Pay heed to the "Nanny Stern" of the fashion world!
There are loads more such gems over at Glamourdaze...
Thursday, 21 May 2026
Wednesday, 20 May 2026
"Personally I think anyone from Salford’s a twat"
Manchester [read more about this image] [click to embiggen]
Drink pints and eat chips: Manchesterism in practice, explained by a Mancunian
Andy Burnham is all about Manchesterism. And, what with living in Ardwick, so am I. Let me tell you how it works here on the ground:Chips for tea
If Manchester stands for anything, it’s chips for tea. Not every night, unless you’ve the misfortune of being vegan. Every Friday, usually Mondays, Wednesdays occasionally, Sundays if you’ve not been able to shift your hangover. Also we have chips for dinner. What you’d call lunch.Pints
You can get cocktails and the like up here but you can’t really go wrong with a pint, can you? And another pint after that. Followed by whatever you like but chances are it’ll be another pint once you’re two down. If anything else seems like the thing you’re not fitting in.Rain
Not sure how Andy’s planning to shroud the whole country in the beautiful rain we get 24-7 and 365 up here, but he’ll need to if we’re going to get everyone in anoraks. You can’t beat a good downpour. Makes the cobbles glisten.Gays
We’re very big on our gays up here, but they’re proper gays. Not these online queers you get down south. To claim an alternative sexuality down Canal Street you’re still required to pass the physical examination. Also, you have to eat at McTucky’s and survive.Curry
It’s not all chips, as I detailed above. There’s also the Curry Mile, a phantasmagoria of spices and neon signs that serves everything the Indian subcontinent has to offer. Your arse’ll be smoking like there’s a flare up it.Very specific musical nostalgia
All the best bands come from Manchester if you insist on an arbitrary cut-off point of roughly 1996. Joy Division, New Order, The Smiths, the Roses and the Mondays, Oasis, music ends after that. There’s the lad who does the rapping I suppose but he’s not on Factory.Hatred for your immediate neighbours
You’re no real Manc if you don’t despise Liverpool, loathe Leeds, look down on Birmingham and consider London beneath contempt. Personally I think anyone from Salford’s a twat. Should fit right in with Britain’s post-Brexit foreign policy.Bees on shit
They only used to be on the bins, but this last 15 years we’ve adopted the bee as the symbol of our fair city and plastered them on everything. They represent Manchester because they work together for the good of all, they’re natty little bastards and if you mess with them, they’ll fuck you up. Alright?
Of course
Tuesday, 19 May 2026
Of floral abundance, prehistoric birds, the ultimate pin-up, sweet treats and Temptation
[click any pic to embiggen]
It's another snippets post, dear reader:
- King Sniffs Beckham's Bloomers news: The world's greatest floral extravaganza, Chelsea Flower Show opened its doors today, but not before HM The King Charles and Camilla had a good old pootle around. Charles, Sir David Beckham and former Gardeners World host Alan Titchmarsh were co-sponsors/co-creators of the RHS and The King’s Foundation Curious Garden, designed by Frances Tophill. The show commands crowds of 40,000 visitors per day over five days - and tickets are currently completely sold out!
- Pseudo-scientific hoo-ha news: A US biotech company that previously claimed to have recreated a long-extinct dire wolf by gene manipulation, and claims to be working on the "de-extinction" of the woolly mammoth, has announced it has taken the first steps towards doing the same with the giant Moa bird of New Zealand. A quote from Dr Louise Johnson, an evolutionary geneticist at the University of Reading, on this announcement made me laugh out loud: "It sounds impressive but then it would, because it’s a press release. I look forward to reading more details when they’re published, but until there’s a peer-reviewed paper I might as well give expert commentary on a YouTube ad." More Jurassic Park than real science, then.
- Boop-boop-bee-doo news: In celebration of her 100th birthday on 1st June, Marilyn Monroe: A Portrait will explore the life, career and legacy of Marilyn Monroe through portraits created by some of the greatest photographers and artists of the 20th and 21st centuries. The exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery {from 4th June - 6th September 2026} will also include personal belongings such as books, scripts and clothes to enrich understanding of the woman behind the image. [NB Coincidentally, it was on this very day in 1962 that Marilyn Monroe performed her famously breathy rendition of Happy Birthday, Mr President for JFK]
- "All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening" news: We're in the midst of National Doughnut Week - and I didn't even notice... I am just going to have to buy a massive bag of Morrisons' finest jammy ones on my way to the office tomorrow, and scoff the lot!
