That's news to me

Another "snippets post" today, dear reader:

• Happy news: It's National Gardening Week here in the UK! Here at Dolores Delargo Towers, of course, it is "gardening week" every week of the year...
• Technology can't cope news: A 101-year-old woman keeps getting mistaken for a baby because of an error with American Airways' booking system!
• Know your history: Pizza isn't really Italian, and croissants aren't French...
• That'd take a lot of batter: The biggest freshwater fish caught on a rod in Britain, a whopping 143lb (64.4kg) catfish, was landed by an amateur angler after a 50-minute struggle in Maldon, Essex.
• Ophidiophobia news: Speaking of monsters - bones from one of the largest prehistoric snakes ever recorded have been discovered in India - measuring an estimated 36 to 50 feet long!
• And finally - a Terpsichorean triumph: Michael Flatley - whose Riverdance dance troupe stunned the world when they appeared as the interval act at the Eurovision Song Contest twenty years ago today - recalls being begged "not to embarrass traditional Irish dancing" by doing something that was not in their rules. The rest is history...

Riverdance (ESC, 1994)

The weather? Suddenly, gorgeous again..!

---

STOP PRESS:

RIP, Reader's Digest after 86 years...

The woman who upstaged Anita Ekberg

As you will know, dear reader, there is nothing we like better here at Dolores Delargo Towers than to discover a new "diva"! Signorina Chelo Alonso is certainly a name I'd never come across before...

From IMDB:

If you remember those "sword and sandal" spectacles that became the rage of Italian cinema during the late 1950s and early 1960s, then you will certainly recall this torrid brunette bombshell. Invariably cast as the ambitiously evil queen or undulating dancer/temptress whose sole mission was to entrance the film's hero, Chelo Alonso's "peplum princess" prime would be surprisingly brief but her memorable moves and over-the-top histrionics were reason enough to place her on the international sex symbol pedestal and earn her cult status. While her acting contributions would certainly attract no awards, she did earn the honour of becoming "Italian Cinema's Female Discovery" early in the game...

She first attracted attention with the film Sign of the Gladiator (1959) where her erotically-charged dance segment stole the thunder right from under the movie's top-billed sex star, Swedish siren Anita Ekberg.

Niche, perhaps, but, by heavens - she has all the right moves for a Tacky Music Monday wake-up call..!

Chelo Alonso in La ragazza sotto il lenzuolo (1961)

[Love the queeny choreographer!]

Chelo Alonso in Guardatele ma non toccatele (1959)

No wonder she was nicknamed the "Cuban H-Bomb" at the Folies Bergère!

Have a great week, dear reader.

Adriatic?

The weather here in London's turned to shit again...

...but, to take our minds off such drear and murk, let's instead wallow vicariously in the sunshine with impossibly glamorous people cavorting in exotic locations, courtesy of the ever-wondrous Soft Tempo Lounge, shall we..?

Soft Tempo Lounge - Adriatic Playground

Sigh. That's better.

[Music: Tony Kinsey - Malibu Beach; original film: The Sex of Angels (1968)]

Keith at Smile

It isn't often, to be honest, that my attention would be piqued by the appearance in the obituary columns of a hairdresser - but, in the case of Mr Keith Wainwright, who has departed for the great "Blow'n'Go boutique" in Fabulon, he deserves recognition.

Not only was he a pioneer of the "unisex salon" in the Swinging 60s (when his clients included Roy Wood, The Move, Cat Stevens, The Walker Brothers and Elton John)...

...but, at his salon Smile, he also developed the formula for "unnatural" hair colours, which became wildly popular during the Punk era in the late 70s! Derek Jarman recruited him to style his films, and it was thanks to his work on Jubilee that he developed a life-long friendship and working relationship with one of its stars Toyah Wilcox - creating most of her outlandish hairdos during her chart-dominating era in the 1980s [a sample of which is featured above]. Read her tribute.

