Almost there...
As what might well turn out to be a decent warm weekend is looming on the horizon, so we need to get ourselves into the party mood!
How about something completely hilarious, as we venture into the murky world of obscure low-budget 80s Hi-NRG productions, such as this one - from an US "artiste" based entirely in Japan (where presumably they didn't mind that she could barely sing and certainly couldn't dance).
Enjoy - and Thank Disco It's Friday!
Have a great one, dear reader!
Oh, wow..!! Our Glorious Leader Madonna has done it again - after all, why do a three-minute pop video for a single when you can do an entire mini-movie, with clips from several tracks, to tease the arrival of your new album?!
Featuring an all-star cast that includes Sabrina Carpenter, Benedict Cumberbatch, Kate Moss, Gwendoline Christie, Richard E. Grant, Julia Garner, Shygirl, Arca, Odessa A’zion, Archie Madekwe, Debi Mazar, Madonna’s daughter Lourdes Leon and Chelsea footballers Cole Palmer and Joao Pedro, this trailer for her much anticipated Confessions II is a cinematic work of epic proportions - and I love it!
I can't wait for the album itself to arrive on 3rd July - just in time for Pride in London!
Fashion. Inflatable rooms and furniture?! Human kaleidoscopes?!
Let the wonders commence, and let those marvellous people at Soft Tempo Lounge take us on a trip. And it is a trip...
Ah, that's better.
[Music: Les Masques - Mais un jour...]
FOOTNOTE - a word from our sponsor:
A.I. CONTENT vs STL PRESENTATIONS
Dear fans and friends, we have crossed the ‘A.I. Rubicon’… not to be too melodramatic.
The flood of A.I. generated videos, images, and music across YouTube and the Internet is at an unprecedented pace. Driven by algorithms that reward relentless content production these creations increasingly dominate search results, recommendations and playlists. The sheer scale of A.I. ‘retro/lounge’ content is overwhelming the authentic music, art and culture, while stripped of historical context, cultural depth and the human experience that gave it meaning.
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As original recordings, films, photographs, and artwork become harder to discover, we risk losing touch with that heritage - the musicians, performers, filmmakers, designers and countless other creative individuals whose talent, vision and dedication shaped the era we cherish.
At Soft Tempo Lounge, we remain committed to celebrating authentic recordings, genuine artistry, and the rich cultural history of the music and visual aesthetics we love. Our little corner remains a place where the REAL THING can still be found... where it remains accessible, appreciated, and connected to its true origins.
Thank you for joining us in keeping that legacy alive!The Soft Tempo Lounge Team.
The Spanish tourist board is encouraging Britons to visit this summer for a good chuckle at all those miserable because they cannot be in Dubai.
As thousands of former influencers and the wealth-adjacent are forced to spend summers in a less glamorous location due to an inconvenient war, ordinary people are invited for a cheap holiday to wallow in someone else’s misery.
Holidaymaker Jordan Gardner said: “You can see them congregating in beachfront cafes, bitching about how low the skyscrapers are or that 30 degrees isn’t hot enough.
“My girlfriend and I settled in next to them, luxuriating in their complaints that you can’t get a decent gold leaf coffee anywhere. It’s so relaxing hearing them fall silent as a Mercedes S-Class goes by, swallowing their bitter regret they’re not in it.”
Susan Traherne, owner of Inspector Morse-themed bar One More Pint said: “We get them in here, moaning none of the hotel pools are infinite, disappointed their cocktails don’t cost three figures.
“We put an influencer on stage to bitch that she couldn’t hire a gold-plated Lamborghini anywhere so how could she make content and it was harming her hustle. The regulars were in stitches. Far better than the Chubby Brown tribute we’d booked.”
Former Dubai resident Nikki Hollis said: “How can it be a holiday without a Prada store? Why has this crowd gathered? What’s schadenfreude? Is it a German watch brand? Are they up for a collab?”
Of course.