- And finally: Sharing the day, as he does, with a host of luminaries including Victoria Wood, Grace Jones, Alma Cogan, Lady Nancy Astor, Malcolm X, Pete Townshend, Dame Nellie Melba, Ho Chi Minh, Edward de Bono, Sandy Wilson, Nancy Kwan, James Fox, Sam Smith, Joey Ramone and (erm) Pol Pot - it's Martyn Ware's 70th birthday today! Co-founder of the original Human League, British Electric Foundation and Heaven 17, it is to the latter we turn by way of a tribute [and a song that, despite being an all-time favourite, I appear never to have featured here before! How?]
Utter genius!
And the weather? Blustery, showers, still too cold for mid-May. Grim. However, the forecast looks much improved for the end of the week and the Bank Holiday Weekend!
Monday, 18 May 2026
We wuz robbed, #976 in a series
Yes, yet again we had a marvellous "gathering of the clans" for our Eurovision Song Contest party on Saturday. We cheered, we booed, we gave points, we drank, and the buffet I prepared (with additions from guests, all of whom were allocated to bring food from one country, booze from another, and a country to support) was polished-off nicely over five hours...
...and yet again, the UK was dealt a crushing blow as our valiant entry Look Mum No Computer [see here for his song Eins, Zwei, Drei] received the grand total of one solitary point [from the Ukraine jury], coming last! Even if his song divided opinion [even among our little gang - some of us (myself included) loved it, others loathed it], it didn't deserve to receive no points at all from audience votes.
Sigh.
Our gang, as always, pulled out all the stops with their costumes...
l-r from top row: Madam Arcati: France, me: host/UK, Lou: Lithuania, John-John: Greece, Houseboy Alex: Germany, Baby Steve: Italy, Joe: Belgium, Russ: Malta, Crog: Australia, Hils: Finland]
John-John, Eurovision fanboy as he is, prepared our scorecards and a spreadsheet(!) for capturing them once marked. That's always a fun part of the party - being bitchy about naff acts - and it's also interesting to compare our consensus with the final scores at the "real" contest.
But, before the voting stage, there was a rather faboo interval, that featured previous contestants, some of them winners of the contest, covering some of the most notable winners over the years. Fancy hearing the eternally youthful Alexander Rybak sing Sir Cliff's Congratulations? Verka Serduchka doing Puppet On A String? Goth-metallists Lordi performing Save All Your Kisses For Me? Ruslana belting Euphoria? Or the assembled talents of the aforementioned, together with more recent entrants like Erika Vikman, Kristian Kostov and Miriana Conte on Waterloo? Now's your chance:
Once the dust had settled after that, and John-John and I had filled all the points in on the spreadsheet, the Top Five scores from the Dolores Delargo Towers Jury were:
#1:
[Click here for the official video]#2:
[Click here for the official video]#3: Bulgaria [more on that in a mo]
#4:
[Click here for the official video]#5:
[Click here for the official video]The final, final official results of the combined Eurovision juries and audience scores were a bit different:
Bulgaria has not won the Eurovision Song Contest since making its debut in 2005 - but this was indeed a fabulous performance of a rather good choon, and a well-deserved winner, for a change!
[Click here for the official video]It was an utterly faboo evening, disappointments or otherwise!
Same time, same place, next year?
YOU BET!!
Eurovision round-up from the BBC
‘I haven’t had a loo break since 2009!’ The truth about Eurovision – as told by its biggest icons [The Guardian]
¡No quiero verte, vete!
Nooooooooo!
Another lovely break is over and, for the first time in seventeen days, I have to open that bloody laptop and re-enter the ever-delightful world of work.
To add insult to injury, the nasty cold, dank greyness that has held sway the whole time since we returned from holiday is due to break midweek, and we'll have proper warm weather for this time of year, maybe even a heatwave - while I am in the office!
Sigh.
Never mind eh? It is a Tacky Music Monday, and, with memories of Spain fading from our minds almost as quickly as our tans - ¡Dios mío! - have I found a corker from that country, for your delectation, dear reader... Enjoy!Have a good week. I won't!!
Sunday, 17 May 2026
Music and passion were always the fashion
Still coming down to earth after our fantabulousa Eurovision Song Contest party last night - I finally got to bed after 4am! - and still reeling from the UK entry's disappointing performance [more on that later, no doubt], there is only one thing that can help me now.
As two weeks of hedonism draw inevitably to a close, and I steel myself for "back-to-work-time" tomorrow - our "house band" has come up with the goods! Again...
We love Postmodern Jukebox!
Saturday, 16 May 2026
Friday, 15 May 2026
Meanwhile, in a discotheque in Bosnia-Herzegovina...
