Thought for the day

Gratuitous pic of Cristiano Ronaldo (footballer, apparently) enjoying the sunshine

Your thoughts and feelings are dictated by whether it is sunny.

Researchers at the Institute for Studies found that rather than having a complex psychological core or even an immortal soul, humans are organic machines made happy by sunshine and sad by the rain.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Recently fluctuations in weather demonstrate how there is nothing really to us, character-wise, beyond opening the curtains and going ‘yay’ or ‘boo’.

“If the sun is out you feel content and want beer and sexual intercourse. The song "Lovely Day" by Bill Withers will be playing in your head.

“If it’s rainy you will be in a mood and probably thinking about quitting your job.

“That’s all there is to you really.”

38-year-old Emma Bradford said: “That’s rubbish, my nan died last week and I was an emotional wreck.

“Thinking about it though, the weather brightened up in the afternoon and we did have quite a nice time at the wake.”

The Daily Mash.

Of course.