Everybody start to swing

Hemerocallis "Fragrant Returns", lapping up the sunshine! [click to embiggen] At least that's what it's supposed to be - but it's more "buttercup" than "lemon" yellow, and if it is scented, I can't smell it!

The glorious heatwave that has held sway over the UK all week is having its last shout today (29C/84.2F) - from tomorrow, we're forecast to get back to near-normal temps with some showers by mid-week.

While the temperatures are still "up there", how about something totally cool, courtesy of Fred, Ginger and today's "birthday boy" Benny Goodman?!

Benny Goodman - Sing Sing Sing (with a swing)

Perfection.

Only you, you get me acting crazy like I do

Another busy - and very hot - week is almost over, and we need to get our party gear on sharpish, for (unforgivably), we missed Our Princess Kylie's birthday yesterday!

I'll send a belated gift. She won't mind. She's busy basking in her new-found adoration courtesy of that Netflix mini-series [which we'll probably never see unless it hits terrestrial TV at any time in the future]...

Obviously we'll let the lady herself get the party started in the most pertinent manner, with this guaranteed-to-get-you-moving classic - and Thank Disco It's Friday!

Kylie Minogue - What Do I Have To Do?

Many happy returns, Kylie Ann Minogue (born 28th May 1968).

Have a great weekend, dear reader!

---

STOP PRESS:

I thought it was too good to be true: over the past few days, all my posts have been arriving in the Blogger Reading List as normal. I thought it was (finally) fixed. But, no! This post has taken about twenty-four hours to arrive! I hate the fucking Google gnomes. They obviously aren't Kylie fans.

Of tourism, testicles, chasing cheese, Medieval wonderment, carbuncles, clubbing and a cow for President!

RIP Judith Chalmers, who for almost 30 years brought the British viewing public dreams of sunshine getaways into our living-rooms. [click any pic to embiggen]

It's another snippets post, dear reader:

• Bull mosaic’s testicles worn down by pirouetting tourists news: A floor mosaic of an anatomically detailed bull in one of Milan’s grand arcades is getting a sensitive makeover after being worn down by thousands of passers-by honouring an unusual tradition. Legend has it that grinding your heel on the bull’s testicles at the Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II guarantees you will return to the city. You can't make this kind of stuff up!
• Fondue, anyone? news: On what was officially the hottest Bank Holiday Britain has ever seen, the usual gaggle of the utterly insane chased a wheel of cheese down a perilously steep hill in Gloucestershire! The Cooper's Hill Cheese-Rolling and Wake was won by a German YouTuber. Apparently, no participants (nor the cheese) came to any harm...

• Illuminated history news: One of the earliest manuscripts to tell the tale of King Arthur and the search for the holy grail – a richly illuminated medieval tome which, for more than 700 years, has been in private hands - is headed for auction by Christies this July, where it is estimated to fetch around £1.5m to £2m ($2m to $2.7m). I do hope the British Museum or British Library wins it and puts it on display!
• Planners see sense, shock horror, news: A developer has lost a controversial bid to build a 29-storey tower near Battersea Bridge, which drew opposition from celebrities including Mick Jagger and Eric Clapton. Good. It's about time planning departments, the government and the bloody Mayor realised that nobody actually wants or needs these monstrosities popping up all over the place in London. It's bad enough that The City resembles some kind of giant glass graveyard, without our leafy boroughs getting the same treatment.
• Nightclubbing, we're nightclubbing news: The newest (free) exhibit at the V&A museum, opening this weekend, is a proper trip down memory lane for many - a new display exploring the legacy of lost music venues and club culture. Lost Music Venues will showcase over 100 objects that tell the story of around 50 British venues - including The Astoria, Rainbow Theatre and Turnmills in London, Moles in Bath, and The Hacienda in Manchester; venues that launched the careers of myriad acts such as Blur, Oasis, Kate Bush, Tears for Fears, New Order and many, many more - such as gig posters, membership cards, club photography, band merch, and subculture fashion staples.

• And finally: A rare albino buffalo has been spared from ritual sacrifice as part of Eid al-Adha celebrations in Bangladesh - because of a social media buzz that pointed out its close resemblance to Donald Trump! Bullocks, indeed!

And the weather? Still hot - and with more cloud about, oppressively humid. I've even heard a rumble or two of thunder! Oo-er.

