Let your bed go unmade; your soufflé unsouffléd

On this, what would have been the 98th birthday of the tremendously-talented Alan Jay Lerner, I feel we should pay a little visit to one of his later shows (after his writing partnership with Frederick Loewe ended with the latter's retirement), On A Clear Day You Can See Forever.

Despite being somewhat overshadowed by his previous triumphs such as Brigadoon, Gigi, Camelot and, of course, My Fair Lady, this collaboration with Burton Lane certainly came up with some enduring standards, including this one.

In keeping with the tradition of "Sunday Music", here's the lovely Robert Goulet and Come Back to Me:

Robert Goulet - Come Back To Me [from On A Clear Day You Can See Forever]

Hear my voice where you are
Take a train, steal a car
Hop a freight, grab a star, come back to me
Catch a plane, catch a breeze
On your hands, on your knees
Swim or fly, only please, come back to me
On a mule, in a jet
With your hair in a net
In a towel when you're wet
I don't care, this is where you should be

From the hills, from the shore
Ride the wind to my door
Turn the high with the dust
Break the law if you must
Move the world, only just come back to me

Blast you high, hear me call
Must I fight City Hall
Here and now, damn it all, come back to me
What on Earth must I do
Scream and yell till I'm blue
Curse your soul when will you come back to me?
Have you gone to the moon or the corner saloon
At your rack, at your room
Mademoiselle, where in Hell can you be?

Leave a sign on your door
Out to lunch ever more
In a Royce or a van, wrapped in mink or Saran
Anyway that you can, come back to me
Hear my voice through the dim
Feel the waves on your skin
Like a call from within, come back to me
Leave behind all your own
Tell your flowers you will phone
Let your dog walk alone, come back to me

Let your tub overflow
If a date waits below
Let him wait for Godot
By the rail,
Come by mail, COD
Par avion, par bateau
Dans une vielle, deux chevaux

Come by steam, come by gas
Call for free on a pass
On the drags and the glass, come back to me
Leave your bills all unpaid
Let your bed go unmade
Your soufflé unsouffléd, come back to me
Come by sail, come by freight
In a box or a tray, keep your head on the plate
I don't care this is where you should be

Come in pain or in joy
As a girl, as a boy
In a bag or a trunk
On a horse or a drunk
In the flora or faun, come back to me
Come back to me, come back...

Fabulous!

Alan Jay Lerner (31st August 1918 – 14th June 1986)

Read my previous tribute to Mr Lerner

Totty of the Day

Heavens be praised! David Gandy has announced he has designed a new range of underwear.





As if we ever needed any excuse for some gratuitous shots of the gorgeous supermodel in his scanties...

...or to play a most appropriate song for the occasion, courtesy of Club 69:

Club 69 - Let Me Be Your Underwear

Read today's interview with Mr Gandy in The Telegraph.

We're bumpin' booties, havin' us a ball, y'all

Hallelujah! We have hot water again at Dolores Delargo Towers!

To celebrate this overdue luxury - and of course the end of another gruelling week - let us get some glittery jackets out of the back of the wardrobe and wiggle our tushes along with the ever-jolly Peaches & Herb. Shake Your Groove Thing? You bet!

Thank Disco It's Friday...

Peaches & Herb - Shake Your Groove Thing

Have a squeaky-clean weekend, y'all...

Peaches and Herb on Wikipedia

A bargain is a bargain and begorrah we were thrilled

[photo: Andy Hanselman]

Ryanair has introduced ‘business class’ by selling tickets for proper airlines.

The budget carrier said its new level of service would include a free drink, landing within half a day’s drive of your chosen destination and being on a British Airways plane.

The company revealed that for a £70 fee it will register your interest and then let BA, Air France and Lufthansa know that you are on your way.

Plane traveller Martin Bishop said: “Finally I can combine Ryanair’s low prices with British Airways’ levels of service simply by paying significantly more money.”

A Ryanair spokesman added: “This means we now fly to more destinations than all of the other airlines that have ever existed.

“Celebratory trumpet noise.”

The Daily Mash.

Of course.

