Where's it gonna go?

RIP, "Hotlips Hoolihan" (Loretta Swit, 4th November 1937 – 30th May 2025)

Another busy day in the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers in the warmth and the sunshine - it took a few hours to give the pots a bloody good watering (we've neglected them since last weekend, and some of them were bone dry), a job that I am very pleased I managed to finish just before the hose sprung a leak! I also potted-on a few specimens that needed doing - including another new Salvia that the Madam brought home after work. I've not long finished, and enjoying a much-needed cider...

All day, it's been a mixed bag of music - starting with classical, then Radio 1 Dance (which had to go off after while as it became a bit too drum'n'bass-heavy), then the ever-reliable Rylan on Radio 2; always a jolly show. He also plays some musical gems, some of which don't get played very often - including this one (another choon I haven't heard in ages)!

Armand Van Helden - My My My

Love that video...

I tell you this, you can't resist

OK - it's not quite that hot yet!

Phew! Made it...

This may have only been a four-day week, but it's been a pain in the arse.

With the grotty weather finally forecast to turn back to warm and sultry conditions (25C/77F today, and even warmer tomorrow), this will be a weekend to look forward to - and what better way to greet such news than with this choon, which always sounds sunny?

Let's get our shiniest jumpsuits on, grab a dancing waiter [it's Bruno Tonioli from Strictly Come Dancing, apparently], get a proper 80s-style dance party going - and Thank Disco It's Friday!

Julia and Company - Breakin' Down (Sugar Samba)

I haven't heard that in ages - it's addictive!

Have a great weekend, dear reader...

---

STOP PRESS:

This post was put under an adults-only warning - because of those tiny cocktail gherkins in the pic above?!

This place must be run by a very strict order of nuns...

Of cheese, canoes, cocks, oaks, cannabis, spice and sausage rolls

Only in the UK: the annual cheese-rolling race down the treacherous Coopers Hill in Gloucestershire resulted in two injured - and a shirtless German hunk winning it!

Yes, it's another "snippets post today", dear reader...

• Dedication to her job news: A news anchor in the US went into labour live on air - and carried on hosting the three-hour show!
• Nightmares in wax news: To mark National Sausage Roll Day next week [yes, such a thing does exist!], Madame Tussauds will unveil a waxwork of a Greggs sausage roll in pride of place in its display of "national treasures". No, it's not April Fools' Day...

• Canoeing totty news: A British canoeist has been banned from official competition because of his X-rated OnlyFans profile (that he apparently uses to raise money for his career), he claims. Now, which would you prefer? Watching a man try and manoeuvre a flimsy boat through cold water, or whopping his willy out on camera? Hmmmm...
• Happy Oak Apple Day! To mark the date of the restoration of monarchy under Charles II in 1660, people used to wear "oak apples" or a sprig of oak on this day every year. Despite the fact it is no longer a national holiday, across the country there are still "oak-related" events to mark the occasion.
• "The happy world of Haribo" news: Sweets manufactured under the Haribo label in the Netherlands have been recalled - because they contained cannabis! As if kids with a "sugar rush" weren't bad enough...
• And finally: It's "Scary Spice" Mel B's 50th birthday today! Time flies...

Spice Girls - Stop

That song is twenty-seven years old [and was in the charts when Madam Arcati and I got together]!

And the weather? Still blustery, but warming up nicely for the weekend...

Skip a beat and move with my body

A woman taking a week’s holiday abroad is weighed down by the expectation that it must be a voyage of emotional exploration and self-discovery.

Joanna Kramer, aged 40, feels herself pressured into activities focused on empowerment, spiritual awakening and embracing her independent womanhood when she would rather get drunk and shag hot Faliraki barmen.

She said: “I blame 'Eat Pray Love'. I can’t open Instagram - which by christ catches on quick - without a deluge of posts about women whose solo breaks helped them ‘achieve self-acceptance’ or were ‘a quest for meaning’.

