Tuesday, 1 November 2016

I presumed he was just a normal person


A gay man has met a Christian who appears civilised and could even be described as nice.

Tom Booker met church-goer Wayne Hayes when he started working in his office, and has expressed his surprise that he ‘really couldn’t tell’.

Booker said: “We often end up in the kitchen at the same time to make a cup of tea, so we started exchanging pleasantries and worked up to longer conversations.

“He was always nice enough and talked about his family and allotment and stuff, so I presumed he was just a normal person. However, a few weeks later he mentioned something about believing in God.

“I was really shocked, but he seemed very cool about it. I asked if he thought it was just a phase and he said no, he’d been feeling this way since he was about nine.

“I wanted to ask him what Christians actually do in church, but I got worried that he might think I’m secretly into it and try to recruit me. He hasn’t mentioned it since.

“It’s almost as if it’s a perfectly acceptable way to live your life, which has really given me pause for thought.”
The Daily Mash

Of course.

Monday, 31 October 2016

Dance around in your bones


Pumpkin, anyone?

How apt - the annual occasion arrives for ghouls and witches and the tortured souls of the undead to inhabit the earth, and I am heading back to the joys of the office (after almost a week away) to greet them all...

Never mind, on this Hallowe'en Tacky Music Monday, we have something spookily entertaining to get us in the mood to venture out into the fog - here's Tain't No Sin by Dan Russo!


When you hear sweet syncopation
And the music softly moans
T'ain't no sin to take off your skin
And dance around in your bones!


Indeed.

Happy Samhain, my little coven!

Sunday, 30 October 2016

Do the snatch, clean, and jerk



He shares his birthday with a mixed bag of luminaries that include Ruth Gordon, Christopher Columbus, Henry Winkler, Michael Winner, Grace Slick, Harry Hamlin, Juliet Stevenson, Stefan Dennis, Diego Maradona and... Charles Atlas!

In a sort of twisted acknowledgement of the latter, here's an old fave [and rather befitting, as an early Hallowe'en treat] to get the old dear up and dancing - Happy Birthday, John-John!

Apparently, in just seven days, he can make you a ma-a-a-a-an..."



The birthday party on Friday was heaps of fun! Shame I can't squeeze into that basque any more...

Saturday, 29 October 2016

"Give me librium or give me meth!"


"You're warning me? Me? I'm Harold, and I'm the one person you don't warn, Michael, because you and I are alike. And we tread very carefully around each other because we both play each other's game too well. I know this game you're playing. I know it very well and I play it very well. You play it very well too, but you know what? I'm the only one who's better at it than you are. I can beat you at it, so don't push me. I'm. Warning. You!"
What actor (or actress) worth their salt would not love the chance to deliver a little monologue of this order?

Such is the predominant role that 'Harold' plays in The Boys in the Band, that all the other characters - including the increasingly cruel "Michael" and his alcohol-fuelled "party games" around which much of the action revolves - at times appear to be the "chorus" awaiting his acerbic solos. It is a gem of a part [like a "meaner Oscar Wilde", as one critic puts it], that Mr Mark Gatiss took to with brilliant relish in the new revival of this ground-breaking gay classic we went to see at our local theatre The Park on Thursday night.

A surprisingly successful off-Broadway play that celebrates its 50th anniversary next year, it was, of course, made into an equally radical movie by William Friedkin that has imbued its catty repartee into gay bons mots to this day. On seeing the film at its showing at the Conway Hall five years ago, I wrote:
Written for the theatre in 1967 by Mart Crowley, The Boys in the Band just about pre-dated the Stonewall Riots, yet was equally as ground-breaking in its uncompromising subject matter - the lives, loves, friendships and bitchiness of a group of gay men in New York. With its (shocking at the time) scenes of man-on-man kissing, loving relationships, sex, swearing and matter-of-fact discussion of gay matters, it was controversial - to say the least - particularly when it became more widely known thanks to its 1970 film adaptation.

Needless to say, the timing of the release of such an excoriatingly bitter and twisted black comedy met with vocal opposition from within the gay world as well as from the usual suspects (the god-botherers, moralists and bigots, particularly in America). Gay rights activists tore into the self-loathing and bitterness of some of the characters, vilifying the play as concentrating on the "negative" rather than the "positive" aspects of gay life, and internalising the hatred rather than tackling society's homophobia.

All very worthy sentiments. However, this is only to be expected when people who are fighting for their rights encounter a situationist portrayal of what, in fact, was actually "real life" for many better-off urban gays.

In my opinion, much as in other comparable set-piece bitch-fests as The Women or Abigail's Party, the joy is not in its attempts to "represent reality" but to explore the interplay between the characters and their ultimate attempts to destroy each other as part of some self-revealing "game".

Unpleasant secrets and spiteful comments are bandied about by all the characters in turn, as alcohol, marijuana and the unwelcome presence of a mysterious character from our host Michael's past all have an impact on what might otherwise have been a simple (read "camp") celebration of the birthday of the group's Queen Bee, Harold.

