The crow was your hair

Crows are as intelligent as children and far less hassle to look after, it has been claimed.

Researchers found that crows’ reasoning ability was equal to that of small children, but that crows did not demand repeated viewings of Madagascar 2.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “If you’re thinking about starting a family, get a crow instead.

“For example, it’s considered ‘inhumane’ to make your kids live in the garden, but with a crow it’s fine. Similarly, you can let a crow leave the house through a window and come back hours later of its own accord.

“Crows have a badass, take-no-shit attitude whereas kids cry all the time about nothing.”

The Daily Mash.

Of course.

An appropriate song, methinks, courtesy of the Human League:

Human League - A Crow And A Baby

A crow and a baby
Had an affair
The result was a landslide
The result was a dare

The result was a baby
Who wanted it all
Moved out of the doll's house
Moved out of the hall

With one wing on the town
And a gleam in an eye of red
Said, My father was a crow
Now I want all fathers dead

Find the fathers of this world
Treat them as a fatal foe
Put them in the deepest hole,
Then cover the pit with snow

With one wing on the town
And a gleam in an eye of red

I'm just trying to tell you
What you'll come up against
If you venture from my side
If you think you're so mature

You will end up in a field
You will be someone's manure
Mushrooms growing from your back
Feeding some damn carrion bird
Do you want to contribute
To the corruption of the world?

With one wing on the town
And a gleam in an eye of red

A crow and a baby
Had an affair
My dream was the baby
The crow was your hair

Parts of me love parts of you
That at least is obvious
Give my baby back to me
You must see it's only just

With one wing on the town
And a gleam in an eye of red
With one wing on the town
And a gleam in an eye of red

With one wing on the town
And a gleam in an eye of red