“Sounds shit. I’d rather get my tanning hours in, then lick salt off a waiter’s nipple before a tequila shot, but instead I’m being told to walk up a mountain at 4am so I can see sunrise from its summit. Fuck off.

“Can’t I just do all the stuff you usually do on holiday, but with no-one else there? Do I have to be on a journey to being a better person? Is it really courageous to be off work and lying in the sun?

“One comment on my socials said ‘It seems like you’re running away from something.’ Yes! Britain.”

Counsellor Sophie Rodriguez said: “Unattached women can enjoy vacationing alone only if they gaze dreamily out of windows while it rains, then sigh to let viewers know they’re going to be okay after all.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

---

Meanwhile...

Among the numerous Diva birthdays in this season (Dame Joan Collins was 92 on 23rd May; Cher was 79 on 20th May; also born this month were Dame Joanna Lumley, Sir Ian "Serena" McKellen, Bea Arthur, Katharine Hepburn, Peggy Lee, Grace Jones, Christine Baranski, Audrey Hepburn, Liberace, Adele, Lily Allen, Rosemary Clooney, Cate Blanchett, Helena Bonham Carter, Gladys Knight, Tammy Wynette and Stevie Nicks) - it's Our Princess Kylie's today!!

She knows how to enjoy herself on holiday:

Kylie Minogue - Slow

Many happy returns, Kylie Ann Minogue (born 28th May 1968)!

This'll be the last time I ever do your hair

I'll have a large gin in that, please.

Oh yuk! Back to work again. At least it's only for another four days...

Meanwhile, one of our "house fave" bands here at Dolores Delargo Towers the Scissor Sisters are back (minus darling Ana Matronic, admittedly), and on tour in the UK (with rave reviews). We unfortunately missed their headline concert at the O2 (aka "the Millennium Dome") last Friday - understandably; tickets there are extortionate! - but at least we have happy memories of seeing them at a far more manageable-sized venue Koko in Camden way back in 2006 [filmed for MTV, no less - and I won free tickets for it in a draw!]...

As part of the hoo-hah surrounding the 2025 tour [organised, as it is, to mark the 20th anniversary of the release of their debut album], the scalliwags have uploaded this, an alternative video - that I certainly never saw before - for their first-ever hit, and it is faboo!

Scissor Sisters - Laura (Cabaret Version)

All hail, Scissor Sisters!

I like the masculine, I like the mind, and I like any other kind that I can find

Sharing the day (as she does) with another cornucopia of names such as Al Jolson, John Wayne, Helena Bonham Carter, Michael Portillo, Stevie Nicks, Philip Treacy, George Formby, Mick Ronson, Sir Alan Hollinghurst, Robert Morley, Miles Davis, Peter Cushing, Queen Mary, Roy Dotrice, Sir Matt Busby, Pam Grier, Black, Matt Stone, Alec McCowen [his centenary], Lenny Kravitz, Philip Michael Thomas, Poet Laureate Simon Armitage, Zola Budd, Lauryn Hill, and (erm) Jeremy Corbyn...

...it would have been the 105th birthday today of Miss Norma Deloris Egstrom!

Of course, we know her far better by another name altogether, and - despite her back-catalogue containing a whole array of utter gems [see here for my centenary celebration, featuring many of her classics] - on this Tacky Music Bank Holiday Monday, it's a Diva double we have lined up...

Peggy Lee! Judy Garland! Men! These are a few of my favourite things:

Peggy Lee and Judy Garland - I Like Men

Enjoy the extra day off, dear reader. [It's the last Bank Holiday we in the UK have until August!] If it stays dry (even if it's still blustery) I shall be pottering out in the garden (like yesterday) again, no doubt...