Keep chat hot and dull

Right now, everyone should be talking about the heatwave to the exclusion of all other topics. Here’s how to intervene quickly and safely if anything else is discussed:

Know the symptoms
Non-heatwave conversations involve words such as ‘Asda’, ‘smoothie’ and ‘Mandalorian’ rather than the prescribed ‘hot’, ‘boiling’ and ‘sweaty’. Once you’ve spotted the danger signs, swoop in to redirect with phrases like ‘Bloody hot, isn’t it?’

Administer hot weather clichés
All heatwave should be dominated with inanities such as ‘Too hot for me!’ Interlocutors should trade clichés like ‘Ooh, I wish I could climb inside a fridge’ and ‘It’s like an oven’. Do not dwell on the actual physical sensations of being forced inside an oven, as this may leads to digression. Simply agree.

Encourage a water fixation
Be obsessed with the idea that healthy human adults will pass out and die if they attempt to travel any distance without a bottle of water. This conversation will self-replicate like a malignant cell as they start badgering others with ‘Have you got some water?’, even if the person in question is only going to the recycling bin.

Quote scary numbers
It’s not a proper heatwave conversation without specific temperatures. Luckily most Britons are shaky on temperatures apart from 0 and 100°C and whatever the fuck Fahrenheit is, so feel free to throw in dramatic-sounding but made up stats like ‘It’s 93° in Bournemouth!’

Don’t prevent sunburn
Sunburn will keep the conversation on-topic for several days as the victim bemoans their stupidity and everyone vows to use SPF 50 religiously. Encourage it by persuading people to join you in the glaring sun and saying things like ‘Who fancies another round?’ and ‘You look really stupid in that hat’.

Watch for a conversational relapses
Idiots may try to talk about something more stimulating than the weather. Be prepared to throw any crazy nonsense out to stop them, for example ‘You know they’ve had to close Heathrow because the planes are dripping molten aluminium onto Kent?’

Take inspiration from the media
The news is a great help at forcing the heatwave into conversation. Whether Guardian hysteria, Telegraph climate change denial or the BBC with its many regional reporters writing non-stories like ‘James and Donna plan to spend the afternoon in the garden’, to cite just one real example, it’s full of pointers to keep chat hot and dull.

The Daily Mash

Of course.

How do ya like it?

I think this city gent enjoyed it more than he let on...

Hotter than Cairo?!! That's mad...

As happens every time there's a heatwave in the UK, however, my thoughts drift away to that idyllic long, hot summer of '76...

The heatwave hadn't even started yet in May 1976 - we had another month to go before the UK began to bake. The fashions, as I recall, veered towards gypsy skirts and maxi-dresses for women, cheesecloth shirts, corduroys and high-buttoned flared denims for men [before all that was cast off for the rest of the summer in favour of swimming costumes, of course], and everyone had centre-partings and flicks!

In the headlines at the time were "Gentleman" Jim Callaghan, our new Prime Minister, already facing falling Labour Party ratings; his predecessor Harold Wilson's controversial Resignation Honours list ("the Lavender List") was published, with a number of dodgy businessmen given peerages; we were celebrating the inaugural flight of Concorde to New York; former "millionaire's playground" the Lebanon was in flames in a bloody civil war; all eyes were on British tennis champion Sue Barker for Wimbledon; and "Elsie Tanner" (Pat Phoenix) returned to Coronation Street after three years.

And in our charts this week (gulp) half a century ago? Abba's Fernando was at #1, and JJ Barrie, The Wurzels, Sutherland Brothers & Quiver, Wings, Rolling Stones, Robin Sarstedt, Bellamy Brothers and Miss Ross were all present and correct...

...but still hovering around in the Top Ten was this all-time classic Disco number [and it's not even Friday!] - probably the very first [only?] time an actual porn star became an international hit-maker!

Andrea True Connection - More, More, More

It's still a fab song, even 50 years later!

I'm not looking forward to the office today, in this heat - "air-con, what air-con?!"

But when the thermometer goes way up and the weather is sizzling hot

Our Rosa "Veilchenblau" loves it!

The weather here in London is breaking all the records! Being in the city, rather than near the sea, and with nary a breeze, it's a bit uncomfortable to sit in for long - although we always welcome the sunshine; it's far better than our usual Bank Holiday drizzle...

On this scorching Tacky Music Bank Holiday Monday, there is only one number that will suffice:

Ann Miller - Too Darn Hot [Kiss Me, Kate]

Have a good week, dear reader.