Yet in doing so, the brilliance of the writer's creations comes to the fore - the dialogue is superb, the one-liners are eminently quotable, and despite several sharp intakes of breath, as a whole this is a fabulous (and genuinely "classic") masterpiece of theatre, writ large...
  • Michael: "What is he - a psychiatrist or a hairdresser?"
  • Donald: "Actually he's both. He shrinks my head and then combs me out."
  • Emory: "Who do you have to fuck to get a drink around here?"
  • Michael: "There's one thing to be said about masturbation: you certainly don't have to look your best."
  • Harold: "Your lips are turning blue. You look like you've been rimming a snowman."
  • Michael: [about Emory's falling down] "A falling down drunk nellie queen."
  • Harold: "Well, THAT'S the pot calling the kettle 'beige'."
  • Tex: "I lost my grip doing my chin ups and fell on my heels and twisted my back."
  • Emory: "You shouldn't wear heels when you do chin ups!"
  • Michael: "You're stoned and you're late. You were supposed to arrive at this location at eight thirty dash nine o'clock."
  • Harold: "What I am, Michael, is a 32 year-old, ugly, pock marked Jew fairy, and if it takes me a little while to pull myself together, and if I smoke a little grass before I get up the nerve to show my face to the world, it's nobody's god damned business but my own. And how are you this evening?"


The Park Theatre's production, directed by Adam Penford, flies in the face of detractors who criticise its somewhat dated observations on sexuality and race - and, in sticking entirely to the original dialogue (and fantastically late-60s design and fashion aesthetic), merely proves what a brilliant play this was and still is. The excellent cast help in that regard too, of course!

Apart from the tour-de-force performance by Mr Gatiss, his husband-in-real-life Ian Hallard was superbly malevolent as 'Michael' [even if his breakdown at the play's climax maybe failed to evoke quite the gut-wrenching desperation of the screen portrayal by the late Kenneth Nelson]; James Holmes was brilliantly funny and poignant in his portrayal of the "butterfly in heat" 'Emory', who gets most of the laughs; and the rather gorgeous Jack Derges was spot-on as the dumb but charming 'Cowboy Tex', with his naive misunderstandings and cheerful embrace of his role in life as merely "eye candy" for the amusement of his "betters".



Needless to say, the fact he was bestowed upon him as a birthday gift from 'Emory' provided 'Harold' with another timeless observation:
"Oh yes. It's too bad about this poor boy's face. It's tragic. He's absolutely cursed. How could his beauty ever compare with my soul? And although I've never seen my soul, I understand from my mother's Rabbi that it's a knock-out. I, however, cannot seem to locate it for a gander. And if I could, I'd sell it in a flash, for some skin-deep, transitory, meaningless beauty."
Michael's best friend 'Donald' is a complex, damaged-yet-ultimately-most-loyal character to capture, and the gorgeous Daniel Boys - better known to us as a singer - was real eye-opener with the depth of his ability to portray it. The bickering couple 'Hank' and 'Larry' (Nathan Nolan and Ben Mansfield) were excellent, convincingly exposing their complex relationship in a heartfelt and honest manner rarely seen in drama even today; Greg Lockett as 'Bernard' superbly exuded the pathos required of a character with the "double-whammy" of being black and gay, and still in love with the (white) son of his mother's former employers; and John Hopkins' "straight-boy-with-a-secret" [possibly] 'Alan' was adeptly indignant and vile-tempered and at the same time a transfixed observer of the outlandish downward spiral of this "gay party from hell".

It was an utterly marvellous show!

And we were not alone in thinking it...


The Boys in the Band now embarks on a UK tour, having closed at The Park tonight - appearing at Manchester's Salford Lowry Theatre from 3rd November, and taking in the Theatre Royal in Brighton and the West Yorkshire Playhouse in Leeds.

Friday, 28 October 2016

We're the syndicate of soul



Despite the fact I am on leave [oh, the social whorl! Friday Night is Music Night on Tuesday, Boys in the Band starring Mark Gatiss last night (more on that shortly, no doubt), the RHS Shades of Autumn Show and our friend John-John's birthday tonight], there's always a need to ramp up the "boogie factor" as the weekend hoves into view...

...so, here to provide us with a bit of a groove is the faboo Heatwave (with yet another choon from the prolific pen of the late, great Rod Temperton) - Gangsters of the Groove!

Thank Disco It's Friday, indeed!


Have a good one...

Thursday, 27 October 2016

See my pirouette, round and round



Abba to re-form? As holograms?!

From the BBC:
All four original members of Abba are to reunite for a new digital entertainment project.

The Swedish pop group have not formally performed together since they split up more than 30 years ago but did appear at a 50th anniversary party in June.

The project, which will involve virtual reality and artificial intelligence, has been described as a "new entertainment experience".

It will be developed in collaboration with music manager Simon Fuller.

"We are exploring a new technological world that will allow us to create new forms of entertainment and content we couldn't have previously imagined," Fuller said in a statement.

Full details of their new project will be announced in 2017.

Agnetha Faltskog, Bjorn Ulvaeus, Benny Andersson, and Anni-Frid Lyngstad parted ways in 1982 after more than 10 years together.

