Dream of a new Carioca

With so many weekends recently taken up with social gatherings of one sort or another, the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers had accumulated an impressive inch-deep carpet of leaves from the bastard weed tree (sycamore) still overhanging from next-door. I knew I needed to tackle it, so, with an unaccustomed burst of energy after yesterday's very lazy day, I did - and also began the process of "banishing death" by cutting back dead stems on the phlox and other perennials. Two very full black bags later, and I am very pleased with the result.

Now I am knackered, of course!

To ease my aches and pains, let's take a much-needed virtual holiday in the sunshine (I wish!), shall we? - courtesy of the faboo Soft Tempo Lounge:

Soft Tempo Lounge - Carioca '70

Ah, that's better...

[Music: Erlon Chavez - All My Love Is For You/Você Abusou]

But what's the use, you've cooked my goose

Mea culpa, mea culpa...

Only nine months too late - I only just realised the shameful fact that I missed Our Patron Saint of Whiskey Elaine Stritch's centenary in February!

We adored the great dame so much, too, for her legendary performance as "Joanne" in Sondheim's Company, her chutzpah and her uncompromising personality, and even her appearances on British telly in Two's Company (with Donald Sinden) - and thankfully we got to see her one woman show Elaine Stritch at Liberty at The Old Vic way back in 2002.

The obsession with all things "Stritchy" really began for me, however, when the CD version of her 1956 album Stritch [that The Madam had on vinyl for years] was released in 1995. I bought a copy in HMV in around 1999/2000 - and we played it to death!

Here, for your delectation, dear reader, is the whole thing, track-by-track:

Elaine Stritch - Are You Having Any Fun?

Elaine Stritch - You're Getting To Be A Habit With Me

Elaine Stritch - That's The Beginning Of The End

Elaine Stritch - And The Angels Sing

Elaine Stritch - Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

Elaine Stritch - That's My Boy

Elaine Stritch - I Don't Want To Walk Without You

Elaine Stritch - Too Many Rings Around Rosie

Elaine Stritch - The Object Of My Affection

Elaine Stritch - Easy Street

Elaine Stritch - If

Elaine Stritch - There's A Lull In My Life

Elaine Stritch - You Took Advantage Of Me

Fan-bloody-tastic!

All hail.

The funk just won't leave us alone

It feels like it's been a long time coming, but relief is almost here...

With the first weekend in ages where we have nothing planned on the horizon, we're nevertheless gearing up for that party mood. You've heard of "double denim" - how about "double lurex"? Let's take some fashion tips from the Brothers Johnson, and Thank Disco It's Friday!

Brothers Johnson - Stomp!

The heat is on
And the funk just won't leave us alone
Ev'rybody take it to the top

We're gonna stomp
All night
In the neighbourhood
Don't it feel all right
Gonna stomp
All night
Wanna party
'Til the morning light

Have a great weekend, dear reader!

You'd better push the button and let me know

You wait for ages for a Doctor, and two come along in one year...

Another timeslip moment, dear reader.

Our Jedi friends and their Venator-class Star Destroyer have dropped us off in another galaxy, far, far away...

...well, 2005 actually - the year of the revival of Doctor Who after a 16-year hiatus, the London tube and bus terrorist bombings, the Royal Wedding of Charles and "Horse-Face" Camilla, Hurricane Katrina, Jerry Springer - The Opera, Ellen MacArthur, civil partnerships for gay couples (including that of Elton John and David Furnish), Batman Begins, the Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth, the murder of "Dirty Den" in Eastenders, the final end of the Syrian occupation of Lebanon, Kinky Boots, the Taliban, Joseph Ratzinger, Jean Charles de Menezes, George Galloway, digital downloads overtaking sales of physical singles, David Cameron, The Thick of It, a third general election victory for Blair's New Labour, the Tsunami Relief concert, Madagascar, the devastating Kashmir earthquake, Mrs Henderson Presents, the award of the Olympics 2012 to London, Eurovision winner Helena Paparizou, the trial of Saddam Hussein, Chip and PIN payments, David Attenborough’s Life in the Undergrowth, Desperate Housewives, John Sentamu, and the ban on hunting with dogs; the births of YouTube, Primark, Google Maps, the Roboraptor and Etsy; and the year that Anne Bancroft, Ronnie Barker, Sir John Mills, former PM Lord James Callaghan, Robin Cook, Mo Mowlam, Johnny Carson, Victoria de los Ángeles, Gretchen Franklin, Luther Vandross, Barbara Bel Geddes, Birgit Nilsson, Patsy Rowlands, Pope John Paul II, Rosa Parks, Prince Rainier, Littlewoods, Cyril Fletcher, Richard Whiteley, MG Rover and Arthur Miller all died.

