I could muster up a little soft-shoe gentle sway

From WhatsOnStage:

Scissor Sisters' Jake Shears has revealed he is working on another musical, but this time he's teaming up with Elton John.

Shears, who currently stars as Greta in the LA production of Bent, wrote the musical adaptation of Tales of the City which premièred in San Francisco in 2011, and his second show will be a collaboration with the British icon.

He told The Advocate: "I'm working on my second musical now with Elton John. And it's making me realize when writing lyrics and stuff, it's giving me another perspective on writing for theatre that I never had. I feel like I'm getting a lot out of this, even just from the perspective of writing for theatre.

"I'm just learning a ton."

Sir Elton is no stranger to theatre, his previous work for the stage includes The Lion King, Billy Elliot and Aida, and it's not the first time he's collaborated with Shears either.

He co-wrote the band's 2006 hit I Don't Feel Like Dancin', which was a number one hit in eight countries.

Pushed on what the musical would be about, Shears wasn't giving anything away.

"I wish I could say! We haven't made an official announcement about it, but I'm very excited."

Exciting news, indeed!

Which provides me with a perfect excuse (as if any were needed) not only to feature the delectable Mr Shears with his top off, but also to play the Sisters' classic. Again:

Scissor Sisters - I Don't Feel Like Dancin'

Wake up in the morning with a head like ‘what ya done?’
This used to be the life but I don’t need another one.
You like cuttin’ up and carrying on, you wear them gowns.
So how come I feel so lonely when you’re up getting down?

So I'll play along when I hear that special song
I’m gonna be the one who gets it right.
You'd better move when you're swayin’ round the room
Looks like the magic's only ours tonight

But I don’t feel like dancin’
When the old Joanna plays
My heart could take a chance
But my two feet can’t find a way
You'd think that I could muster up a little soft-shoe gentle sway
But I don’t feel like dancin’
No sir, no dancin’ today.
Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Even if i find nothin' better to do
Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Why’d you pick a tune when I’m not in the mood?
Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
I'd rather be home with the one in the bed till dawn, with you.

Cities come and cities go just like the old empires
When all you do is change your clothes and call that versatile.
You got so many colours make a blind man so confused.
Then why can’t I keep up when you’re the only thing I lose?

So I’ll just pretend that I know which way to bend
And I’m gonna tell the whole world that you’re mine.
Just please understand, when I see you clap your hands
If you stick around I’m sure that I'll be fine

But I don’t feel like dancin’
When the old Joanna plays
My heart could take a chance
But my two feet can’t find a way
You'd think that I could muster up a little soft-shoe gentle sway
But I don’t feel like dancin’
No sir, no dancin’ today.
Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Even if i find nothin' better to do
Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Why’d you pick a tune when I’m not in the mood?
Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
I'd rather be home with the one in the bed till dawn, with you.

You can’t make me dance around
But your two-step makes my chest pound.
Just lay me down as you float away into the shimmering light.

A perennial favourite here at Dolores Delargo Towers.

No matter how I try you always keep me waitin'

Prospects are good, weather-wise, for the impending weekend. Just as well, as our gang is amassing by the bandstand (no musicians unfortunately) in Regent's Park tomorrow for our annual celebratory picnic for my sister's birthday. The weather here has been so autumnal lately, that we live in hope no brollies and windcheaters will be necessary...

To get ourselves in the mood for a party (as is our wont), why not start by leaping around the back-streets and record stores of outer London wearing a comfortable jumpsuit? Just like yesterday's birthday boy Phil Fearon (and Galaxy) in this amazing "no expense spent" video:

Phil Fearon & Galaxy - What Do I Do?

Thank Disco It's Friday!

Phil Fearon (born 30th July 1956)

A must-have travel guide

Going on holiday? Courtesy of the Telegraph, here's an invaluable guide to insulting the locals - without even having to move away from the bar!