Such was his fame among the trend-setters, he was simply referred to as "Keith from Smile" - and was even name-checked by the Pet Shop Boys in this simply faboo track from their 2012 album Elysium [here accompanied by a most marvellous video compilation by a super-fan]:

Pet Shop Boys - Requiem in Denim and Leopardskin

I thought it was like a film
reviewed but never seen
where everybody played themselves
as a drama king or queen
The music was overwhelming
glittering and thin
solemn and shabby like a requiem
in denim and leopardskin

I visualised the flashbacks:
school, punk rock, success
parties, too much of everything
the clichés, the candles, the mess

Lucien in the scene with David
Bryan in a tux
A copy of Ritz in Zanzibar
Old Hollywood redux
Ossie’s last collection
Biba’s closing sale
A little more rouge on the powdered cheeks
but the base is pale

This is our last chance for goodbye
Let the music begin
Shining and soaring like a requiem
in denim and leopardskin

It ended with a motorbike
a search for evidence
poring over old photographs
to make it all fake sense
Glamorous in its own way
Shouting above the din
Solemn and shabby like a requiem
in denim and leopardskin

Johnny’s wearing brothel-creepers
Malcolm’s round the block
Adam’s in a Jarman film
The look is “Let It Rock”
A Johnson’s leather jacket
Hair by Keith at Smile
All you need to make it big
is sex and style

This is our last chance for goodbye
Let the music begin
Shining and soaring like a requiem
in denim and leopardskin
This is our last chance for goodbye
Let the music begin
Shining and soaring like a requiem
in denim and leopardskin

RIP, Keith Wainwright MBE (October 1944 – April 2024)

Don't jump before you look

You know you're getting old when...

...you discover that the elfin Andy Bell of Erasure was 60 years old yesterday!

How fitting, as the joyful prospect of the impending weekend hoves into view, that we have an excuse (as if any were needed) to start the party with one of the great man's crowning glories!

Thank Disco It's Friday!

Erasure - Stop!

We'll be together again
I've been waiting for a long time
We're gonna be, we're gonna be
Together again
I've been connected to the right line
We'll be together and nobody ain't never
Gonna disconnect us or ever separate us
Or say to us you've got to

Stop!
Stand there where you are
Before you go too far
Before you make a fool out of love
Stop!
Don't jump before you look
Get hung upon a hook
Before you make a fool out of love

We'll be together again
I've been waiting for a long time
We're gonna be we're gonna be
Together again
I've been connected to the right line
We'll be together and nobody ain't never
Gonna disconnect us or ever separate us
Or say to us you've got to

Stop!
Stand there where you are
Before you go too far
Before you make a fool out of love
Stop!
Don't jump before you look
Get hung upon a hook
Before you make a fool out of love

We'll be together and nobody ain't never
Gonna disconnect us or ever separate us
Or say to us you've got to

Stop!
Stand there where you are
Before you go too far
Before you make a fool out of love
Stop!
Don't jump before you look
Get hung upon a hook
Before you make a fool out of love

Utterly faboo!

Many (belated) happy returns, Andrew Ivan Bell (born 25th April 1964)

Have a great weekend, dear reader!

The Prom, Prom, Prom! Where the brass bands play, "Tiddely-om-pom-pom!"

What do Daniel Barenboim, Doctor Who, Dvorak and Disco, Beethoven’s Choral Symphony, Benjamin Britten, Bruckner, Brahms and Burt Bacharach, Kirill Petrenko, The King’s Singers and the Kanneh-Masons, Sir Simon Rattle, Symphonie Fantastique, Sakari Oramo, Sarah Vaughan, Sam Smith and Smetana, Henry Mancini, Handel and Holst, Charles Villiers Stanford, CBeebies, Carmen and Clara Schumann, Antonio Pappano, Anne-Sophie Mutter, A Midsummer Night’s Dream and Angel Blue, the Paraorchestra, the "Pathetique" (Tchaikovsky's Symphony No 6), Purcell and Puccini, as well as Mendelssohn, Marisha Wallace, the BBC Singers, VOCES8, Fauré, Nick Drake, Dame Evelyn Glennie, Laura Mvula, Yo-Yo Ma, Stevie Wonder, Wynton Marsalis, Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue, Verdi's Requiem, Florence and the Machine, Jules Buckley - and Rule, Britannia! - have in common?

Yes, of course - the mightiest musical "festival" on Earth, the BBC Proms Season has been announced, and every one of  'em is in the mix of delights on offer...

The Proms 2024 is coming!