The group announced they will work with Fuller, who rose to fame managing the Spice Girls, on what is being described as a "groundbreaking venture that will utilise the very latest in digital and virtual reality technology".

Lyngstad said fans around the world always ask about a reunion, and added: "I hope this new Abba creation will excite them as much as it excites me."

Andersson said: "We're inspired by the limitless possibilities of what the future holds and are loving being a part of creating something new and dramatic here. A time machine that captures the essence of who we were and are."
I wonder if they'll include this one in their "virtual reality" project?


"You're so free", that's what everybody's telling me
Yet I feel I'm like an outward-bound, pushed around, refugee
Something's wrong, got a feeling that I don't belong
As if I had come from outer space, out of place, like King Kong

I'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the string
I'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I sing
I'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and round
I'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clown

Like a doll, like a puppet with no will at all
And somebody told me how to talk, how to walk, how to fall

Can't complain, I've got no-one but myself to blame
Something's happening I can't control, lost my hold, is it safe?

I'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the string
I'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I sing
I'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and round
I'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clown

"Look this way, just a little smile", is what they say
"You look better on the photograph if you laugh, that's okay"

I'm a marionette, just a marionette, pull the string
I'm a marionette, everybody's pet, just as long as I sing
I'm a marionette, see my pirouette, round and round
I'm a marionette, I'm a marionette, just a silly old clown

"You're so free", that's what everybody's telling me
Yet I feel I'm like an outward-bound, pushed around, refugee.


Hmmm...

Wednesday, 26 October 2016

From Ally Pally to Aiden Turner



We had another wonderful (free) evening's entertainment last night, courtesy of the BBC - having again landed audience tickets for Friday Night is Music Night [our fourth this year; we were at the Queen's Birthday celebration concert, an evening of Cy Coleman's music and a birthday tribute to conductor Carl Davis CBE, which I may write about at a later stage], this time at its "spiritual home" The Mermaid Theatre in Blackfriars.


The Mermaid Theatre in the 1960s

This time, it was a rather spectacular celebration of the 80th anniversary of the first regular television service in the UK, hosted by the acerbic anchor-man of Radio 4's morning current affairs Today programme, Mr John Humphrys. From the BBC's own blurb for the programme (to be broadcast this Friday):
It all started on Monday, 2nd November 1936 from a make-shift studio in the south east wing of Alexandra Palace in North London; "Ally Pally" as it was and still is known today. It wasn't a new invention by any means - experiments had been on going around the world since the 1850s to perfect and broadcast television pictures. In this country the work of John Logie Baird pushed the way forward and this November day was momentous as it marked the start of the world's first regular television service: BBC Television. This title was to last until the arrival of the BBC's second television channel in 1964 and this first channel was re-named BBC One.

That first schedule featured a variety show with singer Adele Dixon, comedians Buck and Bubbles, Chinese jugglers the Lai Founs and the BBC Television Orchestra. There was also a new magazine programme Picture Page featuring switchboard girl Joan Miller. The broadcasts ran for just four hours a day. Small fare for the 15 thousand television sets receiving the pictures at the time. But there was much to look forward to - Tuesday's schedule offered a "display of Champion Alsatians" from the Metropolitan and Essex Canine Society Show, and Hollywood stars Bebe Daniels and Ben Lyons.

Since then, of course, there's been a media revolution - you can catch up, download and watch online. How old fashioned it seems to think that viewers made an appointment to watch our schedules. But the last 80 years produced a wealth of comedy, drama, music, documentary, sport, natural history and news programmes.

BBC Television's older sister service - BBC Radio - celebrates 80 years of great television and musical moments with the BBC Concert Orchestra conducted by Gavin Sutherland.
And "great moments" a-plenty there were, indeed!

We adore the spectacle of one of the best orchestras in Britain in full swing - all the intricacies of the plucks, toots and tinkles that make up the greater whole of every piece of orchestration laid out before us; all the running around (especially in the percussion section at the back), the swapping of instruments mid-flow, the tiny pieces being played on one instrument after another, even for the briefest of moments - and they certainly did us proud yet again, as they took the audience on a trip down memory lane. Among the many TV themes they played:

Vision On ("Gallery" theme; aka Left Bank Two):


Doctor Who [unfortunately on this occasion without either Matt Smith or the monsters]:


Ski Sunday:


The Sky at Night (Sibelius: At The Castle Gate):


Grandstand:


Inspector Morse:


Quatermass (Holst: Mars, Bringer of War from The Planet Suite):


One of my favourites [in every way] - Brideshead Revisited:


...and many, many more (including medleys from classic comedy shows like Morecambe & Wise, Two Ronnies, Terry and June, Are You Being Served, Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em, Last of the Summer Wine, Monty Python and the rest, American cop shows and current affairs programmes and documentaries such as The Blue Planet, themes from popular recent successes Strictly Come Dancing and Poldark, and some from very old classics such as Dr Finlay and Maigret)!

We had a fabulous time...

Friday Night is Music Night, the world's longest-running live orchestral music programme on radio.