Peggy Lee (26th May 1920 – 21st January 2002)

Your key don't fit in my lock no more

[photo: KM's Live Music shots]

Sad news today, as we learn of the death of jazz vocalist extraordinaire Lillian Boutté. Hardly a household name, admittedly - but her career spanned many decades, starting as a backing singer for the likes of Patti LaBelle, The Pointer Sisters and Dr. John, and later as a collaborator with some of the legends of "New Orleans-style" trad jazz such as Humphrey Lyttelton, Chris Barber, Oscar Klein and Pee Wee Ellis.

We actually saw her live way back in 2010, performing on the bandstand at Regent's Park, and she was superb!

By way of a tribute, here are just a few examples of her talent:

Lillian Boutté - Oh, When the Saints

Maryland Jazz Band feat. Lillian Boutté - C'est Si Bon

Lillian Boutté - You Got the Right Key, But the Wrong Keyhole

Perfect Sunday music...

She came from Greece, she had a thirst for knowledge

Another view up my back passage. I'm spoiling you, dear reader.

It's the start of a three-day Bank Holiday weekend here in the UK - and true to form, the Piccadilly Line (our nearest Tube) is not running. Again.

That's a bit of a bugger, as I am heading to Leicester Square to meet up with fellow "Marvel-geek" John-John to go and see the latest MCU blockbuster Thunderbolts* [the asterix is intentional], so my journey is going to be slightly convoluted (but manageable)...

Meanwhile... a bit of news has caused consternation among people who don't yet believe they're actually getting older - this classic song is thirty years old this week! Gulp. To me, it's timeless...

Pulp - Common People

...as is the William Shatner version, but that's a whole different subject altogether...

Play that funky music 'till you die

Oh, thank fuck for that - the weekend's nearly upon us!

It's pay day, and a three-day weekend, to boot - just what the doctor ordered after my first week back after a faboo fortnight's holiday...

Time to plan for that party - and to get ourselves in the party spirit, why don't we just don some ill-matching primary colours and flap around randomly on a stage to an all-time dance classic funk choon - just like the hapless [and thankfully soon-to-be-replaced - this was their last-ever routine on Top of the Pops] Ruby Flipper?

Thank Disco It's (Spring Bank Holiday) Friday!

Play That Funky Music by Wild Cherry [Top Of The Pops, October 1976]

Have a faboo weekend, dear reader!

I've reached the top and had to stop, and that's what botherin' me

Happy National Beer Garden Day! [I am waiting for it to warm up a bit before spending time in one, to be honest...]

Among another ill-matched assortment of fellow celebrants including Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Richard Wagner, Sir Laurence Olivier, Naomi Campbell (55), Harvey Milk [NB Harvey Milk Day 22 May is a holiday in California], Charles Aznavour, Quinn Martin, Hergé, George Best, Barbara Parkins, Alla Nazimova, Don Estelle, Richard Benjamin, Jerry Dammers, Cheryl Campbell, Bernie Taupin (75), Graham Linehan, Morrissey and - erm - Katie Price, it would have been the birthday today of Mr Kenny Ball [his 95th, indeed]!

I have always been a fan of "trad jazz", of which Mr Ball (with his Jazzmen) was a master - so what better excuse to feature some highlights from his long career?

Kenny Ball and his Jazzmen - Someday (You’ll be Sorry)

Kenny Ball and his Jazzmen - King of the Swingers (I Wanna Be like You)

Kenny Ball and his Jazzmen - Midnight In Moscow

Pure class!

Kenneth Daniel "Kenny" Ball (22nd May 1930 – 7th March 2013)

Something fishy

What the fuck is a kipper?, asks anyone under 40

The UK has apparently been stitched up like a herring that has been split, gutted, smoked and is now, to widespread horror, served up for breakfast.

Media attempts to stoke outrage by likening Britain to a kipper have foundered on whole generations not knowing what a kipper is and then, on discovery, being disgusted.

Lucy Parry, aged 28, said: “Sorry? Eating a fish? Before 7am?

“You consume a whole smoked fish then go to work? With that roiling in your belly? Breathing out fish fumes to everyone on the tube? If the EU wants to stop that I’m all fucking for it.”

