Monday, 23 April 2018

Cry 'God for Harry, England, and Saint George!'

The new Royal baby born on St George’s Day will be possessed with the spirit of King Arthur and is fated to save England, unless it turns out to be a girl.

Nationalists believe that the baby, born on the dragonslayer’s sacred day, is destined to become either a great leader who will conquer the whole of Europe by fire and sword or a princess.

Patriot Stephen Malley said: “He will emerge from his mother with a St George’s cross birthmark on his face, marked by Albion.

“As he grows he will prove himself a master swordfighter, a skilful tactician, and a boy who refuses to accept that we are a second-class nation, swearing to restore our country to greatness.

“Accepting the sword Excalibur, by his 16th birthday he shall ride up and down Britain to form a great army of true patriots, leading them through the Chunnel to lay waste to the EU and force its leaders to declare fealty to him in perpetuity.

“Then we’ll start building the fleet.”

He added: “A girl couldn’t do that. Come on, this isn’t Game of Thrones. You need to get out of your fantasy land.”
The Daily Mash

Of course.

"Patriots" needn't have worried, of course - it's a boy!

To celebrate the Royal sprog - and all things English (even though I am Welsh) - on this Tacky Music Monday, here's something appropriate(ish):

Have a good week, dear reader - and don't forget to raise a toast to little Prince Arthur, Albert, Frederick, James, Philip or whatever they decide to call him. Kanye? Verne? Zayn? Joaquin? Kendrick? Donald?!


  1. I was really pissed off at the Pope who struck George from the canon, even though George wasn't English and never even went to England. But I made a point of sticking a rose in my lapel, all the same.

    1. Indeed - he was supposedly Greek, possibly born in Turkey or Syria, and served in the Roman army. Highly appropriate for North London. Fewer dragons here, of course. Jx

    2. Cymru has the monopoly on 'em!

    3. I've had one or two in my time.

      You know the type - anger management issues, sulphurous breath, scaly skin, the lot. Jx

  2. Donald!! We haven't had a Dick for a while.


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