Among another oddly-matched list of "names" including Joan Rivers, Bonnie Tyler, Robert Preston, Tim Berners-Lee, Robert Schumann, Mick Hucknall, John Everett Millais, Nancy Sinatra, Tomaso Albinoni, Jerry Stiller, Boz Scaggs, Barbara Bush, James Darren, Colin Baker, Frank Lloyd Wright, Scott Adams, Alexis Smith, Francis Crick and - erm - Kanye West...
...it's Millie Martin's birthday today (and thankfully she's still with us, aged 92). Most famous as the regular singer on That Was The Week That Was in the Swinging 60s, she's had a remarkable career, on telly and on stage - not least as a Sondheimite, nominated for a Tony award for her part in the original cast of Side By Side By Sondheim
And, on this Tacky Music Monday, here she is as part of an estimable ensemble of West End luminaries [in Hey, Mr. Producer!, June 1998], singing one of the great man's funniest "patter songs"...
Love it!
Have a good week, dear reader.
It's another snippets post, dear reader:
Perfect for a Sunday.
And the weather? All over the place! Still blustery and battering our garden, but at least the rain held off today. Until tonight...
PS:
The demon spawn next door have been screaming all afternoon on their fucking trampoline. Thanks to a discovery by Madam Arcati, we have the perfect answer:
And so, farewell to the twinkly-eyed, devilishly handsome, suave and sophisticated Anthony Head, who died this week.
Many people associate him most, understandably, with his long-running character "Giles" in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I hardly ever watched the show.
Instead, like most Britons of a certain age, it is for this - the role that made him famous, the most romantic "soap opera" ["coffee opera", perhaps?] on telly in the 80s - that we remember him most!
He was so much more than that, needless to say. He had a much-lauded stage career, and as a singer released a few albums of solo work.
This, of course, was perhaps his most surprising role...
Don't get strung out...
RIP, Anthony Stewart Head (20th February 1954 – 1st June 2026)
The weekend hoves into view at last!
The weather may be persistently grey, blustery and forecast for more showers - but here's something suitably uplifting to get us in a party mood...
So whip on your best flouncy pink satin jumpsuit, sing along with Gonzalez - and Thank Disco It's Friday!
Have a fab one, dear reader!
I think we are well overdue, dear reader, another little selection of some of the "newer" choons that have caught my ear of late, don't you..?
Let's start with something completely unexpected - and rather wonderful:
Next up, a new one from everyone's fave gay Glam-Rocker:
It's always good to hear something new from one of my most revered bands of the 80s - and it is indeed [gulp] forty years this year since Notorious was released - with "their friend Nile". I love the pastiche of Top of the Pops in this video, too:
One of our most cherished divas of late has put together what she's calling a "visual album" on her YouTube channel - and from it, I adore this one:
Speaking of "Divas", our beloved Princess has released a brand new track to accompany her Netflix documentary. Perhaps not destined to rank amongst her classic back-catalogue, but it has charm, nonetheless:
But - saving the best to last - THIS!
As ever, I love to know your thoughts...
...choose carefully; and always take a map!
[click to embiggen - oo-er, Missus!]
From Vargic's Miscellany of Curious Maps. A must for every bookcase.
An office arsehole has greeted the end of the May heatwave by saying ‘Hope you enjoyed summer,’ and the worst of it is that he may well be correct.
Martin Bishop, aged 44, has accosted everyone he meets with the one-liner he mistakenly believes to be the pinnacle of ironic British humour, but is more likely to be an entirely accurate forecast.
He continued: “Apparently summer’s on a Wednesday next year! Eh? Eh? You like that one? Why the sour face mate, only a joke.
“Three months of chilly drizzle’s only going to make you appreciate your holiday more. And my gag, which is as British as greasy fish and chips in soggy newspaper and will surely only get funnier as the grey weeks roll on.
“After all, you can’t get more British than complaining about the weather, can you? That stiff upper lip, battling through valiantly in the face of adversity. It’s a classic. Everyone here’s just a miserable bastard who hates to laugh.”
Colleague Emma Bradford said: “He’s right about us being miserable bastards, but it’s not laughing we hate. It’s Martin.
“Is there any kind of old pagan tradition about sacrificing a regional sales manager to the gods in order to banish the clouds and guarantee a good summer? Because if not I’m willing to start one.”
