Seeking rather than vengeance, retribution

For once, I am not shouting "we wuz robbed" after the results of the Eurovision Song Contest last night.

Unlike previous years, our gang had made very little connection with the UK's entrant Molly Smitten-Downes or her forgettable "anthem" Children of the Universe. In truth she, and it, had little charisma, and instead - unanimously - all twelve of us were rooting for the lovely Conchita Wurst and her sub-James-Bond-theme Rise Like A Phoenix.

And our girl won it! The cheering here at Dolores Delargo Towers was deafening, needless to say.



Every year we always do the full shebang - dressing up (Hils was our own "bearded lady"; Sally was our Agnetha), booze and food from countries across Eurovisionland, and fill in our scorecards (in between excessive bouts of drinking, of course).



And here are the Top 5 from our jury:

Austria
Greece
Germany
Italy
United Kingdom

Compared to the real final five:

Austria
Netherlands
Sweden
Armenia
Hungary

There were some real differences (apart from Conchita). Nobody liked the Dutch one (a direct rip-off of Every Step You Take by The Police); The Swedish entry was OK, but just not good enough for us; Armenia was a Celine Dion song in the making (and no-one likes her!); and everyone absolutely despised the Hungarian child-abuse song.

There were, inevitably, a clutch of bizarre and bewildering songs and performances (it just wouldn't be Eurovsion without them!), including the French song about growing a moustache (which came last), a man on a hamster wheel, a trapeze artist, some hunky boys on a trampoline and (from Poland) several large-breasted young "ladies" jiggling over milk churns - in an effort to detract attention from the execrable mess of a song, no doubt. Russia was booed at every opportunity (which was unfortunate for the plucky 17-year-old twins who had to represent that benighted regime); Graham Norton made bitchy comments (on San Marino: "The population is 31,000. Obviously they've clubbed together to buy her a pair of ruche curtains"); Belarus gave douze points to Russia, Moldova gave twelve to Romania, and Georgia twelve to Armenia. Business as usual...



As all such events at ours inevitably do, the melée went on - messily - into the wee small hours. I finally bagged and binned all the empty bottles, abandoned glasses and munched morsels and got to bed at 4.30am, not rising again (like a phoenix) till 2 this afternoon(!).



It was a marvellous party, indeed.

And here's our Conchita!

Conchita Wurst - Rise Like A Phoenix

Waking in the rubble
Walking over glass
Neighbours say we’re trouble
Well that time has passed

Peering from the mirror
No, that isn’t me
Stranger getting nearer
Who can this person be

You wouldn’t know me at all today
From the fading light I fly

Rise like a phoenix
Out of the ashes
Seeking rather than vengeance
Retribution
You were warned
Once I’m transformed
Once I’m reborn
You know I will rise like a phoenix
But you’re my flame

Go about your business
Act as if you’re free
No one could have witnessed
What you did to me

Cause you wouldn’t know me today
And you have got to see
To believe
From the fading light I fly

Rise like a phoenix
Out of the ashes
Seeking rather than vengeance
Retribution
You were warned
Once I’m transformed
Once I’m reborn

I rise up to the sky
You threw me down but
I’m gonna fly

And rise like a phoenix
Out of the ashes
Seeking rather than vengeance
Retribution
You were warned
Once I’m transformed
Once I’m reborn
You know I will rise like a phoenix
But you’re my flame

Post-Eurovison analysis sarcasm courtesy of Euan Ferguson in The Guardian.