The Prom, Prom, Prom! Where the brass bands play, "Tiddely-om-pom-pom!"

That great herald of the end of the Summer Season, the Last Night of the Proms is upon us tonight!

A highlight of our own "Social Calendar" every year, in the absence of the fab party Proms in the Park (RIP), Madam Arcati and I are settling in at home - with enough buffet food to feed the entire battalion of Grenadier Guards - flags at the ready, to sing along to all the old favourite patriotic songs that compse the finale.

Of course, there's lots to look forward to in the full concert, including a tribute to Dolly Parton(!), and also on the bill, this [here sung by Eric Herrero; our tenor for the evening will be Nicky Spence]:

Eric Herrero - The Prince's aria (Vidino divná, přesladká) [Dvořák - Rusalka]

I can't wait!

Sho’nuff!

I'd just about had enough of this bloody week at work by about 11am today, but it just got busier.... I am so glad to see the back of it!

As the weekend beckons we need something to get us into the party mode, and what could be more appropriate than one of those - ahem - fabulously-choreographed routines by the 1970s "national treasures" Legs & Co? Here they are, flapping around in their peignoirs (for some reason), to an irresistible dance classic.

Thank Disco It's Friday!

Legs & Co - Frantique - Strut Your Funky Stuff

Get up and stand up
Strut your funky stuff, sho’nuff
Get up and stand up
Strut your funky stuff, sho’nuff
Get up and stand up
Strut your funky stuff, sho’nuff
Get up and stand up

How you gonna be the attraction
If you wanna stick to the wall
Invite yourself a piece of the action
You got to get up to that and ring the bell
You got to know we got to go
Get up and dance down the...
(Here we go, here we go)

Get up and stand up
Strut your funky stuff, sho’nuff
Get up and stand up

What you doing there in the corner
Sitting by yourself in the dark
You don't really wanna be a loner
Come on now get up and dance
You got ants in your pants
Can't sit still the beat'll get your feet
The record spins to the funky disco beat
(That's right, that's right)

Get up and stand up
Strut your funky stuff, sho’nuff
Get up and stand up
Strut your funky stuff, sho’nuff
Get up and stand up
Strut your funky stuff, sho’nuff
Get up and stand up

Have a good weekend, dear reader!

[If you ever see this, of course, given that the bastard gnomes at Google have still not fixed the Blogger Reading List. It hasn't updated at all in over 48 hours! I despair.]

Food, Glorious Food?

Dinner is served!

Yum.

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FOOTNOTE:

It is now more than twenty-four hours since I published yesterday's post - and it still hasn't shown up in the Reading List!

If this carries on, I'll be wearing Sundar Pichai's bollocks for earrings!!

Of ballet, Trekkies, Old Masters, Morph, Freddie, a boa and a TV legend departs

RIP, choreographer Sir Richard Alston - his boys always could get their legs up higher, and wider, than anyone else!

It's another snippets post, dear reader:

• To boldly go news: Happy birthday, Star Trek - which celebrated its 60th anniversary yesterday, with a series of events worldwide. Remarkably, our very own "super-fan" on Blogger Mr DeVice didn't even emerge from the wilderness in which he's been languishing since August to celebrate it!

• I still reckon that's Murray Melvin! news: In a groundbreaking new exhibition at the National Gallery, all nine portraits by the Northern Renaissance master Jan Van Eyck will be on display together for the very first time, including his famous "Arnolfini portrait" (above [click to embiggen]). Van Eyck: The Portraits runs at the National Gallery from 21st November 2026 to 11th April 2027.
• Your very own Gromit news: Action figures and original models of some of the world's favourite stop-motion on-screen characters from the creative geniuses at Aardman Animations, such as "Morph", "Wallace and Gromit" and "Sean the Sheep", will be going under the hammer in an online auction to mark the studio's 50th anniversary, ending on 24 September 2026. Get your bid in quick for "Feathers McGraw"..!
• Ready, Freddie! news: Eight of Freddie Mercury’s most memorable stage costumes are going on display at the V&A this autumn to mark his 80th anniversary year, including the “Mercury Wing” catsuit he wore in the Bohemian Rhapsody video, and the crown and cloak he wore on tour with Queen in the 80s. The Freddie Mercury: Splendid Things trail will include displays across the whole museum, and opens on 24th October 2026.
• Hissing Sid Siegfried? news: There was an major audition held at the New York Metropolitan Opera last weekend - for the role of a snake! A boa constrictor named Princess won. Not John Hamm...

