Give 'em the old Razzle Dazzle: Of micropenis, even faster fast-food, gold water, Chelsea Girl, books, pies and Scopitone

Wednesday, 4 March 2026

It's another snippets post, dear reader:

"How cute, a second belly-button" news: A competition no man wants to enter, let alone win: a North Carolina man has publicly claimed he has the world’s smallest penis, and he’s challenging anyone on earth to prove him wrong. "Get the fuck outta here!"

I wonder where they got that idea from? news: Purveyor of greasy pastry-based products Greggs has announced it will introduce vending machines for its products in some locations in the UK. Have they never been to Amsterdam? FEBO, anyone?

Fool's gold news: The Japanese city of Osaka has received a gift of gold bars worth 560 million yen (around £2,700,000) from an anonymous donor asking for its specific use: to fix its dilapidated water pipes. Copper not good enough?

Fa-fa-fa-fa-fashion news: RIP Bernard Lewis, founder of Chelsea Girl boutiques - that became River Island, still on our high streets today - who has died just after reaching his 100th birthday.

What's a book, Mummy? news: Tomorrow is World Book Day, the celebration of which generally revolves around teeny children dressing as their "favourite story-book character". Many people are beginning to question whether this actually succeeds in its aim to get more kids actually reading books at all. Or are they just posing for photos for their parents' Instagram?

Yum news: We're in the middle of British Pie Week - and my mission tomorrow is to go and buy one for our dinner! Steak & Kidney, Steak & Ale, Chicken & Ham? Choices, choices...

And finally: Among another oddly-matched assortment of birthdays, including Sir Patrick Moore, Paula Prentiss, Dieter Meier of Yello, Patsy Kensit, Chris Rea, Emilio Estefan, Joan Greenwood, Dame Penny Mordaunt, Alan Sillitoe, Miriam Makeba, Pearl White, Kenny Dalglish, Bernard Haitink, Sam Taylor-Johnson, Bobby Womack, Kay Lenz, Jos Verstappen, Chaz Bono, Mike Moran and - erm - Shakin'-bloody-Stevens, we find "Scopitone Queen" Miss Barbara McNair - and she's just what we need:

And the weather? Supposed to have been Spring-like and sunny, but all we got in London was greyness...