[The "real" story in The Telegraph]

Here's the only song I could possibly play to greet such news, courtesy of the ever-lovely Fascinating Aïda:

Fascinating Aida - Cheap Flights

We received an invitation in the post one Monday morn'
To attend our cousin's wedding in the town where we were born
The do was back in Kerry; so wishing to be frugal
We trawled the 'net to find some decent travel deals on Google

Cheap flights, cheap flights, cheap as they can be,
Bedad we found an airline selling flights for 50p.
(Diddly aiden daidin daidin dai)

Well we clicked on to the website and were mightily surprised,
To find the actual cost wasn't quite as advertised,
We'd forgotten airport taxes, had also to be billed,
But a bargain is a bargain and begorrah we were thrilled.

Cheap flights, cheap flights, Stansted to Tralee,
It isn't every airline offers flights for 50p,
(Diddly aiden daidin daidin dai (x3))

After studying the website we decided it was best,
To pay priority boarding so that we'd sit three abreast,
(Three abreast, that's the best)
And of course we'd all have luggage, so that's an extra cost,
And then we paid insurance in case our cases might get lost.

Our cheap flights, cheap flights, it's obvious to see,
There must be extra charges when the flights are 50p,
(Minya, minya, minya, key change)

At last the flight was booked, with all of the additions,
We'd read the reams of small print, of terms and conditions;
And then picked up the charge for using VISA which was drastic,
'Cause how the feck are you supposed to pay if not with fecking plastic?

Cheap flights, cheap flights, we paid the fecking fee,
Because by now we were committed to the flights for 50p,
(Diddly aiden daidin daidin dai (3))
(Someone's being diddled and it's us, so it is)

(Ochone, ochone, aah . . . )
Now I don't know if you've tried looking at Stansted on a map,
But checking in at 5am is a fecking load of crap,
It's packed if you try to catch a train or underground,
So a taxi to the arse end o' the world was more than 100 pounds,

Cheap flights, cheap flights, we should have gone by sea,
There's no such fecking thing as a fecking flight for 50p,
(Feckity feckity feckity feckity feck, feck, feck (x2))

Then at last we reached the airport where we had to pay a fine,
The fecking feckers charged us 'cause we hadn't checked in online,
And finally aboard the flight there's an extra class of tax,
'Cause the fecking fecking feckers fecking charge to use the jack,

Cheap flights, cheap flights, I think you must agree,
That only fecking gobshites think there's flights for 50p,
(Feck, shite, feck, shite, feck, shite, arse)
(Feck, shite, shite, feck, feck, shite, arse)
(Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feck)
(Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckty Feck)

Sad verse
Well finally we landed and tried to shuffle up the aisle
But the steward sent us down to the back with never a hint of a smile
And as we heard his announcement our hearts gave a terrible thump
If you haven't prepaid to use the steps you'll have to feckin jump

Cheap flights, cheap flights you're harking on to me
you're an eejit if you think a fecking flight is 50p
FECK!

Fascinating Aïda

The Pres

On this day 110 years ago, a certain Lester Young was born.

Not the most familiar of names, it's true - but, as an integral part of Count Basie's orchestra in the 30s and 40s, and as the accompanist of choice for such luminaries as Billie Holiday and Nat King Cole, he was responsible for securing the central role of the saxophone in the "sound" of modern Jazz and Blues, and was an inspiration for generations of sax players to come.

He was, to coin a hoary old phrase, simply a musical genius.

Here's a sublime sample of his talents:

Lester Young - Jammin' the Blues

So utterly cool. So modern!

Facts about Mr Young:

• Allegedly he was (appropriately) the first to popularise the use of the term "cool" to mean something fashionable.
• Miss Holiday nicknamed him "Pres", short for President.
• Constantly struggling with his addictions, he was dishonourably discharged from the army for possession of alcohol and marijuana.
• He died far too young, at just 49, of alcohol-related causes - just four months before Billie Holiday, who went the same way.
• Among the many revered musicians who cited Lester as an influence were Charles Mingus (who wrote a song in his honour when he died), Stan Getz, Gerry Mulligan, Charlie Parker, Al Cohn and Dexter Gordon.

Lester Willis Young (27th August 1909 – 15th March 1959)

Something's come along and it's burst our bubble

Groan. Back to work time after a long weekend - it's raining and miserable, we still have no hot water, and I just want to be in bed.