And the weather? Erratic. Yesterday, it lashed it down all day, then brightened up early evening. Today, it's been lovely (on and off) again - but much cooler than it was on the weekend.

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• And finally: We here at Dolores Delargo Towers are distraught at the announcement that Monty Don is leaving Gardeners World at the end of the current series - after being at the helm [with a hiatus for ill-health] since 2003!

  No matter who takes over when he retires, things will never be the same again...

Monty Don reveals the five plants ANYONE can propagate

So soothing. So brilliant. So irreplaceable.

Choices, choices

Speculation as to where Harry and Meghan will make their UK home is at fever pitch. Will it be the Cotswolds, or the north-eastern seaside town of Redcar? We assess:

The Cotswolds: home to the wealthy
Aristocrats, Kate Moss and hedge-fund managers would be the Sussexes’ neighbours. To such people the loss of their HRH titles or owing £34 million to the Daily Mail’s lawyers are a mark of shame, gossiped about at every party. They would be a laughing stock.

Redcar: home to the unemployed
By contrast, the social scene in Redcar would welcome the couple with open arms, with peers accustomed to loss of status, losing court cases, and being estranged from high-and-mighty family who think they’re so much fucking better than you. They would fit right in.

The Cotswolds: handy for London
With the capital just a short journey, the Cotswolds are close to Harry’s family and their many palatial homes. Awkward, given that Harry is persona non grata with all of them and will not be invited to meals. The froideur will be felt all the way down the M4.

Redcar: handy for Middlesbrough
In cheerful no-frills Redcar, Wills and Kate would feel as blessedly distant as they did back in California. Dad wouldn’t drop by unexpectedly for stilted conversation, and there’s always Middlesbrough should Meg need to stock up on Primark clothing for the kids.

The Cotswolds: honey-coloured stone
The warm, golden Jurassic limestone used to build the homes in the Cotswolds gives the villages their characteristic glow. Which would only remind the couple of the Montecito home they had to leave behind, and make them sad.

Redcar: soot-blackened slate
Up in Redcar there are no colours. Looking out onto the North Sea from a town still stained by the pollution of the steel industry is the real Britain: ugly, rainswept, and bleak. This is the Britain Harry missed, not some moneyed enclave with a branch of Soho House.

Verdict: Redcar
Harry and Meghan are certain to choose Redcar, with its high deprivation, child poverty and retirees suffering long-term industrial illnesses, as their new home. Even the Daily Mail will not send journalists up there, and they can afford a whole row of terraces.

The Daily Mash

Of course.

Let's put on the show right here!

My motto for today!

Oh, yuk. After a lovely weekend - the Schiaparelli exhibition and a day in the sunny garden - we're back to the old routine again. Sigh.

Among another raft of fellow celebrants including Queen Elizabeth I, Chrissie Hynde, Gloria Gaynor, Laura Ashley, Buddy Holly (who would have been 90 today), Dame Edith Sitwell, Diane Warren (70 today), Angela Gheorghiu, Elia Kazan, John Paul Getty Jr., Anthony Quayle, Julie Kavner, Toby Jones (who is 60), Jermaine Stewart, Sonny Rollins, Leonard Cheshire, Dario Argento, Peter Lawford and - erm - disgraced former MCU actor Jonathan Majors...

...the lovely Michael Feinstein blows out 70 men candles on his cake today!

Well-known as he is for preserving and promoting the archives of the "Great American Songbook" - as this is a Tacky Music Monday, I thought I'd share this rather fab and funny moment instead:

Michael Feinstein - I Love A Film Cliché

Have a good week, dear reader.

Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin'

Always wear a hat in sunny weather!

