The one with the vagina lasers

Oh, wow..!! Our Glorious Leader Madonna has done it again - after all, why do a three-minute pop video for a single when you can do an entire mini-movie, with clips from several tracks, to tease the arrival of your new album?!

Featuring an all-star cast that includes Sabrina Carpenter, Benedict Cumberbatch, Kate Moss, Gwendoline Christie, Richard E. Grant, Julia Garner, Shygirl, Arca, Odessa A’zion, Archie Madekwe, Debi Mazar, Madonna’s daughter Lourdes Leon and Chelsea footballers Cole Palmer and Joao Pedro, this trailer for her much anticipated Confessions II is a cinematic work of epic proportions - and I love it!

Madonna - Confessions II - The Film

I can't wait for the album itself to arrive on 3rd July - just in time for Pride in London!

Le Groove

Fashion. Inflatable rooms and furniture?! Human kaleidoscopes?!

Let the wonders commence, and let those marvellous people at Soft Tempo Lounge take us on a trip. And it is a trip...

Soft Tempo Lounge - Le Groove '70

Ah, that's better.

[Music: Les Masques - Mais un jour...]

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FOOTNOTE - a word from our sponsor:

A.I. CONTENT vs STL PRESENTATIONS

Dear fans and friends, we have crossed the ‘A.I. Rubicon’… not to be too melodramatic.

The flood of A.I. generated videos, images, and music across YouTube and the Internet is at an unprecedented pace. Driven by algorithms that reward relentless content production these creations increasingly dominate search results, recommendations and playlists. The sheer scale of A.I. ‘retro/lounge’ content is overwhelming the authentic music, art and culture, while stripped of historical context, cultural depth and the human experience that gave it meaning.

We are not condemning those who enjoy A.I. generated content. On the contrary, there is room in the world for many forms of creativity, and the more joy people discover, the better. Yet imitation is not the same as heritage.

As original recordings, films, photographs, and artwork become harder to discover, we risk losing touch with that heritage - the musicians, performers, filmmakers, designers and countless other creative individuals whose talent, vision and dedication shaped the era we cherish.

At Soft Tempo Lounge, we remain committed to celebrating authentic recordings, genuine artistry, and the rich cultural history of the music and visual aesthetics we love. Our little corner remains a place where the REAL THING can still be found... where it remains accessible, appreciated, and connected to its true origins.

Thank you for joining us in keeping that legacy alive!

The Soft Tempo Lounge Team.

What’s schadenfreude?

The Spanish tourist board is encouraging Britons to visit this summer for a good chuckle at all those miserable because they cannot be in Dubai.

As thousands of former influencers and the wealth-adjacent are forced to spend summers in a less glamorous location due to an inconvenient war, ordinary people are invited for a cheap holiday to wallow in someone else’s misery.

Holidaymaker Jordan Gardner said: “You can see them congregating in beachfront cafes, bitching about how low the skyscrapers are or that 30 degrees isn’t hot enough.

“My girlfriend and I settled in next to them, luxuriating in their complaints that you can’t get a decent gold leaf coffee anywhere. It’s so relaxing hearing them fall silent as a Mercedes S-Class goes by, swallowing their bitter regret they’re not in it.”

Susan Traherne, owner of Inspector Morse-themed bar One More Pint said: “We get them in here, moaning none of the hotel pools are infinite, disappointed their cocktails don’t cost three figures.

“We put an influencer on stage to bitch that she couldn’t hire a gold-plated Lamborghini anywhere so how could she make content and it was harming her hustle. The regulars were in stitches. Far better than the Chubby Brown tribute we’d booked.”

Former Dubai resident Nikki Hollis said: “How can it be a holiday without a Prada store? Why has this crowd gathered? What’s schadenfreude? Is it a German watch brand? Are they up for a collab?”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

When a person's personality is personable

Among another oddly-matched list of "names" including Joan Rivers, Bonnie Tyler, Robert Preston, Tim Berners-Lee, Robert Schumann, Mick Hucknall, John Everett Millais, Nancy Sinatra, Tomaso Albinoni, Jerry Stiller, Boz Scaggs, Barbara Bush, James Darren, Colin Baker, Frank Lloyd Wright, Scott Adams, Alexis Smith, Francis Crick and - erm - Kanye West...