Of course.
[The "real" story? It's been pissing down, with thunderstorms, today.]
Oh, fuck. Monday again!
As we brace ourselves for the deep, deep joys that await us in the week ahead, let's pay due homage to the greatest of photogenic icons, Miss Marilyn Monroe, shall we, whose centenary it is today!
On this Tacky Music Monday, it simply had to be this:
...and this!
Have a good week, dear reader...
Boop-boop. De-fucking-boop.
STOP PRESS:
[click any Marilyn to embiggen]
It might have been a mixed bag of cloud, strong breezes, sunny spells and a distinctly fresher feel to temperatures today, but needless to say, I spent the afternoon [as I did yesterday, watering and pottering] out in the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers - I dug out, investigated and re-potted some fuchsias whose leaves had been chewed by the dreaded vine weevils [I squished three adults, but thankfully, after washing their roots, found no grubs; they're lethal to fibrous-rooted plants], and potted up a load of ipomoea seedlings that had been languishing in tiny pods for far too long. That was quite enough for today.
With the forecast being for declining temperatures and possibly some rain in the week ahead, let us instead wallow in the lives of impossibly glamorous people, cavorting in exotic [well, Miami, anyhow] and sunny climes, shall we? - courtesy of the simply faboo Soft Tempo Lounge:
Ah, that's better.
[Music: Francesco de Masi - Diamond Bossa Nova]
The glorious heatwave that has held sway over the UK all week is having its last shout today (29C/84.2F) - from tomorrow, we're forecast to get back to near-normal temps with some showers by mid-week.
While the temperatures are still "up there", how about something totally cool, courtesy of Fred, Ginger and today's "birthday boy" Benny Goodman?!
Perfection.
Another busy - and very hot - week is almost over, and we need to get our party gear on sharpish, for (unforgivably), we missed Our Princess Kylie's birthday yesterday!
I'll send a belated gift. She won't mind. She's busy basking in her new-found adoration courtesy of that Netflix mini-series [which we'll probably never see unless it hits terrestrial TV at any time in the future]...
Obviously we'll let the lady herself get the party started in the most pertinent manner, with this guaranteed-to-get-you-moving classic - and Thank Disco It's Friday!
Many happy returns, Kylie Ann Minogue (born 28th May 1968).
Have a great weekend, dear reader!
STOP PRESS:
I thought it was too good to be true: over the past few days, all my posts have been arriving in the Blogger Reading List as normal. I thought it was (finally) fixed. But, no! This post has taken about twenty-four hours to arrive! I hate the fucking Google gnomes. They obviously aren't Kylie fans.
It's another snippets post, dear reader:
And the weather? Still hot - and with more cloud about, oppressively humid. I've even heard a rumble or two of thunder! Oo-er.
Right now, everyone should be talking about the heatwave to the exclusion of all other topics. Here’s how to intervene quickly and safely if anything else is discussed:Know the symptoms
Non-heatwave conversations involve words such as ‘Asda’, ‘smoothie’ and ‘Mandalorian’ rather than the prescribed ‘hot’, ‘boiling’ and ‘sweaty’. Once you’ve spotted the danger signs, swoop in to redirect with phrases like ‘Bloody hot, isn’t it?’Administer hot weather clichés
All heatwave should be dominated with inanities such as ‘Too hot for me!’ Interlocutors should trade clichés like ‘Ooh, I wish I could climb inside a fridge’ and ‘It’s like an oven’. Do not dwell on the actual physical sensations of being forced inside an oven, as this may leads to digression. Simply agree.