After a fantabulosa trip to see the V&A's latest spectacular Schiaparelli: Fashion Becomes Art yesterday, today was a far more sedate affair.

• See my post about the exhibition over at the Dolores Delargo Museum of Camp

I didn't surface until well after midday. However, being a beautiful sunny late summer's day, after a few cups of coffee to wake up, the rest of the day was spent out in the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers. Madam Arcati had begun the inevitable round of watering and feeding, and I spent a few hours doing the rest. It's amazing how much growth is still in our plants, given that all the talk lately is about Autumn, the shops are full of scarves and padded jackets, and Primark has even got its fucking Hallowe'en tat out on the shelves!

It hit 28C/82F here this afternoon, ffs!

To suit the laid-back mood, here's something a little different from our "house band" [which could also serve as a further "tribute" to Mr Barry Gibb]:

Postmodern Jukebox ft. Wild Bill - Stayin' Alive (Bee Gees Ragtime Rockabilly Swing cover)

Yee-haa!

Fa-fa-fashion

The Madam and I are off to see the much-vaunted Schiaparelli: Fashion Becomes Art exhibition at the V&A this afternoon!

I fully expect to return wearing a lobster, a hat in the shape of a shoe, or "a thing that isn't a thing"...

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STOP PRESS:

Before I left this morning, I was trying to find a particular verse from which that final line came, to no avail - not only is that new "A.I. Google" really annoying, it's also a crock of shit that doesn't actually find anything you're looking for.

I located it in a book (remember them?!) called Camp: The Lie That Tells The Truth:

On the pale yellow sands
There's a pair of clasped hands
And and eye-ball entangled in string,
And a piece of raw meat
And a bicycle seat
And a thing that isn't a thing.
- William Plomer - "A recipe for a Surrealist picture"

Keep on keepin' on

Nearly there... Another tedious week is behind us (and this was a short one because of the Bank Holiday Monday, but doesn't feel like it).

Without further ado, let's get ourselves into the party mood for the weekend with birthday boy Merald Woodlow "Bubba" Knight Jr. and his chums, a-twirling and a-gyrating in support of his baby sister Gladys - and Thank Disco It's Friday!

Gladys Knight and the Pips - I've Got to Use My Imagination

All my life, all I ever wanted was to be a Pip.

Have a great weekend, folks!

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FOOTNOTE:

There is a major issue today - to add to all its other woes - with the ability to post comments on Blogger blogs. No-one can get any further than the "Publishing.." message! I have seen forums where this has been discussed, and it appears to be worldwide.

The bloody Google gnomes need to pull ther fingers out and fix it quickly!

But they won't, of course...

Of diamonds, New Romantics, weird science, embroidery, octopi, a feminist icon and Pop Looks Bach

It's another snippets post, dear reader:

• It wasn't me, Guv! news: Thieves have stolen a stunning 200-carat platinum necklace [above] encrusted with 673 diamonds, that once belonged to Queen Consort Nazli of Egypt, from a museum in Vienna. I could wear that!
• "No-no-Notorious" news: Royal Mail will issue a special set of stamps celebrating Duran Duran on 17th September. The collection features the band at different stages of their career, tracing their progression from early New Romantic origins to global chart success. I always fancied licking John Taylor, back in the day...
• How old is a kiss, and a splashback-free urinal news: This year's winners of the "coveted" (satirical) Ig Noble Prize have been announced, and winning research papers' subjects include Neanderthals kissing, a new design of urinal, the aerodynamics of nose blowing, and evidence that those in higher social classes are more likely to steal sweets from a child. So much more fun than the "real" Nobels...

[click any pic to embiggen]

• It's actually an embroidery! news: The much-hyped loan of the Bayeux Tapestry from France to the British Museum is finally here - its unveiling in situ was conducted by HM The King, the new PM and various notables as well as the press last night - and doors open to the first raft of ticket-holders tomorrow. Thanks to the brother-in-law The History Boy, we have ours booked (for December) - and it is already predicted to be the most popular exhibition in recent British history!
• RIP Gloria Steinem, doyenne of the feminist movement, who has burned her very last bra and departed, aged 92.
• Nature's way news: Italy has recruited an army of octopus into its waters to try and control the invasive blue crab, and Spain is thinking of following in its footsteps ["tentacle-steps", perhaps?]. Expect a glut of Pulpo Frito on the Costas once the octopus start to get out of control..!
• And finally: Farewell to the long-running BBC TV show Ski Sunday - and, in particular, to its absolutely unforgettable theme music!