1 Chin Flick
Meaning: Get lost
Used in: Belgium, France, Northern Italy, Tunisia
In France, this gesture is known as la barbe, or “the beard", the idea being that the gesturer is flashing his masculinity in much the same way that a buck will brandish his horns or a cock his comb. Simply brush the hand under the chin in a forward flicking motion. While not as aggressive as flashing one’s actual genitalia, this gesture is legal and remains effective as a mildly insulting brush-off.
Note: In Italy, this gesture simply means “No.”



2 Idiota
Meaning: Are you an idiot?
Used in: Brazil
A South American gesture indicating stupidity, this requires improv skills and an actorly flair. To perform, put your fist to your forehead while making a comical overbite. The gesture is most effective when accented with multiple grunts. When executed correctly, you will be rewarded with appreciative laughs, though not, perhaps, from your subject.



3 Moutza
Meaning: To hell with you!/I rub shit in your face!/I'm going to violate your sister!
Used in: Greece, Africa, Pakistan
The Moutza is among the most complex of hand gestures, as elaborate and ancient as a Japanese tea ceremony. Perhaps the oldest offensive hand signal still in use, the Moutza originated in ancient Byzantium, where it was the custom for criminals to be chained to a donkey and displayed on the street. There, local townsfolk might add to their humiliation by rubbing dirt, faeces, and ashes ("moutzos" in medieval Greek) into their faces. Now that the advent of modern sewage systems and anti-smoking laws means that these materials are no longer readily available, the Moutza is a symbolic stand-in. In Greece, it is often accompanied by commands including par’ta (“take these”) or órse (“there you go”). Over the years, the versatile Moutza has acquired more connotations, including a sexual one, in which the five extended fingers suggest the five sexual acts the gesturer would like to perform with the subject’s willing sister.



4 Five fathers
Meaning: You have five fathers, i.e., your mother is a whore
Used in: Arab countries, Caribbean
If you are looking to get yourself deported from Saudi Arabia – possibly amid a riot – you can do no better than the Five Fathers gesture. The most inflammatory hand gesture in the Arab world, this sign accuses the subject’s mother of having so many suitors that paternity is impossible to determine. To execute, point your left index finger at your right hand, while pursing all fingers of the right hand together. The insult is extreme and almost certain to provoke violence.



5 Corna
Meaning: Your wife is unfaithful
Used in: The Baltics, Brazil, Colombia, Italy, Portugal, Spain
Informing a friend that his wife has been unfaithful is an unhappy and delicate task. Fortunately, in many countries, it is simple to do: one simply gives him the Corna. A very old sign, the Corna dates back at least 2,500 years and represents a bull’s horns (bulls were commonly castrated to make them calmer).
Be warned that while the gesture is used throughout the world, its meaning varies greatly from country to country. Should you be on the receiving end of the gesture, before you cast out your wife, remember that your pal may simply be saying she is a fan of American college football or heavy metal bands.



6 Write-off
Meaning: I am ignoring you
Used in: Greece
The literal translation of st’arxidia mou, the phrase that accompanies this gesture, is “I write it on my testicles.” And while there may well be people who, out of a strange psychological compulsion or simply boredom, actually write on their testicles, here the threat is simply metaphorical and tells the subject you’re ignoring him. One needn’t possess testicles to use the gesture, which is employed by men and women alike.



7 Cutis
Meaning: Screw you and your whole family
Used in: India, Pakistan
Should you find yourself in India or Pakistan, wishing to insult not just your host but your host’s entire family, look no further than the Cutis gesture. Its origins are unknown, but its effect is swift and severe. Simply make a fist then flick the thumb off the front teeth while exclaiming "cutta!" (“Screw you!”). In short order, you will find himself ejected from the premises, your mission to offend thoroughly accomplished.

Taken from Rude Hand Gestures of the World, a guide to offending without words by Romana LeFevre.

An invaluable read, methinks.

There she go, there she don't

Time for a timeslip, methinks...

