Out come the 1980s ballads and the weird confessions

Most Britons cannot possibly have just one drink, researchers have confirmed.

Scientists discovered that there is something in the first drink that renders British people incapable of not staying for another, even when they repeatedly insist they have to get up for work in the morning.

Dr Emma Bradford said: “Then once they are two drinks in, it seems a pity not to stay for one more, then they have another because they are having such a nice time.

“And two hours later, out come the 1980s ballads and the weird confessions.”

She added: “Until we can find a cure for this genetic defect, I would advise British drinkers to cut out the first drink completely and go straight on to the second and third.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

Chin, chin!