32-year-old James Bates added: “Also, explain to me why I should give a shit about fishermen? Farmers I get, grudgingly. But I’m hazy on the moral imperative to save blokes who go out in boats.

“As a graphic designer I’m at risk of losing my job to AI. Will the fishermen rally round to save me by blockading offshore server farms with their boats? No, I don’t fucking think they will either.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

[The "real" story".]

[The derivation of the phrase.]

Of royalty, blooms, beaches, bees and bog roll

Another snippets post today, dear reader...

• Floral news: The RHS Chelsea Flower Show opened its doors to the hoi-polloy today - after HM The King and Queen Camilla, the media and assorted celebs including Dame Mary Berry, Cate Blanchett, David Beckham, Vanessa Feltz, Richard E Grant, Amanda Holden, Felicity Kendal and Dame Joanna Lumley had the place to themselves yesterday.
• Not the kind of beach holiday he expected news: A British tourist had to be rescued after digging a hole in the sand at Copacabana Beach and hitting quicksand, but was helped through it by a can of cold beer. Not the first time men have been sucked on a beach in Rio de Janeiro, I imagine.
• Romance is not dead news: A new wedding gift registry service has been launched by Tesco that includes toilet tissue, toothpaste, refuse sacks, kitchen towel, antibacterial hand wash and shower products. Now, that would look lovely in the photos...
• And finally - Catch that buzz: It's (coincidentally) World Bee Day today! And we know a song about that, don't we?

Arthur Askey - Bee Song (1937)

Hope you're humming along, dear reader!

And the weather? Up and down again like a whore's drawers.

What The Hell Just Happened?

We wuz robbed again (#673 in a series)!

OK, the UK's entry in the Eurovision Song Contest final in Basel on Saturday night didn't do as badly as the past two years (when Mae Muller got a meagre 24, then Olly Alexander got 46) - several countries' juries gave us points, and Italy gave us the full 12 - but once again, it seems, the voting public out there still hate us...

Still, our party was fab, raucous fun as always!

Hils (Albania), John-John (Sweden), Baby Steve (Estonia), Sally (Poland), Lou (Norway), Me (host/UK), Madam Arcati (Spain), Houseboy Alex (Italy), History Boy as "Kant" (Malta), Terry Wogan shrine.

The show - as ever - was a long haul. It opened at 8pm, with a bizarre (Swiss-style) intro involving a locked box containing the trophy, mountaineers and - ahem - goats. It closed after midnight.

We made it to the end and beyond, having endured (among many others) "Elliot Page starring in a musical Dune" [as described by The Independent] (Norway), an S&M tribute to Gaia (Poland), smiling-yet menacing "witches" (Latvia), the Icelandic equivalent of Jedward, a Munchkin singing a tribute to a far greater ESC entry in 1965 by France Gall (Luxembourg), the controversial dance number that had to change its lyrics because the plastic-surgery-afflicted singer's pronunciation of "Kant" (= "singing" in Maltese) sounded too much like "cunt", a dull (and rather flat) soul-pop ballad by a man singing to his younger self in a mirror (Netherlands), a big mama with a club banger that appeared be about hallucinogenic drugs (Denmark), another (thunder-thighed) dominatrix with a thinly-veiled song about orgasms (Finland), a dull song from a girl to whom maquillage is an alien concept (Switzerland), a woman whose idea of "set gimmick" was to have a load of sand poured on her (France), a shirtless "macho-action-hero" on a running machine (Armenia), a Bowie-wannabee [who I thought looked more like an anorexic Alice Cooper] being all pretentious with a giant-sized grand piano, and a petulant gang of bored grunge-types from Lithuania. It's nothing if not varied...

Of course, there had to be "novelty songs" or else it wouldn't be Eurovision - and two of them were in our gang's Top 5 [yes - we do all have scorecards, as well as all the dressing up, and the booze-and-buffet-of-all-nations]:

#2 - Estonia: Tommy Cash - Espresso Macchiato

#3 - Sweden: KAJ - Bara Bada Bastu

We tried, and failed, to do Mr Cash's "wobbly-leg dance" all evening!