Read a basic guide to The Proms, its history and other associated bits'n'pieces, courtesy of Country and Town House magazine.

The comprehensive guide to the entire season on the BBC.

The Proms Season opens on 19th July, and the Last Night of the Proms is on 14th September 2024. Enjoy!

Another bit of sparkle has gone from our lives

Sad news, as we bid a fond farewell to a stalwart of the drag circuit in the UK for the last thirty years, Miss Jason - who has departed for the Cabaret Tent in Fabulon:

Miss Jason - Short Documentary

Cheers, dear!

RIP, Miss Jason aka Jason Sutton

Thought for the day

Kath & Kim.

A classic - now available on Netflix, for those of you who subscribe to it.

Red, white and blue, what do they mean to you?

[The real story]

Happy St George's Day to all our English chums!

Here, have an anthem...

Tiny Tim - There'll Always Be An England

---

PS

Hoist the flag would you, dear boy?

Don't make no lifer out of me

This is how I always greet a Monday. NOT!

Too soon, too soon. I'd hardly got in the "weekend mood", and here we are again. Same old shit, different day week.

Hey ho.

Among a raft of birthday celebrants that include Issey Miyake, Glen Campbell, Bettie Page, Kathleen Ferrier, Jack Nicholson, J. Robert Oppenheimer, Yehudi Menuhin, Vladimir Nabokov, Dame Ethel Smyth, Immanuel Kant, Henry Fielding, Charles Mingus, Peter Frampton, Donald Tusk, Aaron Spelling, and - erm - Vladimir Lenin, it's "The Pope of Filth" John Waters' birthday today!

On this Tacky Music Monday, we deserve this - a double-bill of Johnny Depp at his most gorgeous, in one of Mr Waters' finest films...

Johnny Depp [dubbed by James Intveld] - High School Hellcats [Cry-Baby (1990)]

Johnny Depp [dubbed by James Intveld], Amy Locane [dubbed by Rachel Sweet] - Please, Mr. Jailer [Cry-Baby (1990)]

Have a good week, dear reader.

Ooh, slip out the back, Jack

It's a bit of a slow day today, after another mammoth drinking-session-cum-Film-Club with our chums yesterday...

What better than some "Sunday Music", courtesy of our "house band" here at Dolores Delargo Towers [who we are going to see in the glittering London Palladium in a fortnight's time]?!

That'll do nicely.

Postmodern Jukebox ft. Ashley Campbell - 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover (Paul Simon New Orleans "Second Line" style cover)

We love Postmodern Jukebox!

Girl, I'll just forget you

Sigh. I love the 80s...

I'm heading off to Holborn later for another "gathering of the clans" at one of our semi-regular "Film Club" afternoon/evenings - but I am on a bit of a nostalgia kick today.

Can it really be FORTY YEARS since this one was in our charts [scraping the lower echelons thereof, admittedly]..?

Shannon - Give Me Tonight

I wonder what Miss Brenda Shannon Greene's doing these days?

What a set up, Holy cow!

I make no excuses for another gratuitous pic of sex god Tom Daley (wearing the new Team GB kit for the 2024 Olympics that was launched yesterday)!

A much-needed weekend is almost here, and I think we need to crank up the wireless and get into the party mood that normally greets the end of another week of drudgery..! Our gang actually has a "party" afoot, as we gather once again tomorrow afternoon in the Perseverance pub near Great Ormond Street in leafy Holborn for the first "Film Club" in ages.

On the list of prospective movies on offer (we tend to bring a few then choose the ones to watch by a show of hands) is one of my all-time favourite musicals Sweet Charity, so how about this version of one of its most famous numbers by Miss Linda Clifford and - ahem - a dancing robot?!

Thank Disco It's Friday!

Linda Clifford - If My Friends Could See Me Now

Bizarre.

Have a fab weekend, dear reader!

Arbitrary: based on random choice or personal whim, rather than any reason or system

We ask you: will you go in the shop and buy a 34-year-old cigarettes in two decades' time?

Outside  the newsagent in the year 2044 lurk two men in their early thirties. They hold up a £40 note and ask you to get them a packet of Silk Cut. Will you?

Bill McKay, smallholder: “No way. Smoking will stunt their growth.”

