Apparently, police in Derbyshire were today called in to investigate a suspicious buzzing package by their local post office, and promptly blew it up. It turned out to be a vibrator and some chocolates. Exploding dildo story
That well and truly fucked up HIS birthday surprise!
"Now listen here, you mullet. Why don't you just light your tampon, blow your box apart? Because it's the only bang you're ever gonna get, sweetheart!"
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