Making the news headlines in November twenty years ago? 24-hour licences for pubs in England and Wales arrived, Angela Merkel became the first female Chancellor of Germany, Charles and Camilla were on a state visit to the USA, the memorial service for former PM Sir Edward Heath was held in Westminster Abbey, it was goodbye Safeway and hello to Morrisons supermarkets, a Scottish man Andrew Stimpson was reportedly the first man "cured" of HIV, and we bade a fond farewell to footballing hero and playboy George Best. In our cinemas: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Nanny McPhee, The Legend of Zorro. On telly: I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here!, Little Britain moved to BBC1 from BBC3, Comic Relief (featuring Catherine Tate in EastEnders, BBC Newsreaders performing Bohemian Rhapsody, and a brand new Doctor Who adventure with David Tennant).

And in our charts this week in November 2005? Westlife (yawn) held the top slot, and also present and correct were Arctic Monkeys, Pussycat Dolls, Pharrell ft Gwen Stefani, Craig David, Robbie Williams, Goldfrapp, Hilary Duff and Kate Bush. This classic, however (a recent Number 1) was still holding its own...

Sugababes - Push The Button

Two decades ago? How did that happen???!!!

Of knights, Queens, Auntie Beeb, totty, Sir David, explosions and Lulu again

Arise, Sir Becks (and Lady Posh)! I'd kneel before him.

It's another snippets post, dear reader:

• Stylish Queens news: To mark the centenary year of the late HM The Queen, an exhibition titled Queen Elizabeth II: Her Life in Style will arrive in the King's Gallery, Buckingham Palace in April 2026. We will be booking to see this! From an article in Artnet:

  The show will be the largest display to date of the former monarch’s clothing, some of them never before seen. The checklist of nearly 200 pieces features items from all 10 decades of her life alongside outfits by contemporary British designers Erdem Moralioglu, Richard Quinn, and Christopher Kane, who took inspiration from her royal wardrobe. These pieces confirm the queen’s enduring influence on British fashion, even in the wake of her 2022 passing.

• The BBC axe falleth again news: The excellent journalist and broadcaster Matthew Sweet is departing Radio 3’s Sound of Cinema, a programme he founded. As Chris Bennion in The Telegraph says:

  All good things must come to an end, even in radioland where maintaining an illusion of permanence is paramount to the gentle rhythms of our day. So, just as we are processing the news that In Our Time will be presented by someone other than Melvyn Bragg, we learnt last week that Matthew Sweet is departing Radio 3’s Sound of Cinema, 12 years after he launched the programme. Much as In Our Time is Melvyn Bragg, Sound of Cinema is Matthew Sweet. His successor, Edith Bowman, has a tough job on her hands. Will she be more Roger Moore or George Lazenby?

  In Saturday’s final episode, Sweet referenced that radio-specific aversion to anything that looks like change. “When we began the show in 2013,” he said, that Hull accent jumping in every now and then like an eager child, “some people thought Radio 3 wasn’t the right place for a film-music programme. Twelve years later, I don’t hear that argument so much”. I would wager that’s because 12 years ago, the Radio 3 listeners didn’t know Sweet so well. “Film music demands serious attention,” said Sweet. And that’s exactly what he brought.

