The threat of bunting

A group of neighbours who loathe one another are holding a Jubilee street party out of spite.

Residents on a Colchester housing estate have been locked in an intricate network of bitter feuds for years, and are going ahead with a massive public get-together celebrating the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee as an act of warfare.

Mary Fisher of 34 Snowberry Grove said: “The local Facebook group is all sunshine and happiness, with an unignorable subtext of 45-year grudges and deep-seated hatred.

“When the idea for a street party was first floated by that twat in number 12 nobody wanted to back down. Instead we escalated the conflict with the threat of bunting, cakes, and long trestle tables to sit around despising one another.

“The bitchfest of the century is on. Come the day we’ll all be snidely remarking on each other’s tacky outfits and OTT patriotism. It’ll be like clapping for the NHS all over again.”

Martin Bishop of number 12 said: “Once the party is in full swing I’m going to make a noise complaint to the police. Watching them pack up early and head indoors will be the highlight of my year.

“Serve them right for laughing at my mum’s fairy cakes at the Silver Jubilee. Well who’s laughing now?”

The Daily Mash

Of course.