How can life be what you want it to be?

Three weeks? Try three decades!

As it is my and Madam Arcati's big anniversary year this year (in May), I feel it's appropriate to dip in and out of what was going on the year we met. It will be a regular feature, methinks.

To that end, let's take a mini-timeslip moment all the way back... to 1998!

In the news headlines of February '98: There was a breakthrough in the standoff between the UN and Saddam Hussain as weapons inspectors were finally allowed into Iraq; Mohamed Al Fayed (father of Dodi) claimed that the deaths of Princess Diana and his son were a conspiracy to kill rather than an accident; the Kosovo War began, after a massacre of civilians in the village of Likoshane; the since-discredited study of purported links between the MMR (measles, mumps, and rubella) and autism was published, prompting decades of scaremongering and conspiracy theories; the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky affair exposé began a tabloid "feeding-frenzy"; 4000 people were killed by an earthquake in Afghanistan; the Nagano Winter Olympics were underway; and we bade sad farewells to Rock Me Amadeus singer Falco [killed in a car crash], national treasure Dermot Morgan (Father Ted) [suddenly, aged just 45], Carl Wilson (founder member of the Beach Boys) and the controversial politician Enoch Powell.

In our cinemas: Titanic; Boogie Nights; The Ice Storm. On telly: The Cruise (the show that made Jane McDonald into a star), Robot Wars, and British soap's first transgender character Hayley Patterson arrived in Coronation Street.

What of our charts this week twenty-five years ago? Slimy Dion had just been knocked off the top slot (to the cheers of a grateful nation) by the simply faboo Cornershop and Brimful of Asha. Also present and correct in the Top Ten were Aqua, Savage Garden, Robbie Williams, Shania Twain, Another Level, All Saints, Will Smith and - erm - soap-star-turned-"singer" Will Mellor.

But, waiting in the wings just outside the Hot 100 was the one that would sweep them all aside - Our Glorious Leader!

Madonna - Frozen

You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You're frozen
When your heart's not open

You're so consumed with how much you get
You waste your time with hate and regret
You're broken
When your heart's not open

Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
Mmmmmm, you hold the key

Now there's no point in placing the blame
And you should know I suffer the same
If I lose you
My heart will be broken

Love is a bird, she needs to fly
Let all the hurt inside of you die
You're frozen
When your heart's not open

Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
Mmmmmm, you hold the key

You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You're frozen
When your heart's not open

Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
Mmmmmm, you hold the key

Twenty-five frigging years?!

How did that happen?