"It's a number written for me by Jo-Hann Strauss"

Alongside a raft of "names" including HM The Queen Victoria, Patti LaBelle, Jim Broadbent, Lilli Palmer, Kristin Scott Thomas, Gene Anthony Ray, Bob Dylan, Alfred Molina, Jean-Paul Marat, Prince Buster, Priscilla Presley, Eric Cantona, Sir Jacob Rees-Mogg, Mai Zetterling, Jan Smuts, Rosanne Cash, Steven Norris and - opportunely, given the heatwave in London - Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit, inventor of the Fahrenheit scale...

...today marks the centenary of the birth of the fantabulosa Stanley Baxter [who only died last year]!

By way of a respite from the (officially-designated) heatwave [even I - "part-man, part-lizard", who loves basking in the sun - needed to get out of it mid-afternoon], here's another couple of classic sketches from the great man himself:

Stanley Baxter - Miss Chop Suey

Stanley Baxter - Liberace

He was great, and is greatly missed!

Stanley Livingstone Baxter (24th May 1926 – 11th December 2025)

Convoluted connections #496 in a series - it must be the heat!

A view up my (very hot) back passage... [click to embiggen]

Phew! What a scorcher!

Yes indeed - exactly as the Met Office forecast - the thermometer in our extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers hit (at least) 32C/89.6F this afternoon. And to think, last week we had the heating on in the evenings... Britain, Britain, Britain.

To celebrate the arrival of summer, this:

Lovin' Spoonful - Summer In The City

Pretty little things, weren't they? {{cough}}

Of that song, however, it is this version I remember most fondly:

Tik and Tok - Summer In The City

Unfortunately I can't find an actual video of Tik and Tok performing that song, but here they are in their glory, doing what they did best!

Tik and Tok - Science laboratory mime [Three of a Kind, BBC 1983]

And finally, the band from whence Tik and Tok emerged - who I saw live way back in the early 1980s:

Shock - Angel Face

Ah, memories...

I can feel something inside me say

Oh, thank gawd for that - it's almost over bar the screaming!

Yet again, my first week back after a fortnight away has been torturous. Hey ho, just a few hours to go - and we have a sunny Bank Holiday weekend to look forward to [for a change].

Time indeed for a(nother) party - and, since it was Mama Cher's (gulp) 80th birthday this week, who better to kick off proceedings, as only she knows how?

Thank Disco - and Cher - It's Friday!

Cher - Believe

Enjoy the long weekend, dear reader, whatever you get up to!

What can I do to be glamorous?

Pay heed to the "Nanny Stern" of the fashion world!

1940s Fashion - a Vintage Guide to Glamour

There are loads more such gems over at Glamourdaze...

"Personally I think anyone from Salford’s a twat"

Manchester [read more about this image] [click to embiggen]

Drink pints and eat chips: Manchesterism in practice, explained by a Mancunian

Andy Burnham is all about Manchesterism. And, what with living in Ardwick, so am I. Let me tell you how it works here on the ground:

Chips for tea
If Manchester stands for anything, it’s chips for tea. Not every night, unless you’ve the misfortune of being vegan. Every Friday, usually Mondays, Wednesdays occasionally, Sundays if you’ve not been able to shift your hangover. Also we have chips for dinner. What you’d call lunch.

Pints
You can get cocktails and the like up here but you can’t really go wrong with a pint, can you? And another pint after that. Followed by whatever you like but chances are it’ll be another pint once you’re two down. If anything else seems like the thing you’re not fitting in.

Rain
Not sure how Andy’s planning to shroud the whole country in the beautiful rain we get 24-7 and 365 up here, but he’ll need to if we’re going to get everyone in anoraks. You can’t beat a good downpour. Makes the cobbles glisten.

Gays
We’re very big on our gays up here, but they’re proper gays. Not these online queers you get down south. To claim an alternative sexuality down Canal Street you’re still required to pass the physical examination. Also, you have to eat at McTucky’s and survive.

Curry
It’s not all chips, as I detailed above. There’s also the Curry Mile, a phantasmagoria of spices and neon signs that serves everything the Indian subcontinent has to offer. Your arse’ll be smoking like there’s a flare up it.

Very specific musical nostalgia
All the best bands come from Manchester if you insist on an arbitrary cut-off point of roughly 1996. Joy Division, New Order, The Smiths, the Roses and the Mondays, Oasis, music ends after that. There’s the lad who does the rapping I suppose but he’s not on Factory.

Hatred for your immediate neighbours
You’re no real Manc if you don’t despise Liverpool, loathe Leeds, look down on Birmingham and consider London beneath contempt. Personally I think anyone from Salford’s a twat. Should fit right in with Britain’s post-Brexit foreign policy.

