Wednesday, 25 March 2026

War against motorists?

A Dad is furious at his local council about potholes in roads and is apoplectic at the roadworks needed to fix them.

Martin Bishop, aged 61, regularly shares his fury on local Facebook groups about the local authority letting streets run to rack and ruin, but his blood pressure really spikes when stopped by temporary traffic lights.

He continued: “Am I paying my council tax for these jokers to sit on their arses all day, while potholes ruin lives and suspensions?

“Then they turn around and close a main road for two months, adding five minutes to my journey time which adds up. Put it together and over a year I’d be twelve hours late for squash. Is that in any way acceptable?

“People say ‘you’re retired Martin’ and ‘chill out Martin’ and ‘you don’t need to immediately drive to Asda every time we run out of nutmeg Martin’ but that’s not the point. The point is this council has taken up arms in a war against motorists.

“It’s all right for councillors with their free eco-friendly helicopters, but pensioners like me need to use our BMWs to get places. Don’t even get me started on their lunatic policies like ‘bus lanes’ and ‘school zones’.”

Council spokesperson Eleanor Shaw said: “We recognise that potholes and roadworks are a common source of frustration for residents, and invite them to use their fucking brains for two fucking seconds to connect the two.

“Also, we welcome and value Martin’s feedback.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

14 comments:

  1. Oh, dear. I was Martin Bishop the other day (just without the pensioner status, squash, BMW and trips to Chavda), fuming about the shitting roadworks going into Cromer and then finding more of them in the town itself! I bet they're not fixing the bloody potholes, though!

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    Replies
    1. Ah, the joys of sputtering and swearing behind the wheel. I haven't driven since the 1990s... No need ever to do so in London! Jx

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  2. Nice to see both sides of the pond have Martin Bishop's. And pothole issues. But there are worst things then potholes in town here. Namely myself. Who many tell me, I drive like Cruella De Vil.

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    1. And there's me thinking you were more Penelope Pitstop... Jx

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  3. Replies
    1. You make it sound like Little House on the Prairie. Maybe getting angry when your horse goes lame because of an unmarked railroad track is an equivalent? Jx

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  4. Replies
    1. Laura Ingalls: "You know something, Mary...?"
      Mary Ingalls: "No, what?"
      Laura: "Life sure is a lot easier when you don't like boys!"

      Jx

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  5. I live in a pothole that's rapidly becoming a lake. Boats might be the answer?
    Sx

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    Replies
    1. You live in a pothole? Are you a frog? Jx

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    2. There's more pothole than road outside my house!!
      Sx

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    3. Just be thankful it's not a sinkhole. Jx

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  6. Ours trains are good, but I'd need a car to get to the station!
    And I have let my license lapse as I have no intention of tangling with the road traffic here. Thousands of cars just in the small patch of Auckland where I live.

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    Replies
    1. As I said to Mr DeVice - with the public transport on offer in London, why would I ever drive? Where we are seems a bit of a way out from the centre, but within ten minutes from our house there's the Piccadilly Line tube into the West End, or in a slightly different direction the rail line that runs from Hertfordshire to Moorgate in the City of London, and from the end of our road you can catch a bus all the way to London Bridge... Jx

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