...it's Millie Martin's birthday today (and thankfully she's still with us, aged 92). Most famous as the regular singer on That Was The Week That Was in the Swinging 60s, she's had a remarkable career, on telly and on stage - not least as a Sondheimite, nominated for a Tony award for her part in the original cast of Side By Side By Sondheim

And, on this Tacky Music Monday, here she is as part of an estimable ensemble of West End luminaries [in Hey, Mr. Producer!, June 1998], singing one of the great man's funniest "patter songs"...

Ruthie Henshall, Maria Friedman, Lea Salonga and Millicent Martin - You Could Drive a Person Crazy

Love it!

Have a good week, dear reader.

Of po-faces (British and French), Tom of Finland and Matilda, Weller's ex, avian wanking and a Colombian diva

Clematis “General Sikorski” is scaling the heights of the downpipe outside our back door! [click to embiggen]

It's another snippets post, dear reader:

• NIMBY news: The joyless arseholes calling themselves "The Soho Society" have declared that they will oppose every new and renewed alcohol licence in the area, causing a backlash from The Mayor and local businesses. This ain't rural Surrey, dears - without pubs, Soho will be yet another dead space in the heart of London's West End!
• Puffins and porn news: The world’s largest space dedicated to illustration, and named after one of the UK's most beloved illustrators of children's books (in particular those of Roald Dahl), the Quentin Blake Centre at New River Head in Clerkenwell opened its doors on Friday. Surprisingly, amongst all the Moomins, Where the Wild Things Are, James and the Giant Peach, Matilda, Puffin Books and so forth, there's a display of Tom of Finland's graphic gay artwork! Possibly worth a visit...

• Scary how time flies: Former backing singer for Wham!, Style Council ingenue (and former Mrs Paul Weller) Dee C Lee celebrated her - gulp - 65th birthday yesterday! She only ever had one solo hit, but what a classic it is:

Dee C Lee - See The Day

• Po-faced Lefties news: Speaking of "joyless", over in France the massive gastronomic (and boozy) gatherings known as banquets géants have become quite "the thing" for young hedonists. Step forward radical left party La France Insoumise (LFI - France Unbowed), which has accused the events of being a mask for nationalism and not representative of "...modern France, which is a place rich in its diversity." Proof, if ever any were needed, that "politically correct" people simply do not understand the concept of FUN...
• Doing what comes naturally news: Birds wank, scientists have observed.
• And finally: RIP, the esteemed Colombian singer Totó la Momposina. Nope, me neither - then I looked her up, and found this!

Totó La Momposina - La Candela Viva

Perfect for a Sunday.

And the weather? All over the place! Still blustery and battering our garden, but at least the rain held off today. Until tonight...

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PS:

The demon spawn next door have been screaming all afternoon on their fucking trampoline. Thanks to a discovery by Madam Arcati, we have the perfect answer:

Don't judge a book by its cover

And so, farewell to the twinkly-eyed, devilishly handsome, suave and sophisticated Anthony Head, who died this week.

Many people associate him most, understandably, with his long-running character "Giles" in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I hardly ever watched the show.

Instead, like most Britons of a certain age, it is for this - the role that made him famous, the most romantic "soap opera" ["coffee opera", perhaps?] on telly in the 80s - that we remember him most!

Gold Blend adverts compilation [Anthony Head, Sharon Maughan]

He was so much more than that, needless to say. He had a much-lauded stage career, and as a singer released a few albums of solo work.

This, of course, was perhaps his most surprising role...

Anthony Head - Sweet Transvestite [Rocky Horror Tribute Show, 2006]

Don't get strung out...

RIP, Anthony Stewart Head (20th February 1954 – 1st June 2026)

It's all right all right all right all right

The weekend hoves into view at last!

The weather may be persistently grey, blustery and forecast for more showers - but here's something suitably uplifting to get us in a party mood...

So whip on your best flouncy pink satin jumpsuit, sing along with Gonzalez - and Thank Disco It's Friday!

Gonzalez - Haven't Stopped Dancing Yet

Have a fab one, dear reader!