Bees on shit
They only used to be on the bins, but this last 15 years we’ve adopted the bee as the symbol of our fair city and plastered them on everything. They represent Manchester because they work together for the good of all, they’re natty little bastards and if you mess with them, they’ll fuck you up. Alright?

The Daily Mash

Of course

[The "real" story]

Of floral abundance, prehistoric birds, the ultimate pin-up, sweet treats and Temptation

[click any pic to embiggen]

It's another snippets post, dear reader:

• King Sniffs Beckham's Bloomers news: The world's greatest floral extravaganza, Chelsea Flower Show opened its doors today, but not before HM The King Charles and Camilla had a good old pootle around. Charles, Sir David Beckham and former Gardeners World host Alan Titchmarsh were co-sponsors/co-creators of the RHS and The King’s Foundation Curious Garden, designed by Frances Tophill. The show commands crowds of 40,000 visitors per day over five days - and tickets are currently completely sold out!
• Pseudo-scientific hoo-ha news: A US biotech company that previously claimed to have recreated a long-extinct dire wolf by gene manipulation, and claims to be working on the "de-extinction" of the woolly mammoth, has announced it has taken the first steps towards doing the same with the giant Moa bird of New Zealand. A quote from Dr Louise Johnson, an evolutionary geneticist at the University of Reading, on this announcement made me laugh out loud: "It sounds impressive but then it would, because it’s a press release. I look forward to reading more details when they’re published, but until there’s a peer-reviewed paper I might as well give expert commentary on a YouTube ad." More Jurassic Park than real science, then.

• Boop-boop-bee-doo news: In celebration of her 100th birthday on 1st June, Marilyn Monroe: A Portrait will explore the life, career and legacy of Marilyn Monroe through portraits created by some of the greatest photographers and artists of the 20th and 21st centuries. The exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery {from 4th June - 6th September 2026} will also include personal belongings such as books, scripts and clothes to enrich understanding of the woman behind the image. [NB Coincidentally, it was on this very day in 1962 that Marilyn Monroe performed her famously breathy rendition of Happy Birthday, Mr President for JFK]
• "All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening" news: We're in the midst of National Doughnut Week - and I didn't even notice... I am just going to have to buy a massive bag of Morrisons' finest jammy ones on my way to the office tomorrow, and scoff the lot!
• And finally: Sharing the day, as he does, with a host of luminaries including Victoria Wood, Grace Jones, Alma Cogan, Lady Nancy Astor, Malcolm X, Pete Townshend, Dame Nellie Melba, Ho Chi Minh, Edward de Bono, Sandy Wilson, Nancy Kwan, James Fox, Sam Smith, Joey Ramone and (erm) Pol Pot - it's Martyn Ware's 70th birthday today! Co-founder of the original Human League, British Electric Foundation and Heaven 17, it is to the latter we turn by way of a tribute [and a song that, despite being an all-time favourite, I appear never to have featured here before! How?]

Heaven 17 - Temptation

Utter genius!

And the weather? Blustery, showers, still too cold for mid-May. Grim. However, the forecast looks much improved for the end of the week and the Bank Holiday Weekend!

We wuz robbed, #976 in a series

Yes, yet again we had a marvellous "gathering of the clans" for our Eurovision Song Contest party on Saturday. We cheered, we booed, we gave points, we drank, and the buffet I prepared (with additions from guests, all of whom were allocated to bring food from one country, booze from another, and a country to support) was polished-off nicely over seven hours...

...and yet again, the UK was dealt a crushing blow as our valiant entry Look Mum No Computer [see here for his song Eins, Zwei, Drei] received the grand total of one solitary point [from the Ukraine jury], coming last! Even if his song divided opinion [even among our little gang - some of us (myself included) loved it, others loathed it], it didn't deserve to receive no points at all from audience votes.

Sigh.

Our gang, as always, pulled out all the stops with their costumes...

l-r from top row: Madam Arcati: France, me: host/UK, Lou: Lithuania, John-John: Greece, Houseboy Alex: Germany, Baby Steve: Italy, Joe: Belgium, Russ: Malta, Crog: Australia, Hils: Finland]

John-John, Eurovision fanboy as he is, prepared our scorecards and a spreadsheet(!) for capturing them once marked. That's always a fun part of the party - being bitchy about naff acts - and it's also interesting to compare our consensus with the final scores at the "real" contest.

