Thursday, 15 August 2019

Grachten, student totty, Drag Bingo, Naked Joe and a wervelstorm

We're back in circulation, dear reader, after a fantabulosa four-night break in Amsterdam with Baby Steve and Houseboy Alex (topped and tailed by our stay at their palatial residence Braintree Manor). It's somewhat disappointing (although we are not in the least surprised) that the bloody scaffolding is not yet down at Dolores Delargo Towers - but we are relieved nonetheless that the extensive gardens (apart from a couple of climbers blown over by the wind) appear not to have suffered too badly in our absence.

Speaking of absences, what did we miss while we were away..?

...Not a helluva lot, it would seem: Brexit, Brexit and more bloody Brexit; Trump's attempts to condemn white supremacists after two mass shootings in the US were met with accusations of hypocrisy; Nigel Farage laid into Meghan, Harry and the Queen Mum; anti-China protests continued in Hong Kong; and Xmas cards went on sale in Staffordshire! Far more exciting was the TORNADO that struck Amsterdam while we were there [we were nowhere near it, and didn't even hear about it till the last day]:

We missed celebrating the 110th anniversary of the birth of Alfred Hitchcock, the centenary of the maestro of Jazz Sir George Shearing, and that of Dino De Laurentiis (legendary producer of such movie classics as Barbarella, King Kong (1976 version), Dune and Blue Velvet, among many others; in collaboration with the likes of Federico Fellini, John Huston, Ingmar Bergman, Luchino Visconti, Ridley Scott and Michael Winner), the 96th birthday of Rhonda Fleming (star of Gunfight at the O.K. Corral and A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court - a true Hollywood survivor), what would have been the 80th birthday of the lovely and much-missed Kate O'Mara, and the 60th of Rosanna Arquette. Yesterday was also the 45th of the peerless Ana Matronic, former Scissor Sister, so I have a perfect excuse to play this (again) - one of the lady's finest moments...

And we did indeed "have a Kiki"! Endless FEBO and Van Dobbens, more gassy beer than I ever want to drink again in my life (till next year, of course!), sitting outside bars in the Red Light District watching the world (stoners, tourists, tall totty, bicycles, more stoners...) go by, wandering the grachts, and repeat.

One unexpected joy was the fact that the old town was slightly overrun by a host of beautiful "Bel Ami" looky-likeys, all in white shirts (fabulous when wet) and ties. It was something to do with the universities' fraternity "hazing" weekend, apparently. Whatever it was all about, it made for some very good ogling opportunities indeed!

We paid homage to "absent friends" at the Homomonument, and to the venerable Cafe 't Mandje; we enjoyed the typically Dutch cabaret at the ever-jolly Cafe Montmartre [we've been going there for years], had a few good evenings in the Queen's Head, and explored the dark corners of the Cuckoo's Nest - and had a hoot at the drag bingo hosted by "Dame Dora Royale" at another of our fave venues, Spijker Bar...

...ably assisted by our barman Naked Joe!

And finally, although we listened to a variety of different types of Dutch music in a variety of bars - from traditional schlager/levenslied to pop and dance - it is to a song that we brought back last year that we return once again to sum up the holiday [it's still hugely popular everywhere in the 'Dam].

All together, now!

Is it good to be back? Nee.


  1. looks like so much fun! naked joe should really remove that chalkboard...hope you had a great birthday!

    1. It was a great trip - and yes, we do have more of Joe to show. At some stage... Jx

  2. When contractors are telling you how long a renovation jobis going to take, they should be honest and just say "Too damn long."

    And all those blonde boys hanging out the windows! You could have walked up to them and announced you were part of the hazing. It could work.

    1. We were tempted to offer a "special" room service... Jx

  3. Looks like you had a good time!
    I think they might need an official chalkboard writer at the Spijker Bar, I am willing to offer my services.

    1. We did wonder where his rubber was. Jx

  4. It was indeed a marvellous 'Kiki'
    We are booked for next year, Yippee !

  5. What a fab four days you had! And just think, you could have had a free trip to Oz too, had you been across town...

    BTW, Dame Dora Royale looks shocked - Shocked, I tell you - at Naked Joe Bingo. Or has she just seen what's on the TV behind her?

    Right. I'm just off to watch "Let's Have A Kiki" again so I can see Del Marquis banging that tambourine like ony he can!

    1. I'm sure a house fell on some bitch somewhere, but we stayed firmly on course meandering up the grachten.

      The telly in Spyker Bar is always a joy - porn on one screen, Cartoon Network on the other - and 90% of the punters are watching... yes, the Disney!

      Mmmm - Del Marquis having a good bang at anything would be a feast for the senses... [Did you catch his attempt at a solo career, btw?]



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