Genuine meal appeal

Everyone's auntie's favourite little girl singer, Dana (who, scarily, celebrates her 65th birthday tomorrow) first became a sensation when she won the Eurovision Song Contest for Ireland with the sugary-sweet ballad All Kinds of Everything way back in 1970.

Imagine everyone's surprise (shock? horror?) when, at the end of that decade she decided to get all "suggestive" and grown-up with a very different genre of song...

A camp "classic" eminently suitable for a Tacky Music (Bank Holiday) Monday!

Dana - Something's Cooking in The Kitchen

Well I'm your ten star blue plate special
I've always heard you say
But you're treating me tonight
Like I'm left overs in the greasy spoon café
And you're my high class de-luxe menu
With genuine meal appeal
But now you got some doubts about me eating out
And you know that just ain't real

Cos something's cookin' in the kitchen
Something's brewin' in the air
Something's burnin' in your microwave
And freezin' in your Frigidaire
Something's cookin' in the kitchen
Something's steamin' up the room
Something's broken down your thermostat
'N' I'm pickin' up a feelin'
You're gonna hit the ceilin' soon

Baby, there's one lesson you oughtta know I've learned
When you order what you want in other restaurants
You're sure to get your fingers burned
So try to be a little more tender
C'mon fall right off that bone
'Cos I don't go chasin' after hamburger
When I got steak at home

Awe-inspiring lyrics, too.

Having failed miserably to follow up her earlier successes, it is probably no wonder Dana drifted away from music towards a new career - in politics, of all things, unsuccessfully standing twice (on a "family values" ticket) for the post of Irish President (a strange move, considering she was actually born in Islington, London). Latterly, she seems to have become even more of a "god-botherer" than ever; her latest record is a tribute to Pope John-Paul 2. Yuk.

Have a good week, folks!