But, before the voting stage, there was a rather faboo interval, that featured previous contestants, some of them winners of the contest, covering some of the most notable winners over the years. Fancy hearing the eternally youthful Alexander Rybak sing Sir Cliff's Congratulations? Verka Serduchka doing Puppet On A String? Goth-metallists Lordi performing Save All Your Kisses For Me? Ruslana belting Euphoria? Or the assembled talents of the aforementioned, together with more recent entrants like Erika Vikman, Kristian Kostov and Miriana Conte on Waterloo? Now's your chance:

Celebration! Eurovision at 70 (Grand Final Interval, Eurovision 2026)

Once the dust had settled after that, and John-John and I had filled all the points in on the spreadsheet, the Top Five scores from the Dolores Delargo Towers Jury were:

#1:

Jonas Lovv - YA YA YA (Norway, Eurovision 2026)

[Click here for the official video]

#2:

Monroe - Regarde! (France, Eurovision 2026)

[Click here for the official video]

#3: Bulgaria [more on that in a mo]

#4:

Akylas - Ferto (Greece, Eurovision 2026)

[Click here for the official video]

#5:

Linda Lampenius x Pete Parkkonen - Liekinheitin (Finland, Eurovision 2026)

[Click here for the official video]

The final, final official results of the combined Eurovision juries and audience scores were a bit different:

Bulgaria has not won the Eurovision Song Contest since making its debut in 2005 - but this was indeed a fabulous performance of a rather good choon, and a well-deserved winner, for a change!

Dara - Bangaranga (Bulgaria, Eurovision 2026)

[Click here for the official video]

It was an utterly faboo evening, disappointments or otherwise!

Same time, same place, next year?

YOU BET!!

Eurovision round-up from the BBC

‘I haven’t had a loo break since 2009!’ The truth about Eurovision – as told by its biggest icons [The Guardian]

¡No quiero verte, vete!

Nooooooooo!

Another lovely break is over and, for the first time in seventeen days, I have to open that bloody laptop and re-enter the ever-delightful world of work.

To add insult to injury, the nasty cold, dank greyness that has held sway the whole time since we returned from holiday is due to break midweek, and we'll have proper warm weather for this time of year, maybe even a heatwave - while I am in the office!

Sigh.

Never mind eh? It is a Tacky Music Monday, and, with memories of Spain fading from our minds almost as quickly as our tans - ¡Dios mío! - have I found a corker from that country, for your delectation, dear reader... Enjoy!

Los Amaya - Vete

Have a good week. I won't!!

Music and passion were always the fashion

Still coming down to earth after our fantabulousa Eurovision Song Contest party last night - I finally got to bed after 4am! - and still reeling from the UK entry's disappointing performance [more on that later, no doubt], there is only one thing that can help me now.

As two weeks of hedonism draw inevitably to a close, and I steel myself for "back-to-work-time" tomorrow - our "house band" has come up with the goods! Again...

Postmodern Jukebox feat. Tatum Langley - Copacabana (Barry Manilow cover)

We love Postmodern Jukebox!

It's Eurovision time!

Yes, indeed - "The Gay World Cup" is upon us...

Let the madness commence!

Meanwhile, in a discotheque in Bosnia-Herzegovina...

It's been a busy old week, dear reader. Despite having the old "post-holiday blues" after a splendid week in Spain, and despite the shit weather, I haven't really stopped! Rearranging the garden, a bit of shopping here, a bit of sorting and tidying the house there, and there's still loads to do - but hey ho! We do indeed have "the party of the year", the "Gay World Cup", our annual Eurovision Song Contest party tomorrow - and a houseful of guests in ridiculous costumes are, as ever, expected.

So, to get the celebrations going, here's an old stalwart - the 2004 entry from Bosnia-Herzegovina, in all its campery.

Thank Disco It's Eurovision Eve Friday!

DEEN - In The Disco

Have a good weekend, peeps, whether you're planning to watch the Euro-madness of the world's longest-running and biggest music event or not...

---

FOOTNOTE:

It seems the Google gnomes are still being bastards, as yesterday's post took seven hours to appear in the Reading List. I think we need to mount a coup...

---

FOOTNOTE UPDATE:

This post was set to publish at 9am this morning. It is now 11pm, and it's still not in the Reading List!! Is this some kind of sabotage effort by the Google gnomes to piss us all off so we end up moving to the (evidently hellish, according to some) world of Wordpress? It reminds me of the dying days of MySpace, all over again.

Sigh.