Also scoring well in the "Dolores Delargo Towers jury" votes:

#4 Greece: Klavdia - Asteromáta

#5 Spain: Melody - Esa Diva

The voting in the actual contest was a bit different... A good chunk of the viewing time is given over to the various representatives of the professional juries of all thirty-seven participating countries reading out their votes [our spokesperson was "Dame" Sophie Ellis-Bextor!], and by the end of it the UK had not done too badly:

1 Austria 258
2 Switzerland 214
3 France 180
4 Italy 159
5 Netherlands 133
6 Sweden 126
7 Latvia 116
8 Greece 105
9 Estonia 98
10 United Kingdom 88

Unfortunately, then came the public votes - and the whole thing turned on its head! It turned into a close-run battle that saw Israel, Estonia, Sweden, Austria and Albania (in that order) at the top of the list - and no-one, in the entire voting world, gave the UK a single point. AGAIN! [Nor, interestingly, did the host nation Switzerland get any public votes either.]

Adding the two totals together inevitably meant that the ditzy little queen with the operatic counter tenor voice won the competition...

JJ - Wasted Love [Austria]:

He's talented, that much is true, but as songs go... Meh. As The Independent [again, link as above] put it, "Expect future Eurovisions to be awash with tracks resembling rave remixes of Tosca. And for the event to become ever more about optics than earworms."

Sigh.

I'll leave the final comment to "our girls" - whose performance was, in our gang's opinion, brilliant, and whose song was a damned sight better than a shitload of others for whom the audience did deign to give points:

Dolores Delargo Towers jury #1, United Kingdom: Remember Monday - What The Hell Just Happened?

Same time, next year?

Of course!!!!

No No No

Nooooo!

Once again, the reverie is over, and it's back to the slog.

It's been a wonderful couple of weeks - a lovely holiday in Spain, a "sorting week", and the Eurovision party to end it all [I will post about it soon, honest...] - so I am completely unprepared for all this. Dammit!

Among another slew of famous celebrants, including our Patron Saint of Snarling Grace Jones, the much-missed Victoria Wood, Heaven 17's Martyn Ware, Nellie Melba, Malcolm X, Nancy Astor, Pete Townshend, Kemal Atatürk, Sam Smith, Ho Chi Minh, Edward de Bono, Nancy Kwan, Joey Ramone, Sandy Wilson, Robert Kilroy-Silk, James Fox, and - erm - Pol Pot, it would have been Miss Alma Cogan's birthday today!

On this Tacky Music Monday, only she can save us now...

Alma Cogan - Never Tango With an Eskimo

Have a good week, dear reader. I won't.

I'm smiling...

A view up my back passage; new garden shelving to the left of the photo [click to embiggen]

It's been a real "recovery day" today, dear reader.

I finally turned in at 4am after our fantabulosa Eurovision party last night [more on that later, no doubt]!

I'm inevitably the "last man standing" after any such do - and the guests departed (or had gone to bed; the boys from Essex were staying over) by 2am - but after all that (and after clearing the entire buffet and assorted detritus such as used plates, plastic cups et al into the bins) I love a chance to enjoy the silence for a while.

It has, however, been a heavy week of slog - in the house and in the garden - so [despite having my sleep disturbed by the stupid, yapping Pomeranian dog that our delightful neighbours - instead of walking the fucking thing - shut out in their garden every morning at around 7am] I really needed a good rest, and slept in until almost midday. Despite having arisen, had coffee and a few fags, I was still weary - so (unaccustomed as I am to doing so) I went to bed again...for another two hours!

Hey ho. I had no plans, other than taking down the flags and bunting from the party anyhow...