Our TARDIS has turned up in this week twenty years ago - a musical landscape of dubious distinction, to be sure [I mean - who remembers, or wants to remember, such "classic" artists as Robson & Jerome, Dana Dawson, Shaggy, Diana King or Method Man?].

However, 1995 was, as I recall, a faboo year for dance music - and not least among the classic "bangers" that summer was this one...

Here's Jinny (whatever happened to them?!

Jinny - Keep Warm

There she go
There she don't
You don't want to
You don't need to
Feel the warmth

Keep keep warm
Keep keep warm
Keep warm

Keep keep warm
Keep keep warm
Keep warm

Appropriate advice, given that this is supposed to be the end of July and it feels more like October...

Why don't you love me like the other boys do?

Typical - just in time to be too late for my "regular irregular" update on newer music du jour, comes the most magnificent collaboration in ages between three of our faves here at Dolores Delargo Towers!

Brought together by London-based Aussie expat DJ-ing sisters Mim and Liv Nervo (who also wrote When Love Takes Over for David Guetta and Kelly Rowland), here's the once-in-a-lifetime team of Kylie Minogue, Jake Shears and Nile Rodgers!

Nervo ft. Jake Shears, Kylie Minogue and Nile Rodgers - The Other Boys

How fab is that?!

Thirsty?

Smoke on your pipe and put that in!

Congratulations are evidently due to the ever-resilient Cher, who, at the venerable age of 69 is not only one of the "faces" of Marc Jacobs' autumn/winter 2015 collection, but also features on the cover of the latest edition of "fashionista bible" Love magazine.

On this Tacky Music Monday - to put us in a happy frame of mind as we face another week back on the treadmill of work - here is Miss Sarkisian herself in the company of another of our regulars, Charo. They're in America!

Cher and Charo - America

Have a good week, peeps...

I was never that kind of star

"There's a scary moment when you realise you're no longer the youngest person in the room. Especially if you've been a successful young person. That's followed, of course, by the realisation that you're actually the oldest person in the room."

"I still have a Gypsy sense of adventure. I don't think I have slept in the same bed for more than three or four months my whole life. I am always planting vegetables that I never get to eat and flowers that I never see flower. I have always moved around the world."

"Two phrases I hate in reference to female characters are 'strong' and 'feisty.' They really annoy me. It's the most condescending thing. You say that about a three-year-old. It infantilises women."

"Sometimes nudity is sexy. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes being clothed is more sexy than being nude."

"I was never that kind of star. I was never cast because I was gorgeous."

The utterly magnificent Dame Helen Mirren is seventy years old today - all hail!

And - just because - here she is singing Daddy Wouldn't Buy Me a Bow-Wow with Peter Sellers (in bad "Fu Manchu drag"):

Helen Mirren - Daddy Wouldn't Buy Me a Bow-Wow

Many happy returns, Dame Helen Lydia Mirren DBE (née Mironoff, born 26th July 1945)

You were always in my house

The name of Wayne Carson, who died this week, means not a lot to many people (including us here at Dolores Delargo Towers).

However, he did write this classic - here famously transformed from a mawkish ballad by Elvis into something far more entertaining by the Pet Shop Boys. Any excuse to play Always on My Mind:

Pet Shop Boys - Always On My Mind

Maybe I didn't treat you
quite as good as I should
Maybe I didn't love you
quite as often as I could
Little things I should have said and done
I never took the time
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Maybe I didn't hold you
all those lonely, lonely times
and I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine
If I made you feel second-best
I'm so sorry I was blind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died
Give me one more chance to keep you satisfied
satisfied

Little things I should have said and done
I never took the time
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died
Give me one more chance to keep you satisfied
satisfied
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
You were always in my house

It's a musical, natural high

Ah, the weekend finally hoves into view.

To get the party started, let us squeeze into our boob-tubes, grab the Elnett and...

...get H.A.P.P.Y!

With Edwin Starr leading the line-dance, who could not?

Edwin Starr - H.A.P.P.Y Radio

Have a fab one!