It's been a busy old week, dear reader. Despite having the old "post-holiday blues" after a splendid week in Spain, and despite the shit weather, I haven't really stopped! Rearranging the garden, a bit of shopping here, a bit of sorting and tidying the house there, and there's still loads to do - but hey ho! We do indeed have "the party of the year", the "Gay World Cup", our annual Eurovision Song Contest party tomorrow - and a houseful of guests in ridiculous costumes are, as ever, expected.
So, to get the celebrations going, here's an old stalwart - the 2004 entry from Bosnia-Herzegovina, in all its campery.
Thank Disco It's Eurovision Eve Friday!
Have a good weekend, peeps, whether you're planning to watch the Euro-madness of the world's longest-running and biggest music event or not...
FOOTNOTE:
It seems the Google gnomes are still being bastards, as yesterday's post took seven hours to appear in the Reading List. I think we need to mount a coup...
FOOTNOTE UPDATE:
This post was set to publish at 9am this morning. It is now 11pm, and it's still not in the Reading List!! Is this some kind of sabotage effort by the Google gnomes to piss us all off so we end up moving to the (evidently hellish, according to some) world of Wordpress? It reminds me of the dying days of MySpace, all over again.
Sigh.
Thursday, 14 May 2026
Of Eric, Grace, Bonnie, Bobby and Alison
Morecambe & Wise and the tribute statue to Eric in his home town Morecambe, after which he took his stage name. [click any pic to embiggen]
It's another snippets post today, dear reader:
- National treasure news: It's the centenary today of one of Britain's most beloved comedians, Eric Morecambe, "the funny half" of the prime-time-TV staples Morecambe and Wise. He was a phenomenon, and their popularity led to an endless stream of top guests, including one soon-to-be-Dame:
Morecambe & Wise - Shirley Bassey:
- Where does time go? news: Over at the superb Bitterness Personified blog, Mr Graham Russell reminds us that we're all getting old - it is 45 years since Grace Jones' magnum opus the album Nightclubbing was released! Gulp.
- It's a Heartache news: The legendary Bonnie Tyler is "seriously ill but stable" after undergoing emergency surgery in Portugal, where she has a home. Get well soon, darling!
- Ol' Mackie news: It's ninety years since the great swinger Walden Robert Cassotto, better known as Bobby Darin was born!
- And finally: The utterly faboo Miss Alison Goldfrapp was 60 years old yesterday! Another gulp.
And the weather? Up and down like a whore's drawers again, dear reader - one minute brilliant sunshine, the next black skies, rain and even thunder. Britain, Britain, Britain.
Wednesday, 13 May 2026
A Petri-dish with hot tubs and a climbing wall
All that positive hantavirus publicity got you thinking of booking a cruise? Before you set sail like a carefree, ocean-going Zack Polanski, consider these reasons not to:The passengers
You’re trapped with them. Vacuous, boring bastards in pink polo shirts with wives in their 50s made up to be in their 20s. There’s no escaping the twat who’s immensely proud of setting up the most successful tyre supply business in East Renfrewshire, not on this trip, and keelhauling is sadly outlawed.The food
Food is included in the price, or the permanent buffet of shite in the prison-like canteen is. They make it as tasteless as possible to drive you to pay for meals in the very costly restaurants. And if you want a drink? You’ll be ordering it from the barman on every single occasion you need liquid. Yes, there will be a queue.The entertainment
No entertainer worthy of the name would sign up for three months in a windowless cabin at sea. Plenty of entertainers not worthy of the name will. Given an audience of tossers who believe an Elvis impersonator who can instantly switch to Robbie Williams is astonishing, they will pander to them. Night after night. And you’ll be there because that’s where the gin is.Seasickness
Seas get rough, and once your lavishly-appointed ship runs into a storm and begins lurching around like a drunken hippo with labyrinthitis everyone will be throwing up. You’ll be confined to your cabin and timing vomiting to when the toilet isn’t slopping water all over the bathroom floor you’re kneeling on.Viruses
And that’s when the metal container you’re locked in with thousands of strangers doesn’t become an incubator for an exciting new virus, keen to work its magic in this Petri-dish with hot tubs and a climbing wall. All while many, many nautical miles from the nearest hospital. You begin to realise why ghost ships were such a frequent phenomenon.The stops on land
After what feels like months trapped at sea but has actually been three days, you get the chance to escape. Bliss. Three hours in the most touristy harbours the world has to offer, where every shop is geared to selling you expensive jewellery you won’t notice the flaws of until you’re back on board your floating prison with that twat from the tyre business again.
Of course.
Tuesday, 12 May 2026
Swinging!