Never mind, let's leap into the TARDIS and head back twenty years ago this week (gulp!), for a sassy little number from a couple of one-hit-wonders. It's Shampoo (whatever happened to them?) and Trouble:

Shampoo - Trouble

"Book us a ticket on the next Space Shuttle!"

Indeed.

Shampoo on Wikipedia

Taxi!

Darlings, it is a Bank Holiday in the UK, and we all know what that means - rain, rain, and more rain.

Hey ho, we need to dream on this Tacky Music Monday of sunshine, jolly music and energetic safety gays!

I think we'll let Mr Herb Alpert and his Tijuana Brass take us on that trip, with this fabulously camp Scopitone for their classic Tijuana Taxi:

Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass - Tijuana Taxi

Have a great week!

A Singer's Singer

We spent a very amenable evening at our friend Al's last night. Ostensibly just to take up his very kind offer of a hot shower while our boiler remains kaput, it ended up as a marvellous musical evening, including gems from Bea Lillie, Licia Albanese, Jessie Matthews, Stritchy, Gracie Fields, Sondheim, Leyton and Johnson, Hutch - and Mabel Mercer!

"Mabel Mercer taught me everything I know" - Frank Sinatra

As it is a Sunday - traditional "home" for this kind of music, I thought I'd gift to you, dear chums, a mere soupçon of the great cabaret singer's repertoire (both from her later years).

How about a complete (40 min) soiree with Mabel, Bobby Short and friends?

Mabel Mercer, Bobby Short and Friends

Or - somewhat shorter - a clip from an evening with Miss Mercer at Cleo's in New York?

Mabel Mercer's mystery song

[And if anyone can name the song in that second clip, I would be very grateful...]

Sublime.

Mabel Mercer (3rd February 1900 – 20th April 1984)

PS Surprisingly, for an archetypal American song stylist, she was British.

Life is peaceful there, there in the open air

On 1st January 1951, at 11.45am, the nation first heard the words “The Archers. An everyday story of countryfolk”.

The programme has run every weekday on BBC radio without break since then.

The eternally popular soap based in the fictional village of "Ambridge" has seen its share of love, lust, disaster, gossip and potato blight since then, but lo and behold - today we find that something very strange indeed has happened. From the BBC:

Ambridge is to get a dose of pop star royalty after it was revealed that pop duo Pet Shop Boys are to make a cameo appearance on Radio 4's The Archers.

Listeners found out on Friday that Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe's band had been lined up as last-minute headliners for fictional music festival Loxfest.

"It's a thrill for us to enter the world of The Archers, the UK's most famous radio drama," the pair said.

Pet Shop Boys will appear in Monday's instalment of the rural drama series.

Go West, indeed.

Pet Shop Boys - Go West

The Archers

Listen to the music and let your body flow

We have been without hot water at Dolores Delargo Towers #3 since we returned to London on Monday night, dear reader. The boiler's packed in, and it seems to be taking an age (and a lot of nagging of our landlady) to get things sorted, and to avoid us having to boil kettles just to wash. Grim. Engineer #2 arrives today, so let's see if he can do any better than the last one, who knew what to do to fix things but was obviously going to cost her too much. We know how this works.

Hey ho. It is a long weekend in prospect, whatever happens! I can always go to a sauna to get a shower...

So without further ado let's celebrate the end of another week in style. Featuring America's answer to Pan's People, the Solid Gold Dancers, here's A Taste of Honey and Boogie Oogie Oogie - Thank Disco It's Friday!

A Taste Of Honey - Boogie Oogie Oogie [Solid Gold (Season 2 / 1981)]

How rude of Andy Gibb and Marilyn McCoo to interrupt the lovely ladies.

Hope your Bank Holiday Weekend's a good one!

Well you can bump and grind if it's good for your mind

Still coping with the gloom after our fab Amsterdam trip, even a short working week such as this and a Bank Holiday weekend to come cannot lift the spirits.

Time for a light musical interlude, methinks...

How about James Last and his Orchestra with their truly faboo Hawkwind-T-Rex-Alice-Cooper medley?

James Last and his Orchestra - Silver Machine / Children Of The Revolution / Schools' Out

Ah, that's better!

Inhumane

Routine fire drills have been condemned for making workers think the place they hate most will be destroyed.