I think a little "Sunday Music" from our "house band" is in order:

Postmodern Jukebox ft. Effie Passero, Tatum Langley, and Sara Niemietz - Die With A Smile [Bruno Mars / Lady Gaga 1940s "Fallout" Style Cover]

It's not like me to play anything by that "culture-leech" GaGa, but since I don't even know the original, and the PMJ ladies do such a great job of this - and it's the last knockings before I return to work tomorrow - I forgive myself!

The melding of the Gay Multiverse

When significant events in the the gay calendar collide, can mayhem be far behind..?

Today is not only the Grand Final of the Eurovision Song Contest aka "The Gay World Cup" (and our raucous party here at Dolores Delargo Towers to mark the occasion), not only our beloved "niece" Baby Steve's birthday [shy, unassuming thing that he is, as the pic above proves]...

...but it also happens to be the International Day Against Homophobia [originally founded to commemorate the World Health Organization's decision in 1990 to declassify homosexuality as a mental disorder on this date in 1990, it has now [inevitably; sigh...] been co-opted by other ideologies to include trans people as well, for some reason]!

It is shocking, in this day and age - we are in the third decade of the 21st century, not some Victorian pseudo-puritan nor Medieval god-fearing feudal world, ffs! - that in 64 UN member states homosexuality remains illegal, and in at least seven (if not more) punishable by death! Mali, Uganda, Guinea Bissau, Iran, Peru and Afghanistan have been particularly rabid in recent times in their crackdowns. Even in the so-called "civilised world", Eastern European states such as Russia and its allies and even EU member state Hungary continue to harass, punish and imprison gay people for no reason other than bigotry, and in the "saintly" US of A same-sex marriage and other rights are under attack in numerous Trump-loving states.

Even as I continue the tidy-up and preparations for the party, I still make time for this message to homophobes everywhere...

GayClic Collab Against Homophobia - Fuck You!

It's traditional.

I feel it's safe to dance alone

I may not be in work this week, but by heavens! It feels like I've done several shifts of hard labour - admittedly, yesterday's slog rearranging the myriad pots of plants we have in the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers on and around the faboo new shelving I constructed on Wednesday was extremely satisfying (and I am sure there will be plenty of photos forthcoming, no doubt), as it looks absolutely fabulous and gives a whole new dimension to the tiny space we have to work with!

Still a load of (less rewarding) jobs to do today, however - hoovering, cleaning the bog, cleaning windows, that sort of thing - before I can embark upon the final decorations (bunting, flags of all nations) for tomorrow's party to celebrate the Grand Final of the Eurovision Song Contest 2025.

YAY! It's the "Gay World Cup"!!!

Speaking of which...

...Thank Disco The Roop It's Friday!

The Roop - Discoteque [Lithuania, Eurovision Song Contest 2021]

Enjoy the weekend, folks - whether or not you choose to (or ar able to) enjoy the madness of the biggest live event in the world!

And it's getting kind of late now. Oh, I wonder if you'll stay now...

You know you're getting old when...

...you discover that arch-post-punk-popstrel Miss Hazel O'Connor blows out 70 candles on her cake tomorrow!

Alongside her contemporaries such as Poly Styrene, Toyah, Lene Lovich and our Patron Saint of "Don't Fuck With Me" attitude the marvellous Siouxsie Sioux, she epitomised a type of female empowerment rarely seen in pop music - somewhat androgynous, not sexy, unconventional and formidable - that suited the early 80s zeitgeist perfectly.

Although her star shone magnificently but briefly, and she never regained those dizzy heights, she certainly left us with a few enduring gems:

Hazel O'Connor - Eighth Day

Hazel O'Connor - D-Days

...and this utter classic, that she performed beautifully when we saw her live way back in 2013:

Hazel O'Connor - Will You

Many happy returns, Hazel Thereasa O'Connor (born 16th May 1954)!

Another pop potpurri

It's been a busy time here at Dolores Delargo Towers! Instead of, as one might have expected after a fun-packed holiday in Spain burning the candle at both ends (as is our wont), taking a bit of a breather and a wind-down - with the combination of a garden rocketing away before our eyes and needing to be sorted-out and the "party of the year" for Eurovision pending this weekend, there's been loads of work to do.