A word from our sponsors...

Coral Browne and Vincent Price - Citibank Credit card advert

Read my tribute to "that effing Lady" Miss Browne on the centenary of her birth.

Coral Edith Browne (23rd July 1913 – 29th May 1991)

Nouvelles chansons

Being well overdue (again) for a little feature-ette on some of the "newer" music that has caught my attention lately, let's just get right on down to it...

Opening the show is one of our fave jolly entertainers, Miss Caro Emerald - who we will have the good fortune to be seeing live in September as she is on the line-up for Proms in the Park (alongside The Jacksons, Russell Watson, The Mavericks, Danielle de Niese and Beverley Knight). Usually known for a "Swing" style, her new song is, surprisingly, a sort-of-reggae number:

Caro Emerald - Quicksand

Those eternal fans of sparkly face-wear, the Divine Knights are back with a new single that is highly critical of their native Australia for its continued refusal to add gay equality to its agenda:

Divine Knights - LIES

With a musical tribute to all things early 80s, here's a new one from "the Artist-formerly-known-as-Bimbo-Boy" Eurotix:

Eurotix - I Don't Hate You Anymore

"It's so hot in here!", she sings. It's always hotter-than-hot when the fabulous funksters Le Grind [remember I Was There, Where Were You?] get going!

Le Grind - Toute Chaude

The very lovely Little Boots is back, with a new album Working Girl and, from it, this rather marvellous new single:

Little Boots - No Pressure

Ramping up the "summer dance quotient" a little is the ever-reliable Mr Martin Solveig, here teamed up with Miami DJ duo GTA and with a most weird video indeed - he's definitely Intoxicated:

Martin Solveig & GTA - Intoxicated

And, finally - to quote Issy Sampson in the Guardian's "New Music" slot: "Just when you’ve resigned yourself to the fact that all music, for all time, will be Some Rubbish EDM ft Pitbull, Petite Meller comes along and bangs out the song of the summer." It is indeed fantabulosa!

Petite Meller - Baby Love

As always, enjoy! And please let me know what you think...

Mash up of the day...

...Maria Callas vs Marni Nixon/Audrey Hepburn?

Tito Gobbi sings My Fair Lady

Who wins?

[Thanks to my erstwhile other half Madam Arcati for finding this!]

Scrapyard bop

Another weekend has rocketed by, and here we are again - trying desperately to wake up enough to face the journey to work...

Never mind, to assist us in our quest, here's an old favourite. It's yesterday's birthday girl, the Mexican mistress of the melodramatic mega-ballad Miss Vikki Carr - here as a young beat-girl starring in her very own Scopitone video (in a scrapyard, for some odd reason), and Everything I've Got...

Vikki Carr - Everything I've Got

Have a good week, dears - and many happy returns, Señorita Vikki Carr (born Florencia Bisenta de Casillas Martinez Cardona, 19th July 1941)

Fashion flash

A century of men's (mainly American, admittedly) "fashion" in three minutes?

Featuring a hunk in underpants?

Why not, indeed!

100 Years of Fashion: Men

[source: Me Me Me TV]

I love that sound

Today has been taken up mainly by...

SHOES*!

And the adorable Tiga knows a song about that:

Tiga - Shoes

What's that sound?
I like that sound
I love that sound
It's the sound of my shoes

Indeed.

[*We went to the "Shoes - Pleasure and Pain" exhibition at the V&A today. More of that later, no doubt.]

You can tell a macho, he has a funky walk

Whew. What a week! Suddenly finding myself in a different role at work, being thrown in at the deep end by being put on a panel to interview a new candidate for another vacancy, and with all the extra stuff I now need to do, I am more relieved than ever that the weekend is looming...

Tomorrow would also have been the 65th birthday of the man with the most celebrated "mouth-muff" of modern times, Mr Glenn Hughes of the "not-gay-at-all" Village People - so all the more reason to don your favourite "gay cliché" outfit (mine's more Hermione Gingold than Hulk Hogan, actually) and start the line dance party with a rousing chorus of their classic Macho Man!