Experts described false fire alarms as ‘inhumane’.

Psychologist Nikki Hollis said: “It’s like giving a cat a massive herring then yanking it away on a piece of string, laughing sadistically while pretending it was a necessary test of the cat’s reflexes.”

Office manager Stephen Malley said: “Whenever the fire alarm goes off there is a wave of euphoria, with team members cheering and deliberately tipping their desks over.

“Last week that turned to a chant of ‘Burn! Burn! Burn!’ and some of the audit team began to empty out their cigarette lighters on a pile on tax return folders.

“However, after half an hour of standing around in the car park while the office fire warden yelled incomprehensibly, staff were ordered to return to their office.

“We were absolutely devastated once it dawned on us that we’d have to return to our dull cube-based lives.”

Call centre operative Roy Hobbs said: “I remember as a kid being promised a Big Trak for Christmas but instead my dad went to prison. That’s what fire drills are like.”

Boss Stephen Malley said: “There is actually no legal obligation to do fire drills. We just like to fuck with their heads.”

The Daily Mash.

Of course.

Guilty feet have got no rhythm

Another timeslip moment, dear reader, and one very close to my heart.

This time thirty years ago, I was on a little weekend trip to Bath (Georgian idyll) with a female friend. Having drunk all afternoon (some things never change), we retired for a "siesta" before the evening jollities (separate rooms, needless to say). I had, however, spotted earlier that day at the bus station kiosk a certain type of magazine that had intrigued little closeted moi...

And so it came to pass that I sneaked out of that hotel and purchased my very first gay wank mag publication Vulcan - and (ahem) the rest is history!

The music playing - or rather, being sung very loudly by a raucous group of young ladies passing the hotel window - on that auspicious occasion?

George Michael's Careless Whisper (the Number 1 hit in the charts this week in 1984)...

George Michael - Careless Whisper

Ah, memories.

While we were away...

...we missed Our Glorious Leader's birthday!

Charlie Hides TV - Happy Birthday Madonna!

Many happy returns, Madonna...

[From Charlie Hides TV. Of course.]

Mooie!

We're back, sweeties!

Much refreshed (if somewhat weary from burning the candle at both ends from Thursday night almost to the last moments before departing for Schiphol on Sunday evening) by the joys of Europe's most beautiful party city Amsterdam, I haven't (despite only having just returned to London after our overnight stay with the Essex Boyz) forgotten it is still a Tacky Music Monday.

So, in keeping with our current obsession with all things Dutch, what could possibly tackier than a special appearance at one of the extravagantly camp stadium-filling concerts by the marvellous De Toppers of the top Dutch girl-band of the 70s, Luv?

Enjoy the show (especially their entrance with zimmer frames!)...

Toppers Live 2006 - Luv Medley

De Toppers

Luv' on Wikipedia

Dat is mooier dan Parijs

By time you read this, dear hearts, we shall be in the throes of travel to our most beloved of all cities (London aside) - AMSTERDAM!

I will be sure to bring you all back a tasteful present such as the above.

Meanwhile, here's the only song to play for such an occasion. Take it away, Johnny Jordaan!

Johnny Jordaan - Geef mij maar Amsterdam

Geef mij maar Amsterdam, indeed!

[Back Monday!]

Music catch-up, final part(y)

The third (and final; for now) of my little musical "catch-ups" is all about dance - and in particular, the work of one man: Mr Dave Audé!

You can keep your Avicii, your Pharrell, Calvin Harris and Tiesto, this man is consistently the most uplifting of all the "remixers-du-jour". And here are just a few examples from the summer of 2014 of his work, that have made me smile and shake my booty (admittedly somewhat wheezily these days)...

London Rose - Kick Drum

Robyn and Röyksopp - Do It Again

Andy Bell - Aftermath (Here We Go)

He even made that Disney schmaltz-fest Let It Go sound good:

Idina Menzel - Let It Go

And, finally, his collaboration with a lady who I only name-checked yesterday - the lovely Luciana:

Dave Audé vs Luciana - You Only Talk In #HASHTAG

That's got me in the mood for a party - in Amsterdam!