  A film-music programme on Radio 3? We all had the same sinking feeling. John Williams, The Lord of the Rings, Hans Zimmer, more John Williams, Chariots of Fire, The Godfather, yet more John Williams. We’ve got Classic FM for that soft-soap stuff, thank you very much. Yet Sweet defied us all, combining a cineaste’s enthusiasm with academic depth, delving far below the surface to add serious value to your listening.

• Too sexy for his shirt news:

The lovely Jonathan Bailey - whose career has rocketed from the West End [he did the most brilliant Not Getting Married Today when we saw him in the gender-reversed production of Sondheim's Company in 2018] via Bridgerton to big-screen stardom in Wicked - has been named as People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" 2025.

• Greed is good news: Computer chip manufacturer Nvidia's value now exceeds the GDP of every country except the US and China, according to data from the World Bank.
• World-famous dog news: The original image upon which the iconic HMV record shops logo is based - a painting titled His Master’s Voice, of "Nipper" the dog listening to a gramophone - has been purchased by The Huguenot Museum in Rochester.


• National treasure comes to the rescue news: The Wildlife Trusts and Northumberland Wildlife Trust bid to complete the purchase of the Rothbury Estate - a 15-sq-mile (38.8-sq-km) tract of former grouse moor, woodland and farmland, with plans to boost wildlife, restore bogs and promote nature-friendly farming - has seen a massive surge in donations since Sir David Attenborough released a video backing the appeal.
• And finally: Happy Bonfire Night! Yes, every year, we Brits celebrate the arrest and execution of Guy Fawkes and his gang, caught trying to blow up the Houses of Parliament in "The Gunpowder Plot" of 1605 - by lighting bonfires and igniting the wicks of thousands of tons of, erm, explosive fireworks! To celebrate, this:

Lulu with Take That - Relight My Fire

And the weather? Still exceptionally mild for early November.

Socially inept weirdo with an exhaustive knowledge of Blake’s 7

Five of the best haircuts if you never want to have sex again

Exhausted by all the sex you’re getting? Start living like a monk by asking your barber for these hairstyles.

Bowl cut
Despite being practical, the sex appeal of the bowl cut remains non-existent. Generations of nerds have persisted with trying to make this haircut work by insisting that women look past it and focus on their personalities instead. Unfortunately anyone with a bowl cut is a socially inept weirdo with an exhaustive knowledge of Blake’s 7, meaning they don’t even get a handjob.

Mullet
Even in the Eighties the mullet was a risky move when it comes to getting laid. Pair it with a Lamborghini Countach and a pastel jacket with the sleeves rolled up and you could be in there. Sadly, if you try any of that shit today you’ll be slinking back home alone to perform an online age verification test.

Mum cut
Mums are too busy running households and picking up the slack of their deadbeat husbands to engage in anything as trivial and time-wasting as having sex. This is why they purposefully get their locks hacked into unattractive choppy bobs that don’t suit the shape of their face. If a mum decides to grow her hair out again, it’s because she’s gearing up for an affair.

Whatever you were rocking as a teenager
Despite being surrounded by people who were a similar cocktail of desperate hormones, you never did manage to get any action as a teenager. This wasn’t just because you were a precocious teen, your greasy shoulder-length curtains, unflattering fringe and clumsily gelled-up quiff played their part too. Get back on your dry spell by bringing them back.

Dreadlocks (if you’re white)
Forget about whether or not dreadlocks are a hygienic hairstyle. Their repellent quality actually lies in telling people that they’re not cultural appropriation because Vikings used to wear them. Even if you’ve got the most charming, charismatic personality, nobody is willing to put up with your condescending and dubious lectures. Plus they just look shit on you.

The Daily Mash

Of course.

When stout-hearted men can stick together man to man

Yep. Back to the old routine...

Another enjoyable weekend has gone boom! - and it's back to the office time again... Hey ho.