Of Eric, Grace, Bonnie, Bobby and Alison

Morecambe & Wise and the tribute statue to Eric in his home town Morecambe, after which he took his stage name. [click any pic to embiggen]

It's another snippets post today, dear reader:

• National treasure news: It's the centenary today of one of Britain's most beloved comedians, Eric Morecambe, "the funny half" of the prime-time-TV staples Morecambe and Wise. He was a phenomenon, and their popularity led to an endless stream of top guests, including one soon-to-be-Dame:

Morecambe & Wise - Shirley Bassey:

• Where does time go? news: Over at the superb Bitterness Personified blog, Mr Graham Russell reminds us that we're all getting old - it is 45 years since Grace Jones' magnum opus the album Nightclubbing was released! Gulp.

Grace Jones - I've Seen That Face Before (Libertango)

• It's a Heartache news: The legendary Bonnie Tyler is "seriously ill but stable" after undergoing emergency surgery in Portugal, where she has a home. Get well soon, darling!

Bonnie Tyler - Holding Out For a Hero

• Ol' Mackie news: It's ninety years since the great swinger Walden Robert Cassotto, better known as Bobby Darin was born!

Bobby Darin - Mack the Knife

• And finally: The utterly faboo Miss Alison Goldfrapp was 60 years old yesterday! Another gulp.

Goldfrapp - Strict Machine

And the weather? Up and down like a whore's drawers again, dear reader - one minute brilliant sunshine, the next black skies, rain and even thunder. Britain, Britain, Britain.

A Petri-dish with hot tubs and a climbing wall

All that positive hantavirus publicity got you thinking of booking a cruise? Before you set sail like a carefree, ocean-going Zack Polanski, consider these reasons not to:

The passengers
You’re trapped with them. Vacuous, boring bastards in pink polo shirts with wives in their 50s made up to be in their 20s. There’s no escaping the twat who’s immensely proud of setting up the most successful tyre supply business in East Renfrewshire, not on this trip, and keelhauling is sadly outlawed.

The food
Food is included in the price, or the permanent buffet of shite in the prison-like canteen is. They make it as tasteless as possible to drive you to pay for meals in the very costly restaurants. And if you want a drink? You’ll be ordering it from the barman on every single occasion you need liquid. Yes, there will be a queue.

The entertainment
No entertainer worthy of the name would sign up for three months in a windowless cabin at sea. Plenty of entertainers not worthy of the name will. Given an audience of tossers who believe an Elvis impersonator who can instantly switch to Robbie Williams is astonishing, they will pander to them. Night after night. And you’ll be there because that’s where the gin is.

Seasickness
Seas get rough, and once your lavishly-appointed ship runs into a storm and begins lurching around like a drunken hippo with labyrinthitis everyone will be throwing up. You’ll be confined to your cabin and timing vomiting to when the toilet isn’t slopping water all over the bathroom floor you’re kneeling on.

Viruses
And that’s when the metal container you’re locked in with thousands of strangers doesn’t become an incubator for an exciting new virus, keen to work its magic in this Petri-dish with hot tubs and a climbing wall. All while many, many nautical miles from the nearest hospital. You begin to realise why ghost ships were such a frequent phenomenon.

The stops on land
After what feels like months trapped at sea but has actually been three days, you get the chance to escape. Bliss. Three hours in the most touristy harbours the world has to offer, where every shop is geared to selling you expensive jewellery you won’t notice the flaws of until you’re back on board your floating prison with that twat from the tyre business again.

The Daily Mash

Of course.

Swinging!

Scilla peruviana (again) - on full breathtaking display [click to embiggen]

The first sunny day since we've been back, and it was inevitable that I'd spend it in the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers! We now have two sets of display shelves - and each needed a bit of propping-up to avoid them shifting on our uneven, sloping paving, so all the pots needed to come off. Then came the job of gathering up the plants again (and more), to arrange them on and around the shelving for maximum display and to disguise the edges. At each turn, the crud and litter (mainly from the bastard weed trees) had to be cleared [as did the pots/troughs of spent daffs and the dead wallflowers and tulips, to be replaced with the foxgloves, the first of which I potted-up] - and several plants needed potting on/refreshed compost as I went along. Needless to say, I'm aching...

What finer tonic could there be after all that, than a trip into the heart of Swinging Soho - courtesy of the ever-marvellous Soft Tempo Lounge?

Soft Tempo Lounge - London Chic '67

Ah, that's better.

[Music: Polish Radio Orchestra - My Girl, Suzy; Original film: Swinging Britain in the 60s: A Psychedelic Dream (1967) - British Pathé]