Body, wanna feel my body,
body, baby, such a thrill, my body
Body, wanna touch my body,
body, baby, it's too much, my body
Body, check it out, my body, body,
baby, don't you doubt, my body
Body, talking about my body, body,
baby, checking out my body

Listen here

Every man wants to be a macho man
To have the kind of body always in demand
Joggin' in the mornings, go man go
Workouts in the health spa, muscles grow
You can best believe me
He's a macho man
Glad he took you down with anyone you can
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey

Macho, macho man
I gotta be a macho man
Macho macho man
I gotta be a macho

Body, its so hot, my body,
Body, love to pop my body,
Body, love to please my body,
Body, don't you tease my body,
Body, you'll adore my body,
Body, come explore my body,
Body, made by God, my body,
Body, it's so good, my body

You can tell a macho, he has a funky walk
his western shirts and leather, always look so boss
Funky with his body, he's a king
call him Mister Ego, dig his chains
You can best believe that, he's a macho man
likes to be the leader, he never dresses grand

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Macho, macho man
I've got to be, a macho man
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! (all right)

Body, my body, body, wanna feel my body
Body, baby, body, body, come and thrill my body
Body, baby, body, body, love to funk, my body
Body, baby, body, body, it's so hot, my body

So hot, yeah my body
All right

Every man ought to be a macho, macho man
To live a life of freedom, machos make a stand
Have your own lifestyles and ideals
Possess the strength of confidence, that's the skill
You can best believe that he's a macho man
He's the special god son in anybody's land
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey

Macho, macho man
I gotta be a macho man
Macho macho man
I gotta be a macho

I gotta be a macho man
I gotta be a mucho mucho, macho macho man
I gotta be a macho

And he was. Apparently Mr Hughes was even buried in his leather outfit...

Glenn Martin Hughes (18th July 1950 – 4th March 2001) - but Thank Disco It's Friday!!!

Greece is the word

The nation of Greece said sorry to the European Union with a present of an enormous wooden horse.

Left outside the European Central Bank in the dead of night, the horse has now been moved into the ECB’s central lobby where it is proudly on display.

A gift tag attached to the horse, which is surprisingly light for its size and has small holes along the length of its body, suggested that it should be placed in the bank’s vaults overnight to avoid it being targeted by thieves.

Mario Draghi, President of the ECB, said: “How nice of the Greeks to acknowledge the trouble we’ve been put to on their behalf with this wonderful horse, handmade and so large it could hold a dozen double-decker buses.

“The card with it, which had a teddy bear dressed as a 'hobo' on the front, explained that Greece made us this because they don’t have enough money for a present, which brought a tear to my eye.

“However, unless they can somehow find billions overnight then austerity measures must continue.”

Oddly, Greek representatives in Brussels have hinted that they may soon be in a position to settle their debts and have puzzled the French and German banks that hold their loans by asking if there is any discount for cash.

The government of Spain has reacted angrily to the gift, accusing the Greeks of trying to bribe the ECB and redoubling their own efforts to weave a gigantic sombrero-wearing straw donkey.

The Daily Mash

Of course.

More on the Greece/EU "settlement".

Free wooden skewers, to defend yourself from your food

From the Guardian's "Inspect a Gadget" feature today:

This week’s gadget describes itself as “a new way to prepare eggs”, which is accurate in the way that chopping off your legs could be described as a new way to lose weight. Let’s start with that name, its unsettling taint of S&M, an overtone consistent with the design. In hot pink and stippled black rubber, Egg Master’s exterior screams cut-price, mail-order adult toy; its funnelled hole suggests terrible uses. And it has a traffic light on it, for some reason.