Today, alongside fellow celebrants Dame Anna Wintour, John Barry, Adam Ant, Monica Vitti, Charles Bronson, Roseanne Barr, Lord Kenneth Baker, Dolph Lundgren, Jeremy Brett, Vincenzo Bellini, Robert Miles, Ben Fogle, Ian Wright, Viscount David Linley (2nd Earl of Snowdon), Dylan Moran, Gary Olsen and Benvenuto Cellini...

...it's Lulu's birthday!

So, to cheer us up, and to give us a bit of a wake-up call on this Tacky Music Monday, how about the great lady herself with this "safety-gay-heavy" number?

Lulu - Stout-Hearted Men

Have a good week, dear reader.

The vengeance of Hell boils in my heart

The eternal struggle between sunlight and darkness, between day and night - how utterly appropriate for this time of year...

And so it was that, with great anticipation, Hils, History Boy, Madam Arcati and I swished into the opulent grandeur of The Royal Opera House, Covent Garden for its latest revival of Sir David McVicar's classic [first staged in 2003] production of The Magic Flute [or, more properly, as it's sung in its native German, Die Zauberflote] (in its last weekend before it closes on Monday).

Mozart's last opera before his untimely death aged just 35, he deliberately chose to do it in Singspiel style - basically a "fairy tale" with spoken, as well as sung segments - with a bit of comedy, a bit of panto villainy, a smattering of satire, and a nod to his interest in secret societies thrown in.

As a sum of its parts, however, it's a work of genius...

"[It makes a] special claim on one's affections, because its libretto is high camp. It's a peerlessly silly masterpiece: sublimely lucid music arising out of a parodistic fairy tale that celebrates in all seriousness the exalted brotherhood of the Freemasons." - Pauline Kael

Speaking of camp, there are a couple of rather wonderful highlights amongst the beautifully-sung "heroic prince gets quest (with the "magic flute" of the title) to rescue beloved princess, prince loses princess, prince has to pass several trials, prince gets princess back, sunshine triumphs, everyone lives happily ever after except the villainess" plot - not least the comic sidekick Papageno's joy at the end of all the trials and tribulations to finally get his ideal (and similarly-named) girl [here in rehearsal (NB Huw played the role last night, but Stephanie Edwards played "Papagena")]:

Huw Montague Rendall and Elisabeth Boudreault - Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Papagena!

Of course, there is one spine-chilling moment that everyone's waiting for in this particular opera - and that's when the nastiest-of-nasty queens really shows what she's all about...

[Annie Fassea played the role last night - and was wonderful - but there's sadly no footage of her in the role, so this is the classic rendition - lyrics explained here]:

Diana Damrau - Der Hölle Rache (Queen of the Night aria) [The Magic Flute - Mozart]

Special mention must go the "star-crossed lovers" around whom the story revolves, Mingjie Lei as "Prince Tamino" and [the particularly good] Chelsea Zurflüh as "Princess Pamina", and to the much-maligned high priest "Sarastro", sung with booming magnificence by Timo Riihonen, as well as the camp-as-old tits "Three Ladies" Hannah Edmunds, Ellen Pearson and Emma Carrington.

Operas of this magnitude - this one's three hours' duration (with a 20-minute break) - are not for the faint-hearted or the weak-bladdered, however this production was so engaging and so brilliantly done, time passed really quickly. It really was a superb evening!

If you wanna have a good time

It's a conga line!

We're heading off tonight for a bit of culture (with a capital "K"), as a little gang of us have booked tickets for Mozart's The Magic Flute at The Royal Opera House, no less!

Meanwhile, it's All Hallows Day today, also known as All Saints...

...so let's have some appropriate music for the occasion, shall we?

All Saints - I Know Where It's At

Fuck. That song is 28 years old! It's the same age as Sydney Sweeney, Max Verstappen, Zara Larsson, Jacob Elordi, Raye and Channel 5...