Encourage a water fixation
Be obsessed with the idea that healthy human adults will pass out and die if they attempt to travel any distance without a bottle of water. This conversation will self-replicate like a malignant cell as they start badgering others with ‘Have you got some water?’, even if the person in question is only going to the recycling bin.Quote scary numbers
It’s not a proper heatwave conversation without specific temperatures. Luckily most Britons are shaky on temperatures apart from 0 and 100°C and whatever the fuck Fahrenheit is, so feel free to throw in dramatic-sounding but made up stats like ‘It’s 93° in Bournemouth!’Don’t prevent sunburn
Sunburn will keep the conversation on-topic for several days as the victim bemoans their stupidity and everyone vows to use SPF 50 religiously. Encourage it by persuading people to join you in the glaring sun and saying things like ‘Who fancies another round?’ and ‘You look really stupid in that hat’.Watch for a conversational relapses
Idiots may try to talk about something more stimulating than the weather. Be prepared to throw any crazy nonsense out to stop them, for example ‘You know they’ve had to close Heathrow because the planes are dripping molten aluminium onto Kent?’Take inspiration from the media
The news is a great help at forcing the heatwave into conversation. Whether Guardian hysteria, Telegraph climate change denial or the BBC with its many regional reporters writing non-stories like ‘James and Donna plan to spend the afternoon in the garden’, to cite just one real example, it’s full of pointers to keep chat hot and dull.
Of course.
Hotter than Cairo?!! That's mad...
As happens every time there's a heatwave in the UK, however, my thoughts drift away to that idyllic long, hot summer of '76...
The heatwave hadn't even started yet in May 1976 - we had another month to go before the UK began to bake. The fashions, as I recall, veered towards gypsy skirts and maxi-dresses for women, cheesecloth shirts, corduroys and high-buttoned flared denims for men [before all that was cast off for the rest of the summer in favour of swimming costumes, of course], and everyone had centre-partings and flicks!
In the headlines at the time were "Gentleman" Jim Callaghan, our new Prime Minister, already facing falling Labour Party ratings; his predecessor Harold Wilson's controversial Resignation Honours list ("the Lavender List") was published, with a number of dodgy businessmen given peerages; we were celebrating the inaugural flight of Concorde to New York; former "millionaire's playground" the Lebanon was in flames in a bloody civil war; all eyes were on British tennis champion Sue Barker for Wimbledon; and "Elsie Tanner" (Pat Phoenix) returned to Coronation Street after three years.
And in our charts this week (gulp) half a century ago? Abba's Fernando was at #1, and JJ Barrie, The Wurzels, Sutherland Brothers & Quiver, Wings, Rolling Stones, Robin Sarstedt, Bellamy Brothers and Miss Ross were all present and correct...
...but still hovering around in the Top Ten was this all-time classic Disco number [and it's not even Friday!] - probably the very first [only?] time an actual porn star became an international hit-maker!
It's still a fab song, even 50 years later!
I'm not looking forward to the office today, in this heat - "air-con, what air-con?!"
The weather here in London is breaking all the records! Being in the city, rather than near the sea, and with nary a breeze, it's a bit uncomfortable to sit in for long - although we always welcome the sunshine; it's far better than our usual Bank Holiday drizzle...
On this scorching Tacky Music Bank Holiday Monday, there is only one number that will suffice:
Have a good week, dear reader.
Alongside a raft of "names" including HM The Queen Victoria, Patti LaBelle, Jim Broadbent, Lilli Palmer, Kristin Scott Thomas, Gene Anthony Ray, Bob Dylan, Alfred Molina, Jean-Paul Marat, Prince Buster, Priscilla Presley, Eric Cantona, Sir Jacob Rees-Mogg, Mai Zetterling, Jan Smuts, Rosanne Cash, Steven Norris and - opportunely, given the heatwave in London - Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit, inventor of the Fahrenheit scale...
...today marks the centenary of the birth of the fantabulosa Stanley Baxter [who only died last year]!
By way of a respite from the (officially-designated) heatwave [even I - "part-man, part-lizard", who loves basking in the sun - needed to get out of it mid-afternoon], here's another couple of classic sketches from the great man himself:
He was great, and is greatly missed!
Stanley Livingstone Baxter (24th May 1926 – 11th December 2025)
Phew! What a scorcher!
Yes indeed - exactly as the Met Office forecast - the thermometer in our extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers hit (at least) 32C/89.6F this afternoon. And to think, last week we had the heating on in the evenings... Britain, Britain, Britain.
