The Bitch?

"Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine."



Well, she would say that wouldn't she? Happy birthday today to Joan Collins, that icon of tight-lipped screen bitchery, and inspiration for a thousand drag queens over the years...

Never one to take herself too seriously, our Joan's dubious acting credentials range from her time as what was so sneeringly referred to by Liz Taylor as "a Rank starlet" in cheap and nasty Steve Reeves movies, to shlock soft-core porn films such as The Bitch and The Stud, to Cinzano ads with Leonard Rossiter.

But her most impressive role, and the one that really engraved her in our hearts forever, was as Alexis, the ultimate in glamorous high camp in Dynasty! God, how we loved that show - the shoulder pads, the hats, the bitchiness, the wooden characters and plots...

"I loathe conflict, and I loathe not getting along well with people, so I always try very hard to be on the best terms with the people I work with."

And now, as Joan Collins OBE celebrates her 74th birthday, the tabloids slaver over her supposed real-life feud with former Dynasty co-star Linda Evans (who played the ultimate dull bland blonde, Krystle Carrington).

Lawsuits and lip-gloss are apparently flying as Joan accuses Linda of leaving her "bruised and beaten", and Linda accuses Joan of being "unprofessional". I love it! Read more about the on- and off-stage battle and more bitchiness here.



I hope Joan wins (as always happened in Dynasty) - you just can't keep an old trouper down!