OK, we should have known. Britain is not the most popular country in Europe. It also does not (naturally) produce the kind of histrionic power-balladry or "oompah" Europop that appeals to various quarters of the continent.
However, I (and all our guests at last night's grand Eurovision extravaganza at Dolores Delargo Towers) thought that this year the UK's entry might have done a little better than FIVE bloody points! We awarded Electro Velvet's jaunty little "Jazz Age" number Still In Love With You, and their stunning performance with illuminated costumes, top marks in our voting (we all have especially prepared scorecards - this party is not just booze'n'buffet and dressing-up, you know! Well... mainly.).
And what of the rest? The ones that beat us included songs about adoption, songs about war and peace and death and love, a cod-opera number from Italy (that came third in the contest, and we voted 4th), "Xena Warrior Woman" (from Georgia), a Britney-Spears-looky-likey (from Spain), a bloody-Bruno-Mars soundalike (from Australia - "special guests" for the contest's 60th birthday celebrations), some electro-pop numbers, some that tried to emulate that "Conchita magic", lots of wailing and some truly horrible voices.
[The eyepatch - decorated with bling, of course - was due to an unfortunate reaction to an insect bite! The joys of gardening...]
A very close second in our "house votes" was a song that was not massively popular in the real-life results (it only got 53 points) - Serbia's larger-than-life Bojana Stamenov with Beauty Never Lies:
But our Number 3 was, it turned out, the actual winner on the evening - the utterly gorgeous Måns Zelmerlöw from Sweden with Heroes (and his impressively imaginative stage effects):
The most scary part of this year's contest - Eurovision having been utterly swamped in recent years by the countries of Eastern Europe who were formerly in its sphere of influence, and whose votes invariably and predictably remain "eastwards" - was "Mother Russia"'s high scoring (they came second in the contest) entry A Million Voices, ironically another whiny "song about peace". Tell that to the Ukrainians.
Just the prospect of what is possibly the world's most popular musical event with us gayers across many cultures and divides [I do not include America as the populace there has never understood it - nor even been shown it - at all; it's most likely because they can't be involved and win, an equivalent being that American Football or Baseball games are referred to as a "World Series" even though absolutely nobody else plays them] could possibly be hosted next year in Kaiser Putin's tyrannical empire, where gays are so cruelly discriminated against and where "neighbours" are actually perceived as "new territory" (to be invaded rather than competitively sung against), was anathema to us. Judging by the (somewhat unfair, as Conchita herself tried to defend their singer against) boos and catcalls every time they got douze points, the massive audience at the event in Vienna agreed.
And so, as the votes from each of the 39 countries in Eurovision (plus guest Australia) mounted up, we found ourselves in the peculiar and unprecedented position of even cheering when countries such as Latvia got top marks from their neighbours. ABR (Anything But Russia), it seems.
We can only hope that one day a British entry might get there, might rediscover that little bit of magic that our last winner Katrina and the Waves (way back in 1997), or Buck's Fizz (who won in 1981), or even Brotherhood of Man (in 1976) - lord help us - had, and provide our proud nation (one of the "Big Five" that funds it all, of course) with a winner again...
Regardless of who, what, where or when, however, our Eurovision Song Contest party remains one of the highlights of our own "Social Calendar" - an opportunity for very good friends to dress up in ridiculous outfits (per nominated country), to screech at the telly, to laugh and get merry. We will be doing it all again, no doubt, same time, same place next year - and long may this ultimate kitsch-fest remain such a magnificent source of entertainment!
Eurovision Song Contest
Every year I feel cheated, cheated, out of this madness just by result of geography and the fact we know which side of the road to drive on. It's so unfair.
ReplyDeleteAnd Mr. Zelmerlow is certainly easy on the eyes, but why is singing in English? Not only English, but American sounding English?
Not many contest entrants sing in their native tongue any more - and presumably Mr Zelmerlow has been perfecting his American drawl with an eye on Hollywood... He's worked with Dolph Lundgren, you know. Jx
DeleteA fabulous party !
ReplyDeleteThank you Katie Boyle
I can't say "Royaume-Uni " quite like she could... Jx
DeleteSerbia got my vote - Sweden were top 5 for me, I think the graphics swung it for him... He is rather lovely but has made some ill judged comments about gays in the past...
ReplyDeleteI think it might've been fun if Russia had won it, what is gayer than Eurovision? Putin would've combusted x
I read about the controversy, but Mr Zelmerlow has made a public apology, and he hosted a gala concert for Sweden's gay magazine QX (see picture #1), during which he "did a Miley Cyrus", naked on a wrecking ball, so we forgive him... Jx
DeletePS I'd prefer Putin to combust without the kudos of hosting Eurovision, myself.
It was yet another fun (if somewhat underwhelming) Eurovision this year. I have always liked Mans and thought it was a well deserved win. I also really liked Italy, Serbia, Latvia, Estonia, Georgia, Spain etc so it was a fun night (we had predicted the top 5, in the exact order it ended). Iceland's entry was dreadful so thankfully it did not bother the audience in the final. As for the UK, I'm afraid it ended right where I expected it would. I have said it again and I'll say it once more: how a country responsible for such an incredible amount of amazing music through the decades can always get it so wrong in Eurovision is beyond me...
ReplyDeleteAs for Russia, I thought it was a decent song and deserved a top 5 placing (although I did not care much it). I'm sure that the politics did not do it any favors, but I insist on judging the songs by their own merits, rather then where they come from. That said, I am glad Russia didn't win. So it's off to Sweden again next year - I'm already looking forward to it...
I am afraid we disagreed with you on Latvia, Estonia and Spain - but Nina Sublatti was rather popular... Russia's entry may have been competent, but I am afraid the cynical presentation of a song about "peace" when the country has invaded Ukraine and is militating against so many other countries left a taste of sick in my mouth. Sorry.
DeleteThank heavens for Sweden, indeed! Jx
Doesn't Russia send a song about peace and harmony every year, complete with performers in white? I'm sure there are people in Russia that actually do want peace and tolerance and harmony and whatnot, but I agree that it does leave a bit of bad taste in ones mouth...
ReplyDeleteI have no doubt that many in Russia "actually do want peace and tolerance and harmony and whatnot". However, they tend to get arrested or "disappeared". I very much doubt the Russian entry was there without Putin's sanction, and it was horrible to see the country actually being allowed to enter given the circumstances (international sanctions, etc) and get so many votes. The singer herself may not have deserved to be booed for her performance - the audience being so very gay or "gay-friendly", however, that is not entirely surprising - but she must have been expecting some kind of backlash when she agreed to publicly represent the most repressive regime this side of sub-Saharan Africa, surely? Or did she really not have a clue how much "Mother Russia" (as that grinning ape who gave his country's jury votes referred to it) is hated? Jx
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