To celebrate the arrival of summer, this:
Pretty little things, weren't they? {{cough}}
Of that song, however, it is this version I remember most fondly:
Unfortunately I can't find an actual video of Tik and Tok performing that song, but here they are in their glory, doing what they did best!
And finally, the band from whence Tik and Tok emerged - who I saw live way back in the early 1980s:
Ah, memories...
Oh, thank gawd for that - it's almost over bar the screaming!
Yet again, my first week back after a fortnight away has been torturous. Hey ho, just a few hours to go - and we have a sunny Bank Holiday weekend to look forward to [for a change].
Time indeed for a(nother) party - and, since it was Mama Cher's (gulp) 80th birthday this week, who better to kick off proceedings, as only she knows how?
Thank Disco - and Cher - It's Friday!
Enjoy the long weekend, dear reader, whatever you get up to!
Pay heed to the "Nanny Stern" of the fashion world!
There are loads more such gems over at Glamourdaze...
Drink pints and eat chips: Manchesterism in practice, explained by a Mancunian
Andy Burnham is all about Manchesterism. And, what with living in Ardwick, so am I. Let me tell you how it works here on the ground:Chips for tea
If Manchester stands for anything, it’s chips for tea. Not every night, unless you’ve the misfortune of being vegan. Every Friday, usually Mondays, Wednesdays occasionally, Sundays if you’ve not been able to shift your hangover. Also we have chips for dinner. What you’d call lunch.Pints
You can get cocktails and the like up here but you can’t really go wrong with a pint, can you? And another pint after that. Followed by whatever you like but chances are it’ll be another pint once you’re two down. If anything else seems like the thing you’re not fitting in.Rain
Not sure how Andy’s planning to shroud the whole country in the beautiful rain we get 24-7 and 365 up here, but he’ll need to if we’re going to get everyone in anoraks. You can’t beat a good downpour. Makes the cobbles glisten.Gays
We’re very big on our gays up here, but they’re proper gays. Not these online queers you get down south. To claim an alternative sexuality down Canal Street you’re still required to pass the physical examination. Also, you have to eat at McTucky’s and survive.Curry
It’s not all chips, as I detailed above. There’s also the Curry Mile, a phantasmagoria of spices and neon signs that serves everything the Indian subcontinent has to offer. Your arse’ll be smoking like there’s a flare up it.Very specific musical nostalgia
All the best bands come from Manchester if you insist on an arbitrary cut-off point of roughly 1996. Joy Division, New Order, The Smiths, the Roses and the Mondays, Oasis, music ends after that. There’s the lad who does the rapping I suppose but he’s not on Factory.Hatred for your immediate neighbours
You’re no real Manc if you don’t despise Liverpool, loathe Leeds, look down on Birmingham and consider London beneath contempt. Personally I think anyone from Salford’s a twat. Should fit right in with Britain’s post-Brexit foreign policy.Bees on shit
They only used to be on the bins, but this last 15 years we’ve adopted the bee as the symbol of our fair city and plastered them on everything. They represent Manchester because they work together for the good of all, they’re natty little bastards and if you mess with them, they’ll fuck you up. Alright?
Of course
It's another snippets post, dear reader:
Utter genius!
And the weather? Blustery, showers, still too cold for mid-May. Grim. However, the forecast looks much improved for the end of the week and the Bank Holiday Weekend!
Yes, yet again we had a marvellous "gathering of the clans" for our Eurovision Song Contest party on Saturday. We cheered, we booed, we gave points, we drank, and the buffet I prepared (with additions from guests, all of whom were allocated to bring food from one country, booze from another, and a country to support) was polished-off nicely over seven hours...
...and yet again, the UK was dealt a crushing blow as our valiant entry Look Mum No Computer [see here for his song Eins, Zwei, Drei] received the grand total of one solitary point [from the Ukraine jury], coming last! Even if his song divided opinion [even among our little gang - some of us (myself included) loved it, others loathed it], it didn't deserve to receive no points at all from audience votes.
Sigh.