Scilla peruviana (again) - on full breathtaking display [click to embiggen]
The first sunny day since we've been back, and it was inevitable that I'd spend it in the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers! We now have two sets of display shelves - and each needed a bit of propping-up to avoid them shifting on our uneven, sloping paving, so all the pots needed to come off. Then came the job of gathering up the plants again (and more), to arrange them on and around the shelving for maximum display and to disguise the edges. At each turn, the crud and litter (mainly from the bastard weed trees) had to be cleared [as did the pots/troughs of spent daffs and the dead wallflowers and tulips, to be replaced with the foxgloves, the first of which I potted-up] - and several plants needed potting on/refreshed compost as I went along. Needless to say, I'm aching...
What finer tonic could there be after all that, than a trip into the heart of Swinging Soho - courtesy of the ever-marvellous Soft Tempo Lounge?
Ah, that's better.
[Music: Polish Radio Orchestra - My Girl, Suzy; Original film: Swinging Britain in the 60s: A Psychedelic Dream (1967) - British Pathé]
Monday, 11 May 2026
Did you miss me?
Yes, we're back in miserable, dank Blighty, after a wonderful week in the blazing sunshine of Benalmadena. Great friends, great food, booze, totty-spotting, banter, booze, lots of laughs, nights out in the sleazy environs of La Nogilera in Torremolinos and booze - business as usual, really!
Our journey out was knackering: only a meagre amount of sleep, and a taxi at 2.30am to catch a flight from Gatwick at the crack'o'doom - so much so that we didn't even go out on Saturday night - and our journey home from Luton airport was marred by the fact that there were no trains to London, so we ended up on a coach transfer to some god-forsaken hole (Hitchin) to get a connection. At least that train got us straight to Finsbury Park (nearer home than Kings Cross) - but there was no Piccadilly Line either, so we had to get a cab... None of that matters, of course, when the bit in the middle was such a joy!
But - what did we miss while we were on our week of hedonism? Well, there was a massive furore over that plague ship that needed to be evacuated after several passengers died of a Medieval disease; and it was a local elections wipeout for Labour, which has put PM Kier Starmer at risk of being ousted. Then there was the glittering Met Gala (now sponsored by the Google mafia Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez), the important scientific discovery that beer is good for you as it contains vitamins, the departure of Ted Turner for that great 24-hour-television-channel-in-the-sky - and the man who pulled a car using his penis, while on fire [I'm not making this up, you know]!
We also missed celebrating the 90th birthday of Engelbert Humperdinck, the 85th of Earth, Wind and Fire co-founder Philip Bailey, the 80ths of Sir David Suchet and Thelma Houston (and what would have been the 80th of Lesley Gore), the - gulp - 65ths of Jay Aston from Bucks Fizz and George Clooney...
...and Sir David Attenborough's 100th birthday!
But did we bring anything back for your delectation, dear reader?
This being a Tacky Music Monday, it could only be Spain's answer to Dame Shirl, the late, great Señorita Rocío Jurado, at her big-haired, OTT best!
Is it good to be back?
NO!
Saturday, 2 May 2026
El ritmo de la noche, sounds of fiesta
By the time you read this, dear reader - if ever you do, given yesterday's debacle - we should (hopefully) be just about landing in Malaga for another week of hedonism...
Here's a little variation on our usual theme of Vamos a la Playa to keep you entertained:
"Normal" service will be resumed, with any luck, in a week's time...
Friday, 1 May 2026
You and me can dance so free
Our Scilla peruviana ("Portuguese Squill") is stunning. [click to embiggen]
"Hooray, hooray, the first of May! Outdoor sex begins today."
In the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers, the daffs, tulips and primulas - as well as the cherry and apple blossoms in the neighbourhood - are over. The air is now scented with the intoxicating perfume of lilacs, jasmine, rowan and the last of the wallflowers. How does one adequately encapsulate the scents of Spring? The combination is simply divine.
To add to the uplifting mood, I'm counting down to the end of a particularly gruelling week - and tomorrow we're up in the deathly hours in order to get a taxi to Gatwick Airport, to catch our flight to Spain for a week's much-needed holiday! I have never needed a holiday this much [since the last one, of course 😎]!
Let's have something suitably Spanish to get the celebrations going, shall we - and who could be more appropriate than our Patron Saint of Plastic, Charo?!
¡Gracias Disco Es viernes!
Have a great weekend, dear reader! We intend to.
STOP PRESS:
I don't know when - or even if - you will actually see this, dear reader, but I timed it to publish at 7.30am...and it is now 6.30pm and it still hasn't shown up! I hate the Google gnomes.
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