Today alone, while cleaning, I tackled an unwanted infestation of moths and their grubs that I found have half-eaten the carpet behind chairs in the bedroom and I built a new set of garden shelving that we hope will make a big difference in accommodating our rapidly-expanding collection of plants (all Spring I have been splitting and dividing overgrown specimens, which inevitably increases the volume, and (obviously) shopping for more - especially on my Easter jaunt to Essex). The Madam's been back at work, but still embarked on scrubbing-down the front room in anticipation of guests. Phew!

Time, methinks for a bit of a musical interlude, with some of the "newer" choons that have caught my ear of late [thanks, Mr DeVice for spurring me into actually finishing a draft blog idea I have had pootling around for ages]...

Let's open with a pleasant surprise! I have always had a soft spot for Dame Elton John, but when I found out that his newest choice of collaborator was a country'n'western artiste, I dreaded the outcome. I was entirely wrong - I love this! A real nod to his heyday:

Elton John & Brandi Carlile – Who Believes In Angels?

A singer who never disappoints is Our Sophie - here's her brand new (and rather good) single:

Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Taste

The engimatic Ms Goldfrapp's new one's pretty catchy, too:

Alison Goldfrapp - Find Xanadu

It's been a bit of a cavalcade of "welcome returns" in the past few months - not least for none other than the Mael brothers!

Sparks - Do Things My Own Way

...and here's another:

Andy Bell - Don't Cha Know

At last! The hoo-ha about the reformation and return of the original trio of Sugababes has so far been a bit of a "damp squib" - however, this one has their full signature hit-making sound, so let's hope it becomes one:

Sugababes - Jungle

Here's an oddity that I have been hanging on to for too long without sharing it here - it's an absolute work of genius!

Franz Ferdinand - Toxic (Britney Spears cover) in the Radio 2 Piano Room

And finally - saving the best for last, it's Our Princess!

Alok & Kylie Minogue - Last Night I Dreamt I Fell In Love

Enjoy! And, as ever dear reader, let me know your thoughts...

---

PS

My post about the posthumous premiere of Stephen Sondheim's Here We Are, that we went to see the night before we flew to Spain, is over at the Dolores Delargo Towers Museum of Camp...

Clueless

An obviously gay man appears to be the only person in his circle of friends, acquaintances and family to have no inkling of his sexuality.

Tom Booker, aged 26, believes he is just yet to meet a girl who has "the focus of Cher, the bravery of Madonna and the sheer sequinned fabulousness of Christina Aguilera."

He continued: “There just never seem to be any single women when I’m pursuing my interests, whether attending the ballet or doing Indonesian cookery courses. I’m putting myself out there!

“Occasionally I get a lady posting an admiring comment on my TikToks where I lip-sync to Britney Spears tracks, but I wouldn’t want to date a fan.

“I don’t get lonely – there’s always 'Drag Race' on telly – but I do get despondent sometimes, coming home from yet another date with a girl who for whatever reason just doesn’t turn me on and drowning my sorrows in bathtime Bellinis.

“Yes, I wish I had a life partner to take to the musical of 'The Devil Wears Prada' who could sympathise with my own struggles to enter the fashion industry. But I’m prepared to wait.”

Friend Joanna Kramer said: “We are thinking of locking him briefly in a closet to see if he gets it.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

¡El retorno!

Yes, we are back from another marvellous, fun-packed week in the (slightly breezy) sunshine of the lovely resort of Benalmadena on the Costa del Sol - tanned and gorgeous as ever!