Our gang, as always, pulled out all the stops with their costumes...
l-r from top row: Madam Arcati: France, me: host/UK, Lou: Lithuania, John-John: Greece, Houseboy Alex: Germany, Baby Steve: Italy, Joe: Belgium, Russ: Malta, Crog: Australia, Hils: Finland]
John-John, Eurovision fanboy as he is, prepared our scorecards and a spreadsheet(!) for capturing them once marked. That's always a fun part of the party - being bitchy about naff acts - and it's also interesting to compare our consensus with the final scores at the "real" contest.
But, before the voting stage, there was a rather faboo interval, that featured previous contestants, some of them winners of the contest, covering some of the most notable winners over the years. Fancy hearing the eternally youthful Alexander Rybak sing Sir Cliff's Congratulations? Verka Serduchka doing Puppet On A String? Goth-metallists Lordi performing Save All Your Kisses For Me? Ruslana belting Euphoria? Or the assembled talents of the aforementioned, together with more recent entrants like Erika Vikman, Kristian Kostov and Miriana Conte on Waterloo? Now's your chance:
Once the dust had settled after that, and John-John and I had filled all the points in on the spreadsheet, the Top Five scores from the Dolores Delargo Towers Jury were:
#1:
[Click here for the official video]#2:
[Click here for the official video]#3: Bulgaria [more on that in a mo]
#4:
[Click here for the official video]#5:
[Click here for the official video]The final, final official results of the combined Eurovision juries and audience scores were a bit different:
Bulgaria has not won the Eurovision Song Contest since making its debut in 2005 - but this was indeed a fabulous performance of a rather good choon, and a well-deserved winner, for a change!
[Click here for the official video]It was an utterly faboo evening, disappointments or otherwise!
Same time, same place, next year?
YOU BET!!
Eurovision round-up from the BBC
‘I haven’t had a loo break since 2009!’ The truth about Eurovision – as told by its biggest icons [The Guardian]
Nooooooooo!
Another lovely break is over and, for the first time in seventeen days, I have to open that bloody laptop and re-enter the ever-delightful world of work.
To add insult to injury, the nasty cold, dank greyness that has held sway the whole time since we returned from holiday is due to break midweek, and we'll have proper warm weather for this time of year, maybe even a heatwave - while I am in the office!
Sigh.
Never mind eh? It is a Tacky Music Monday, and, with memories of Spain fading from our minds almost as quickly as our tans - ¡Dios mío! - have I found a corker from that country, for your delectation, dear reader... Enjoy!Have a good week. I won't!!
Still coming down to earth after our fantabulousa Eurovision Song Contest party last night - I finally got to bed after 4am! - and still reeling from the UK entry's disappointing performance [more on that later, no doubt], there is only one thing that can help me now.
As two weeks of hedonism draw inevitably to a close, and I steel myself for "back-to-work-time" tomorrow - our "house band" has come up with the goods! Again...
We love Postmodern Jukebox!
It's been a busy old week, dear reader. Despite having the old "post-holiday blues" after a splendid week in Spain, and despite the shit weather, I haven't really stopped! Rearranging the garden, a bit of shopping here, a bit of sorting and tidying the house there, and there's still loads to do - but hey ho! We do indeed have "the party of the year", the "Gay World Cup", our annual Eurovision Song Contest party tomorrow - and a houseful of guests in ridiculous costumes are, as ever, expected.
So, to get the celebrations going, here's an old stalwart - the 2004 entry from Bosnia-Herzegovina, in all its campery.
Thank Disco It's Eurovision Eve Friday!
Have a good weekend, peeps, whether you're planning to watch the Euro-madness of the world's longest-running and biggest music event or not...
FOOTNOTE:
It seems the Google gnomes are still being bastards, as yesterday's post took seven hours to appear in the Reading List. I think we need to mount a coup...
FOOTNOTE UPDATE:
This post was set to publish at 9am this morning. It is now 11pm, and it's still not in the Reading List!! Is this some kind of sabotage effort by the Google gnomes to piss us all off so we end up moving to the (evidently hellish, according to some) world of Wordpress? It reminds me of the dying days of MySpace, all over again.
Sigh.