“Spray non-stick agent into container”, the box advises, which definitely gets the tummy rumbling. As instructed, I crack two whole eggs into the hot tunnel, trying to ignore the gurgling sound from within. It’s impossible to see what’s going on – but it smells bad. I squint into the dark opening. A bulging yellow sac peers back at me. Minutes pass; the smell does not. Then, without warning, a flaccid, spongy log half jumps from the machine, writhing like an alien parasite in search of a host body. It’s horrifying, like a scene from The Lair of the White Worm.

I can’t look at it, let alone eat it.

To stall, I consult the badly photocopied handbook, which suggests other delicious treats this baby is good for. Egg Master Egg Crackers, which is mixed-up crackers, egg and cheese; Egg Master Egg Dog; PB&J (peanut butter and jelly) Egg Master, and the tantalising Cuban Egg Master. It’s a dossier of culinary hate crimes (barbecue Pork Egg Master has two ingredients, “biscuit dough and three teaspoons of precooked pork”).

Nervously, I try the sulphuric, sweating egg mess before me. The taste is ... not the best. As I dry heave into the sink, I try to remember if I read about this machine in the Book of Revelation. Why is it in the world? Who created it? Maybe no one. Perhaps soon, sooner than you think, we will all bow to the Egg Master.

Redeeming features?

It’s quite space-efficient, being so dense with evil. The box contains free wooden skewers, to defend yourself from your food, and a pipe cleaner to swab the device, although no holy water to soak it in.

I don't think that's a recommendation.

Beau gosse du jour

Gratuitous photo of French totty

Errm... "un moment Timeslip"?

It's a day of big celebration across the channel - Le Quatorze Juillet, or Bastille Day.

To celebrate, our machine de temps has dropped us in the middle of the "pomp-pop" 80s - and from this very week in 1986, it doesn't get much more "pomp" than the summer hit across France of that year:

Images - Les Démons de Minuit

Ooh-la-la!

Read more about the song on Wikipedia

Managing the bejeezus

I decided not to tempt fate by mentioning it at the time, but last week I went for an interview for an "acting-up" position in work...

...and I got it! On this Tacky Music Monday, as I start day one in the new (if temporary) role - (for a change) like Captain and Tennille I Just Want To Celebrate!

Captain & Tennille - I Just Want To Celebrate

Have a good week, chums!

There ain't a thing that's wrong with any man here

It is Sunday, a day when I traditionally indulge in BBC Radio 2's all-day "Our Kind of Music"-fest - which, of course, includes songs from the musicals...

And, as Steve Hayes aka "Tired Old Queen at the Movies" is here to explain, they don't get much gayer than South Pacific!

Tired Old Queen at the Movies - South Pacific

Mitzi Gaynor, lurid Technicolour, timeless songs, hunky boys and Bali Ha'i - what more could you want?

South Pacific on IMDB

But guess who is gonna be dessert?

Another of the world's greatest on-screen presences - eternally remembered as the "exotic" leading man in Dr Zhivago and brooding co-star of Lawrence of Arabia - and unlikely sex symbol of the hirsute 60s and 70s, Omar Sharif has died aged 83.

By way of a little tribute, here is MegaBabs trying (unsuccessfully) to evade his clutches in Funny Girl...

Barbra Streisand and Omar Sharif - You Are Woman, I Am Man

You are woman, I am man
You are smaller, so I can be taller than,
You are softer to the touch,
It's a feeling I like feeling very much.
You are someone I've admired,
Still, our friendship
Leaves something to be desired.
Does it take more explanation than this?
You are woman, I am man -
Let's kiss.

Isn't this the height of nonchalance,
Furnishing a bed in restaurants?
Well, a bit of dinner never hurt,
But guess who is gonna be dessert?
Do good girls do just what mama says,
When mama's not around?
It's a feeling,
Oy vey, what a feeling.

A bit of pâté?

I drink it all day!
Should I do the things he'll tell me to?
In this pickle what would Sadie do?
In my soul I feel an inner lack,
Just suppose he wants his dinner back?