We made the trip especially to join the celebrations to mark the 20th anniversary of our favourite and most regular beach bar, Palm 5, a tribute to its owner Arnold, and to the loveliest crew of staff you'll find anywhere - Rita, Kim, Danny, Sophie and the rest. There was a party on the Saturday evening we arrived and, despite being somewhat shell-shocked (as we were after two consecutive nights out at the theatre and a long day travelling), we had a whale of a time, especially as some familiar faces had also made the effort to be there, including former team members Manon (who now has her own bar Miluca along the paseo, which we also always visit), the lovely Andy (who was there with Arnold right at the outset when we first visited nineteen years ago), and the fantabulosa Cinzia [with us in the top photo] (who, by the end of her stay, had agreed to return to Palm 5 as manager!).

With all that, and great food, booze, visits to our night-time haunts in La Nogilera in Torremolinos Chessa Bar and Vida, booze, more great food, wallowing in the sun-terrace of another favourite bar The Dizzy Donkey, a Flamenco evening, and booze on top, we had a great holiday!

But what did we miss while we were away?

• New mitre, old dictatorship news: There's a new Pope, apparently.
• 'Tis the season news: The BBC Proms 2025 lineup was announced just before we left, and tickets go on sale this week. I haven't looked at it thoroughly, to be honest, but somehow I doubt we'll be buying tickets - especially since our fave event Proms in the Park is now defunct. Here's the trailer, for your delectation:

Get ready for the Proms 2025

• Slow news: A tortoise that went missing nine months ago has been found - just a mile from his home!
• A salutary tale: Don't volunteer to be a nude model for an art student!
• Old cocks cause arguments news: A professor at Oxford University says there are 93 depictions of male genitalia in the Bayeux Tapestry, while an expert on Anglo-Saxon nudity claims he has found an extra phallus. Cock-spotting? A hobby I understand.

Speaking of which: we missed celebrating the 50th birthday of sex god David Beckham...

...and that of Enrique Iglesias, as well as the 70ths of Donatella Versace and Anne-Sofie von Otter, the 60ths of Rob Brydon and Linda Evangelista and Lily Allen's 40th - and the 99th birthday of the "national treasure" Sir David Attenborough! We also missed the chance to bid a fond farewell to the faboo Ruth Buzzi, of Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In fame...

Whew.

To finish, here's a piece of music that was played at the Palm 5 party - we love it!

Dusty Springfield - Spooky [Quinten 909 Extended Remix]

Is it good to be back?

NO!!!

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FOOTNOTE:

I haven't forgotten that it's a Tacky Music Monday - nor the fact that it's the Eurovision Song Contest (and our accompanying party, of course) this weekend.

Blending the two perfectly - this!

Subwoolfer - Give That Wolf A Banana

Oh, I cannot wait to see if anyone this year can top that!

Vamos!

We do like to blend in with the locals.

By the time you see this, dear reader, we should be in the sky heading for another hedonistic week in the sunshine of Andalusia!

There's only one thing to play now:

Loona - Vamos a la Playa

"Normal" service will resume sometime after our return next weekend...

Postcards from Amsterdam? Phone calls from Birmingham?

Almost there...

Just one working day and a Sondheim show to go [and you'll have to wait till I'm back in Blighty for any kind of post about that one], and we'll be off to the delights of the Costa del Sol again tomorrow!

Speaking of the joys of of the Costas...this!

Baccara - Darling

Gracias Disco ¡Ya es viernes!

Have a good weekend, dear reader!

From a strange world*, indeed

The countdown to Spain is speeding up - just two more days to go and we'll be there! Ironically, it's warmer here in London today than it is in Malaga...

[Meanwhile, we have not one, but two theatre trips to enjoy - tonight is a tribute evening at Wilton's Music Hall to the late, great operatic contralto Kathleen Ferrier - read more about her over at the Dolores Delargo Museum of Camp - and tomorrow it's the UK premiere of Stephen Sondheim's last musical Here We Are. We'll be knackered by the time we arrive on the Costa..!]

I think something suitably Spanish is in order - and it doesn't get much more camp than house fave María Jiménez!

María Jiménez - De un mundo raro

I dress just like that whenever I go shopping.

[* De un mundo raro = "From a strange world" in English]

[More Señorita Jiménez]