Dave Audé official website

And tell me baby, tell me where it hurts

We're off to Amsterdam tomorrow! To conclude this "mini-countdown" to our much-needed break, I think we are overdue another fabulously slinky number from Holland's greatest export since Edam - the wonderful Miss Caro Emerald:

Caro Emerald - Coming Back As a Man

I think I may do the same.

I'll hide behind the Errol Flynn moustache,
Remove the false impression to make sure the feeling lasts.
Call me the equalizer for the girls,
And tell me baby, tell me where it hurts.

Indeed.

Caro Emerald official website

Musical catch-up, part 2

As promised (threatened?) yesterday, I am endeavouring to do a major sortie through the past few months of "newer" music that people may have thought I had overlooked, and this is the second instalment. These amuse-bouches are all for your enjoyment, dear reader. I do hope they provide some modicum of entertainment...

To get the ball rolling, it's our friend Marcus Reeves with his newest - and stunningly gothic - single, featuring erstwhile cabaret artiste (and briefly a member of Fascinating Aida) Miss Sarah-Louise Young...

Marcus Reeves - Smoke and Mirrors

I can never understand why this marvellous Aussie duo have never had a hit in the UK - it's Parralox (this time featuring a rather sassy lady by the name of Francine):

Parralox ft Francine - Crying on the Dancefloor

Definitely not new (even this mix is a year old), but new to me, is this fab New Order vs Depeche Mode vs Daft Punk mashup:

New Order vs. Depeche Mode vs. Daft Punk (Sterbinszky and Coddie Mashup)

Oozing a dance-bitch-diva attitude of which our own beloved Luciana would be proud, here's Veronika Vesper with (a song that I am sure we all know someone to whom we'd like to dedicate):

Veronika Vesper - Fuck the Ego

A follow-up to the rather catchy Hideaway (that I featured back in March), the new single from the unpronounceable Kiesza is every kind of wonderful (song and video). I first saw this on a big screen in a local sandwich shop in my lunch break, and it really made the rest of my afternoon in work go with a swing!

Kiesza - Giant In My Heart

Now, as any fule kno, I'm no great fan of Miss Katy Perry. However, I was rather struck with this cover version of one of her faux-OTT hits ET by the (s)punky Garek (last featured here in December 2012). With a video featuring piss-takes of both Ms P and Ms Gaga, how could I not?

Garek - E.T.

And finally, peeps, it's time for some smut and filth! With its definitely NSFW video, here's the kinky-boots-lover SirPaul, and his paean to Black Leather:



As always, enjoy - and let me know your thoughts...

I wanna take you to a Dutch bar, Dutch bar

One simply cannot let any countdown to our trip to Amsterdam go by without an appearance by that triumph of art over nature, Gerard Joling!

Here's his classic sing-along number (well, it is if you speak Dutch - which I don't), Ik hou d'r zo van!

Gerard Joling – Ik hou d'r zo van

Ah, now I am getting excited - quite a few of the bars we gravitate towards on our trips to the "Venice of the North" are actually just like this...

Musical catch-up, part 1

It has been months since I did a round-up of newer music that has caught my ear. However, having had a year that has so far thrown some rather significant distractions my way - including being threatened with redundancy and having to go through formal interviews not once, but twice; (unexpectedly) having to move house from a place we had worked damned hard on for four years to somewhere that has provided us with more headaches than homosexuels d'un certain age should have had to deal with; and my other half Madam Arcati having to change jobs - I think I have sufficient excuse.

[Be prepared - my selections will come in several parts.]

Needless to say, my favourite bloggers out there - in particular the stupendous Henry at Barbarella's Galaxy - have continually scoured the interwebs (so I don't have to) for music that has been a delight to discover.

So, to make a start, what little surprises has the summer of 2014 thrown up? In the past few months we have seen the very welcome returns of some old favourites here at Dolores Delargo Towers...

Certainly not least of these is the gorgeous Mika and his faboo Boum Boum Boum [fnaar fnaar]:

Mika - Boum Boum Boum

The uber-diva Miss Martha Wash bounced back with a vengeance:

Martha Wash - I'm Not Coming Down

We had an excellent return to form for Miss Sophie Ellis-Bextor:

Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Love is a Camera

And our ever-sexy houseboys Kazaky invited us to eat their Magic Pie (yes please!):

Kazaky - Magic Pie

But the biggest - and most beautiful - musical event? The long-anticipated release of Miss Roisin Murphy's Mi Senti EP, from whence comes the sublime Ancora Tu...