Just some dried-out toast in a sliver
On the top a ...a little chopped liver.
How many girls become a sinner
While waiting for a roast beef dinner?
Though most girls slip in ordinary ways
I got style - I do it Bordelaise.
Well at least you think I'm special -
You ordered à la carte.

It's a feeling, I like feeling very...
I feel the feeling down to my toes
Now I feel that there's a fire here,
Try that once a little higher, dear,
What a beast to ruin such a pearl!
Would a convent take a Jewish girl?

Does it take more explanation than this?

Ooo the thrills and chills going through me
If I stop him now,
Can he sue me?

You are woman.

You are man.

Let's...

RIP Omar Sharif (10th April 1932- 10th July 2015)

Don't you let nothing, nothing stand in your way

After yesterday's epic journey across chaotic Tube-strike-hit London, I am hoping for a rather more leisurely countdown to the weekend, back in the office. At least, if they're fighting to get on buses this morning, I can easily walk it.

To assist our quest to get to five o'clock without committing assault, here's the late, great duo McFadden and Whitehead - with a bevy of hairsprayed-to-oblivion ladies wearing what appear to be oversized headscarves over pedal-pusher jeans; a nice look...

Thank Disco It's Friday!

McFadden and Whitehead - Ain't No Stoppin' Us Now

An integral part of the powerhouse that was Gamble & Huff's 'Philadelphia International' label in the 1970s, McFadden and Whitehead wrote Back Stabbers for The O'Jays, Show You The Way To Go for The Jacksons, and were producers for (among others) Archie Bell & the Drells, Melba Moore, Gloria Gaynor and Freddie Jackson. This is the only song on which they actually sang that anyone remembers, however.

Have a lovely weekend, one and all!

Around the world in eighty brews

It's an adventure!

Think of me, sweeties. Today, in the middle of (yet another) Tube strike - it seems a £40k starting salary is not enough for them; boo hoo - I am wending my way from our abode in North London to a meeting in Kingston-upon-Thames, which is about as far south as one can go before London ends and the "Home Counties" begin. The Overground rail and the buses are "unaffected by industrial action". Apparently.

We shall see. I have my trusty pith helmet and native guides at the ready...

...and no doubt will need a Cup of Brown Joy by the end of it, like that "arch Victorian" adventurer, Professor Elemental!

Professor Elemental - Cup of Brown Joy

Professor Elemental website

That's why I'm in such exquisite agony

She does "Say Something Hat" days very well

Many happy returns today to the utterly magnificent Anjelica Huston who, no matter what film she is in, always steals the screen...

To celebrate, here she is as Morticia (with Gomez) camping it up in The Addams Family:

Morticia and Gomez (Anjelica Houston and Raul Julia) - Masochism Tango

[The classic song by Tom Lehrer, of course.]

Anjelica Huston (born 8th July 1951)

(Serious) thought for the day

Still here, indeed.

It is ten years since the terrorist London bombings, in which 52 people died and more than 700 were hurt.

With a bit of stimulation I'd be a great sensation

It is the 84th birthday today of one of the great survivors in the genre known as "Our Kind of Music", Miss Della Reese.

Being particularly fond here at Dolores Delargo Towers of her "cha-cha-cha" era, on this Tacky Music Monday, as we ease ourselves back into the grind of the office for yet another week of insufferable nonsense, here's the lady herself singing her classic Daddy - as interpreted in dance...

Della Reese - Daddy (Cha Cha)

Hey, Daddy! I want a diamond ring, bracelets, everything
Daddy, you oughtta get the best for me
Hey, Daddy, gee, don't I look swell in sables?
Clothes with Paris labels?
Daddy, you oughtta get the best for me

Here's 'n'amazing* revelation
With a bit of stimulation
I'd be a great sensation
I'd be your inspiration

Daddy, I want a brand new car, champagne, caviare
Daddy, you oughtta get the best for me

Hey, Daddy, I want a diamond ring, bracelets, everything

Daddy, you oughtta get the best for me
Hey, Daddy, gee, don't I look swell in sables?
Clothes with Paris labels?
Daddy, you oughtta get the best for me

Here's 'n'amazing revelation
With a bit of stimulation
I'd be a great sensation
I'd be your inspiration

Daddy, I want a brand new car, champagne, caviare
Daddy, daddy
You oughtta get the best for me, la-dah

Indeed.

