of beligerent grannies, The Doctor, tiaras, Diana, gay pioneers and "ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah"


Another peek up my back passage, with new plant shelving centre-stage

It's another snippets post, dear reader:

  • Jewellery news: Nancy Astor's gorgeous turquoise and diamond Art Deco tiara [above] has sold at auction in London for the princely sum of £889,400! I wanted to put a bid in, but it probably would have been too small anyway...
  • People's Princess news: Speaking of auctions - a collection of frocks, accessories and memorabilia of the late Princess Diana are being auctioned in a few weeks' time. Maybe this time, I'll be lucky? [I have my eye on that ostrich-feather fan!]
  • A gay pioneer departs: RIP, gay author and memoirist Edmund White, whose ground-breaking A Boy's Own Story was essential reading for me and a whole generation of gay men when I came out in the 1980s - and remains a classic of its genre today. Read a selection of tributes from authors (and others) who he influenced.
  • And finally: It's the marvellously eccentric Miss Laurie Anderson's birthday today! What better excuse to play this bizarre number (a favourite of mine)? All together, now...

And the weather? Pissing down and miserable. "Flaming June", my arse.

Wednesday, 4 June 2025

Sinitta at Glastonbury?!

Lady Gaga and Pulp are both rumoured to be performing surprise Glastonbury sets. But the anguish of the audience if these artists strode onstage instead would be a joy:

Celine Dion

What Glastonbury audience wouldn’t want to see this Vegas legend belt out My Heart Will Go On? You came to see Kneecap and Charli XCX? Tough shit, you’re getting an hour of overwrought ballads at top volume which will inevitably remind you of Titanic, the disaster which a wet Glastonbury resembles.

Chris de Burgh

Oh, the confusion on thousands of faces as Chris launches Into Lady in Red. Is this ironic? Has my mum arrived to pick me up? The selection of mid-tempo ballads will grind on until the big finish of A Spaceman Came Travelling, about an alien bringing a message of peace at the birth of Jesus. Perfect for Glasto because you’d need to be on drugs.

Morrissey

It’s time for rehabilitation after all that right-wing business, and where better to begin? A Trump-style perspex box to deflect the bottles of piss, and a big red ‘STOP NOW’ sign for when he starts to express his racist views, and it’s a career relaunch! Until he says the racist things regardless.

Brian May

Not Queen, who presumably have been asked. Brian’s solo stuff, beginning with Driven by You, written for a Ford advert in 1991, and the iconic theme to Star Fleet. And when he does some Queen stuff, the whole of Worthy Farm will be rocking out to ‘Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin’ world go round!’ Or just standing there awkwardly. It’s a toss-up.

Kanye West

Played before, a decade ago, but Ye’s changed since then. Notably he’s become a swastika T-shirt selling Nazi who stalks his ex-wife and forces his current wife to walk around nude. Performing new track Heil Hitler would have the crowds battering the fence down like in the 90s, but this time from the inside to escape.

Sky

The prog rock outfit that included legendary classical guitarist John Williams and Curved Air’s Francis Monkman were terminally uncool even in the 70s. So it would be absolutely joyous to watch hip young Glastonbury audiences enduring rock versions of Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor. Not so ‘rizz’ now, are you, young persons?

Whitesnake

Surprise sets are meant to be surprising, and you don’t get much more unexpected than 80s hair rockers Whitesnake who never understood why Spinal Tap was meant to be funny. Declared to be a success after the event by Emily Eavis because it directly precipitates a sales spike for beanburgers.

Sinitta

Cheesy retro acts are looked on kindly at chilled-out Glastonbury, but Stock, Aitken and Waterman product Sinitta? So Machowas mechanical electro-pop at its worst, and horribly dated now. It’s unlikely attendees would warm to lyrics like ‘I’m tired of taking the lead, I want a man who will dominate me’ unless Sabrina Carpenter sings them.

The Daily Mash

Of course.

Tuesday, 3 June 2025

Come alive!

You know you're getting old when you discover...

...that the wonderful Miss Suzi Quatro is - gulp - 75 years old today!

The "mother of all pop-rock chicks", she may well be younger than Debbie Harry, Patti Smith, Kim Carnes, Bette Midler and Stevie Nicks, but she had massive #1 hits many years before any of 'em...

Her first chart-topper here in the UK was in June 1973:

I can only imagine the impact this powerful, no-holds-barred leather-clad pixie with the big voice had on such budding artistes as Joan Jett or Chrissie Hynde - even Alison Goldfrapp and KT Tunstall cite her as an influence [she collaborated with the latter on a recent album].

Arriving as she did in the midst of that maddest of all musical "cults", Glam Rock, she obviously became eternally associated with the genre - despite never once being seen with anything resembling the layers of slap that The Sweet or Wizzard et al wore, and evidently having nothing in the slightest bit glittery in her "Biker's Moll" wardrobe.

Nevertheless, she was in the "stable" of artists who were launched into the British consciousness by the avowed maestros of that early '70s zeitgeist, Messrs Chinn and Chapman (who also wrote hits for the aforementioned Sweet, as well as Mud, Smokie, The Arrows and Racey) and Mickie Most, and thus her name would be forever listed alongside those of other top "Glam" stars like Slade, Alvin Stardust, Gary Glitter and Marc Bolan...

...but she was the only girl - and had more balls than (just about) all her compatriots! She also just happened to sell over 50 million records worldwide. Here are a couple more of her memorable hits of the era:

...and my fave:

Glam Rock faded as quickly as it had arrived, in a shower of discarded sequins, but unlike some of her unfortunate compatriots Miss Quatro never really went away. She continued to have chart success well into the Punk era, carved a new "icon" status as "Leather Tuscadero" in Happy Days, went on to take myriad cameo roles on telly in her adopted homeland of the UK - including in Minder and AbFab, and even Midsomer Murders - and has presented some rather good music shows on BBC Radio 2...

...and in 2026, she's back on tour across the UK! You can't keep a great rocker down.

Many happy returns, Susan Kay Quatro (family name Quattrocchi; born 3rd June 1950).

All hail!

Monday, 2 June 2025

Summer in motion?


Sigh. Back to the office again...

After a lovely weekend spent almost entirely outdoors, it's time to get back to that desk-bound existence again.

Never mind, eh? We've just booked our flights for our pilgrimage to Amsterdam in August - and we'll be there for the 750th anniversary of the founding of our fave city [NB we booked our hotel two years in advance because accommodation would be rarer than hen's teeth during such a momentous event] - so there's much to look forward to!

Given the fact we're at the start of the month, on this Tacky Music Monday I think this bizarre offering from one of the Low Countries' [they originated in Belgium, but became famous in the Netherlands] - ahem - finest groups is most appropriate indeed...

Those outfits!

There's tacky music shows - and then there's Dutch tacky music shows!! A mindfuck.

Have a good week, dear reader...

Sunday, 1 June 2025

All together, now!

Another day, more pottering...

I think a little "light musical interlude" courtesy of the geniuses at Soft Tempo Lounge will finish off a busy weekend in a most appropriate fashion, don't you? "Sunday Music", indeed!

Lovely.

[Music: Collage - With squinting eyes (1970)]