Hate Mail

The Daily Mail in an alternate universe where Hitler won the war is absolutely identical, it has been confirmed.

Scientists created a window into another dimension to view the newspaper, in the hope of gaining insight into how history had developed differently, but instead it was just the Daily Mail.

Professor Helen Archer said: “At first we were appalled by the nightmarish world of deep-seated paranoia, hatred of everyone and unwavering faith in war as the solution to everything, then we realised how familiar it seemed.

“Page for page, comma for comma, not a single difference. The British monarchy are likely a puppet regime installed as a smokescreen for Nazi despots, but you’d never know it from the Mail.

“One researcher believed he’d detected a sinister undercurrent of Aryan supremacy in the depiction of the Kardashians, but it turned out he’d been looking at the one from our universe by mistake.

“We’re working on a new theory which posits that the single constant in an infinity of parallel universes is that the Daily Mail is just as vile in all of them.”

Truth hurts.

The Daily Mash

Of course.