PS The dancers are called Karina Smirnoff and Slavik Kryklyvyy, apparently. The first sounds like a cocktail, the second a rather admirable Scrabble score. They dance beautifully, so we'll forgive them.

Have a good week, folks!

Della Reese (born Delloreese Patricia Early, 6th July 1931)

Like a flower bending in the breeze

It's been a fine weekend (yesterday was sunny all day, today a little more patchy) but I have been pottering in the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers, battling slug damage and communing with the wrens and blackbirds, and even a hummingbird hawk moth! - so all is well with the world.

Methinks a suitably light musical interlude is in order. Here's the ever-wonderful Pink Martini and Sway, which fits the bill perfectly...

Pink Martini - Sway

I like summer...

Oh, say can you see anything about my pedigree that's phony?

What all Americans are wearing today. Apparently.

It's some kind of celebration for them 'Merkins in 'Merka [well that's how George Dubya Bush used to say it - just as he confused us over here by declaring a "War on Tourism"...*]

To celebrate with our chums over the pond - on the day that the United Kingdom wisely decided to let loose those self-declared "civilised" types to create a future that gave the world cowboys, Hollywood, the swivel chair, McDonald's, the atomic bomb, Liberace, nylon, Pia Zadora and Jay-Z - here's a wonderfully (ahem) talented troupe of artistes murdering performing the USA's second national anthem...

Yankee Doodle Dancy

Yankee Doodle, do or die, indeed.

Happy Fourth of July - here's a must-try recipe for the occasion...

[*I think he meant "Terrorism".]

The hottest news

Speaking of newspapers...

Here are a few gems I have been intrigued to read recently:







And, of course, this..!



Anyone would think it is the "silly season"...

It'll get you nowhere

Almost the weekend, sweeties - and fingers crossed there's going to be some great weather to look forward to...

After the dressing-up excesses of last week's Gay Pride, I feel we should stick to wearing something more subtle. Just some papier mâché peacock-feather shoulder-pads and an Egyptian frock... like Miss Amii Stewart!

Jealousy? There will be some. Thank Disco It's Friday!

Amii Stewart - Jealousy

Enjoy...

You'd never see a rocking chair on Saturday night telly these days

And so, farewell to one of the greatest purveyors of the musical genre known as "Easy Listening".

For a quarter of a century - all the way from the Beatles to Madonna - Val Doonican held pride of place on our prime-time Saturday night TV screens. With his comfy jumpers, his "Perry Como-esque" reassuring lightness of touch, and of course his "trademark" rocking chair, he sang classic standards and Irish comic songs with consummate ease, solo or in duets with his myriad range of guests from both sides of the pond.

Such as Rosie Clooney...

Val Doonican and Rosemary Clooney - On a Slow Boat to China

Val was incredibly popular in his day, recorded more than 50 albums, and was rarely out of the UK charts in the 60s and 70s. Among his big hits were Walk Tall, Elusive Butterfly, What Would I Be, and this one:

Val Doonican - Morning

Facts:

• A popular touring musician, his "big break" was in 1963 when he was booked to appear on Sunday Night at the Palladium - which led to the offer of his own television show.
• Val surprisingly provided Gaelic-influenced backing harmonies for Led Zeppelin's The Battle of Evermore.
• His 1967 album Val Doonican Rocks, But Gently knocked the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band off the top of the album chart.
• Apparently, Val was a member of the fictional "orchestra" backing The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band.
• He only stopped performing in 2009, after six decades in showbiz.

RIP Michael Valentine "Val" Doonican (3rd February 1927 – 1st July 2015)