Ski Sunday theme ["Pop Looks Bach"]

And the weather? "Up and down like a whore's drawers" again...

...We've had some heavy showers this week. Yesterday felt quite chilly. Today - despite the strong gusts - it was warm and quite humid. Unless we get an "Indian Summer", however, sadly I think it's "goodbye to all that". The "Season of Death" is just around the corner...

Never seen a a marrow quite as big as that

David Beckham is apparently an avid gardener and keeper of chickens. He explains how to produce prize courgettes by digging in manure yourself, like he definitely does:

Learn the correct techniques
Want to grow the perfect carrot? Then don’t skimp on raw materials. Waitrose does some terrific ones. Pop them in soil back at your allotment, unearth them and they’re perfect for Instagram. Don’t make the mistake of ‘planting seeds’ and ‘nurturing’ them – the Class of 92 was a one-off thing.

Employ an allotment PA
Yeah, an allotment that’s south-facing with good quality soil is useful, but it’s crucial to employ a full-time personal gardening assistant. They’ll do the physical work – which is all of it – or source local gardeners who can pitch in when you’re in Los Angeles. Ensure they’re not too attractive. I speak from experience.

Pick crops that will flourish on social media
Avoid things like runner beans, because even if they grow well and taste great they’re boring and won’t get clicks. Instead opt for vegetables that might grow into rude shapes. I’d recommend courgettes or pumpkins, which can end up as hilariously misshapen as Paul Scholes’s dong. As you become more skilled, try to raise radishes with vaginas.

Cultivate a bullshit narrative
To maximise the publicity you’ll need an angle the media can run with, such as ‘Victoria shocked by size of David’s marrow’. Obviously she wasn’t because she’s seen a marrow before and is aware of their size, but regular press coverage keeps the brand healthy.

Preserve surplus produce
Even tending a small allotment can result in a glut of fruit or vegetables you’re unable to eat, so buy glass jars and read up on pickling techniques to avoid wasting them. And having a stock of nasty vinegary vegetables in jars means you’ve always got gifts for those you don’t like, such as your son and his heiress wife.

Put the time in
People often ask me how I find time to garden when I’m watching World Cup games or at Wimbledon, and the truth is I don’t. But I remain enough of an icon to get my face in magazines worldwide even for pretending I do, and for me that sweet, homegrown publicity makes it all worthwhile.

The Daily Mash

Of course.

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STOP PRESS, 13.25pm

The bloody Google gnomes are at it again! Neither yesterday's post (from just after 1pm), nor this one (from 7.40am) have shown up in the Blogger Reading List yet.

Bastards.

Alive or Illusion?

Sharing the day with another panoply of notables such as Gloria Estefan, Lily Tomlin, Yvonne De Carlo, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Johann Pachelbel, Archie Bell, Violet Carson, Steve Pemberton, Engelbert Humperdinck [the composer, not the singer], Leonard Slatkin, Rocky Marciano, Art Pepper, Marvel Comics illustrator Gene Colan [whose centenary it is today], Bruce Foxton of The Jam, Cecil Parkinson, Babydaddy of Scissor Sisters [50 today], Ruud Gullit, Conway Twitty, Boxcar Willie, Craig McLachlan and Zendaya...

...it's the "last of the Bee Gees" Mr Barry Gibb's - gulp! - 80th birthday today!

We know the Brothers Gibb were utter musical geniuses, not only for their long career of mega-hits, including the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack, Tragedy, You Win Again and much much more besides, but also their work with other hit-makers, from Miss Warwick to MegaBabs to Dolly to to Miss Ross.

I wonder what they would make of this..?

Bee Gees vs Imagination - Alive or Illusion (KillerCut Mashup)

I love it!