This little round-up is merely by way of a catch-up of lovely tracks by familiar artists for your delectation, dear reader.

Our next instalment will cover some new(er) artists...

Bertha and Maggie

Oh, yuk. The worst that Hurricane Bertha had to throw at us may be over (our pot plants in the gardens of Dolores Delargo Towers #3 took a hammering), but it's still "back to work time" - too soon, too soon.

Never mind, it's only two days - as I'm on leave on Wednesday, and on Thursday morning we're off to Amsterdam!

This Tacky Music Monday, here's something appropriate to start us off in our countdown to the annual "pilgrimage", courtesy of Maggie MacNeal (born Sjoukje van't Spijker, would'ya believe?)...

Maggie MacNeal - Amsterdam

Amsterdam was the Dutch entry at the 1980 Eurovision Song Contest. It didn't win.

Have a good week, one and all!

The Queen

It's my birthday, and, as is my wont - given the marathon drinking session that was yesterday's fantabulosa picnic - I'm nursing a hangover from hell...

Never mind, birthdays are always worth celebrating - and here's a highly appropriate little number from Miss Marie Dressler to cheer the day along:

Marie Dressler - For I'm The Queen

I'm the Queen, indeed.

I feel better already...

[Eternal thanks to the lovely Muscato for this one...]

Genteel?

We're off to Regent's Park for our annual jolly picnic, laden with chairs, groundsheets, grub and booze as always.

It pissed down with rain last night but the sun is blazing now, so fingers crossed it won't be as windswept and damp as depicted by the marvellous Mr Vettriano above.

Let's have some suitably classy music for what is always a genteel (ish) and delightful day, courtesy of the ever-wonderful Soft Tempo Lounge...

Soft Tempo Lounge - Women of the World '67

Music: Requiem Per Un Agente Secreto by Piero Umiliani

Dress you like a queen

With my birthday weekend looming - around twenty people will be descending on Regent's Park for my and my sister's annual celebratory picnic tomorrow (fingers crossed for the weather!) - we need something particularly sparkly to get the party started.

What better than the fabulously kitsch Pan's People, and yet another of their "literal interpretive dance routines" of a disco classic?

On this, the 65th birthday of one of the group's founding members Airrion Love, it's the Stylistics as you (and probably they) never imagined - Thank Disco It's Friday!

Pan's People - Stylistics - I Can't Give You Anything (But My Love)

[Forgive the Xmas theme...]

If I had money I'd go wild
Buy you furs
Dress you like a queen
And in a chauffeured limousine
We'd look so fine.

I certainly hope so!

Stylistics official website

Push aside those that whisper never

From the BBC website comes an intriguing piece of news:

Re-formed 1980s band Culture Club feature among a line-up of concerts with the BBC Philharmonic designed to broaden the appeal of orchestral music.

[The band], who announced their comeback earlier this year, will revisit their acclaimed 1983 album Colour by Numbers accompanied by the 90-strong BBC Philharmonic.

The record featured their chart-topping hit Karma Chameleon and songs Church of the Poisoned Mind and It's a Miracle.

I can't wait to hear this!

One song in particular - my favourite of the whole album - should be an absolute treat:

Culture Club - Victims

Colour By Numbers Wikipedia entry.

Friends forever?

The truth is out there...

Scientists have confirmed that your circle of dickheads is biggest in your late twenties.

Hanging onto the people from school and college you have nothing in common with while fruitlessly trying to like the people you work with makes 29 the peak year for hating everybody you know.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute For Studies said: “Younger people feel obliged to socialise with those they hate as adverts tell them it’s inherently fun to be among large groups of humans.

“But as life goes on you manage to whittle down your social circle to those whose petty grievances and antipathies you agree with most. By the age of 80 it’s essentially you and a couple of other people grunting and tutting at the television together.”

28-year-old Nikki Hollis said: “I want to get married, just so I can move out to the sticks and ditch the horde of morons that are forever on my case to go to shit bars."

The Daily Mash.

Of course.

[Read the "real" article in the Guardian.]

Anything you asked me to

They're all getting older, dears...

Pete Burns is 55 years old today! Admittedly, you'd never tell as there's not much left of his face from when he was born.

I have (of course) paid tribute to the weirdest man in pop here before, so let us instead revel in one of his earlier works with Dead or Alive. This brings back happy memories...

Dead or Alive - I'd Do Anything

I would do just about anything
I would do just about anything

Well I used to have what I would call
A very limited vocabulary
And the only two words
I could wrap my tongue around
Were I and me
But now I feel so clever
That you would swear I ate a dictionary
And the new word that I've added
Brings up my words to three
What am I gonna do
Word number three is you

I would do anything, anything
I would do anything, anything
Anything to be with you
Anything you asked me to
I would do anything, anything
Just about anything, anything
Anything to be with you
Anything you asked me to

Oh the meaning of my feelings
It is not written in no dictionary
And I've tried to find the meaning
In a phrase book or two
Well there are some things you can only say
If you have a healthy body
So come on, baby, let's talk together
For a day or two
You know what I will do
For a day or two
You know what I will do
You know what I need from you

I would do anything, anything
I would do anything, anything
Anything to be with you
Anything you asked me to
I would do anything, anything
Just about anything, anything
Anything to be with you
Anything you asked me to

Won't you come back, won't you run back
Won't come back and play with me?
Won't you run back, won't you run back
Won't you run back and stay with me?

Pete Burns (born 5th August 1959)

Sun worship, with lamé

Oh dear. Another sunny weekend is over, and we need to suffer in silence for another week the gloom of the office...

Never mind - on this Tacky Music Monday, we have a very glitzy little number from none other than one of France's greatest actresses Mlle Claudia Cardinale to cheer us up. With her gold-clad homosexuelles de sécurité, here's an anthem with we can all agree!

Claudia Cardinale - Sun, I Love You

Eternal thanks to the ever-wonderful Thombeau at The Redundant Variety Hour for this slice of kitsch - he has two more videos from La Cardinale's show, if you haven't had enough...

Have a great week, dear reader!

I wanted a tricycle

On this day in history: "in fourteen hundred and ninety-two Columbus sailed the ocean blue", setting off from Spain with three ships on his way to make his ground-breaking discovery of the Americas; in 1778 La Scala opera house opened in Milan; in 1858 the source of the Nile (Lake Victoria) was discovered; in 1914 Germany declared war on France; in 1936 Jesse Owens gave Hitler's "master-race" ideals a kicking by winning the first of four gold medals at the Berlin Olympics... and, in 1966, my sister was born!

When my father woke me on that fateful day (I was three years old), he said "We've got you an early birthday present. It's a baby sister.". I cried, and said "I wanted a tricycle!"

In tribute to my 48 years of resentment, here's an appropriate song - I dedicate it to Hils...

TuTiTu - Tricycle Song

My ears hurt.

Happy Birthday, darling!

He swings so cool and sways so gently

[Gratuitous shot of male model at Ipanema beach]

Stressed-out we all may be, but a little musical interlude, courtesy of the ever-wonderful Soft Tempo Lounge, always helps to soothe the troubled mind...

Soft Tempo Lounge - Rio Holiday '62

[Music: Sunny Rio - Pierre Devevey and Thierry Veneux]

Soft Tempo Lounge

To be alive

Thankfully, a very tiresome (and tiring) week's work is wending its way to a very welcome close. With my sister's birthday on Sunday, we need to crank up the wireless, get the dry-ice machine running full pelt, and get the party started - and who better to put us in the mood than that magnificent one-hit-wonder Mr Patrick Hernandez?

Thank Disco It's Friday!

Patrick Hernandez - Born To Be Alive

It is amazing to think that this irresistibly catchy choon is thirty-five years old this very week...

And, yes! That is none other than a very young Miss Madonna Ciccone throwing shapes (spot her in close-up at 1:40), as one of Mr Hernandez's backing troupe of very energetic dancers. We all have to start somewhere, I suppose.



Have a fantabulosa weekend, one and all, and remember:

Time was on my side
When I was running down the street
It was so fine, fine, fine
A suitcase and an old guitar
And something new to occupy
My mind, mind, mind

You see you were born, born
Born to be alive!

Read a not-so-subtle analysis of the death of Mr Hernandez's career on Ecstatic Wax blog.