Susan Traherne, accountant: “Absolutely not. The law is the law, and the law has an arbitrary cut-off point of January 1st, 2009. I would light up, blow a lungful in their jowly faces, and tell them to piss off.”

Martin Bishop, hare courser: “Not me. Instead I would point them to someone who would do so on principle like Liz Truss or Kemi Badenoch, both of whom I expect will be hanging out down the precinct.”

Jim Bates, lighting technician: “Smoking is illegal for those mid-life reprobates. But I would get them rolling baccy for a good old English spliff, because that tradition must be kept alive.”

Hannah Tomlinson, hairdresser: “Can’t they just tell the shopkeeper the fags are for their dads?”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

Read the depressing-but-true news that PM Rishi Sunak - supposed champion of the freedom to choose, hence the "Eat Out to Help Out" scheme he launched between lockdowns - and his Tory government have introduced a new bill in Parliament that is worthy of the worst of the Tony Blair "Nanny State" years; to make it illegal for anyone born after 2009 to buy cigarettes in their entire lifetime!

Shocking abuse of power. Even New Zealand didn't get their own version into law... [And Rishi's one only got through its first reading with the support of the opposition Labour Party anyhow.]

I despair.

Ars Gratia Artis*

Another day, another centenary...

One hundred years today, three studio magnates reached a merger agreement - and the legendary Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer was born!

Famed for its glittering parade of stars over the decades - such icons as Greta Garbo, Clark Gable, Elizabeth Taylor, Rudolph Valentino, the Barrymores, Jean Harlow, Joan Crawford, Norma Shearer, Judy Garland, Robert Taylor, William Powell, Myrna Loy, Spencer Tracy, Katherine Hepburn, Lana Turner and Cyd Charisse (and so many more) all got their big break at MGM! - it was also the home of Tom and Jerry, Lassie, the Marx Brothers, and some of the biggest and campest Busby Berkeley productions.

This was the studio that was responsible for some of history's most-lauded films, including The Women, Doctor Zhivago, North by Northwest, Mrs. Miniver, Ben–Hur [both versions], National Velvet, The Postman Always Rings Twice, Jailhouse Rock, Waterloo Bridge, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Forbidden Planet, Mutiny on the Bounty [both versions], How the West Was Won, The Philadelphia Story, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Shaft, Where Eagles Dare, Westworld, The Hunger, Moonstruck - and hundreds more besides!

It is, of course, as the production house behind some of the most wonderful musicals ever made that we love MGM the most! Its back-catalogue includes Easter Parade, Annie Get Your Gun, On the Town, The Unsinkable Molly Brown, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Show Boat, Gigi, Meet Me in St. Louis, and these...

Judy Garland & co - We're Off To See The Wizard [Wizard of Oz]

Gene Kelly - Singin' In The Rain

The Band Wagon trailer

Gene Kelly and Leslie Caron - An American In Paris

Ann Miller - Too Darn Hot [Kiss Me, Kate]

Lesley Anne Warren - Chicago, Illinois [Victor Victoria]

Following the death of Louis B Mayer in 1957, the demise of the original company was palpable - with a number of buy-outs, reshuffles and bits sold off to the likes of Ted Turner, the involvement of dodgy businessmen and accusations of illegal operations, it went bankrupt in 2010 - despite having acquired United Artists, and with it the distribution rights for such cinematic behemoths as the James Bond and Rocky franchises. It survived the humiliation with a major buyout by its creditors, and finally MGM ended up in the hands of none other than Amazon, who bought it in 2021...

Let's hope that bodes well for its future.

["Ars Gratia Artis" = "art for art's sake" in English]

Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker

One of my favourite comedy routines - The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976)

Darlings! We have a centenary to celebrate...

Sharing a birthday (as he did) with another random selection of notables such as Spike Milligan, Sir Charlie Chaplin, Sir Peter Ustinov, Dusty Springfield [as featured yesterday], Georgian-era academic and collector Sir Hans Sloane, Dame Joan Bakewell, Kingsley Amis, Guy Burgess, Gerry Rafferty, Claire Foy (who's 40), Robert Stigwood, Bobby Vinton, Anya Taylor-Joy and (erm) Jimmy Osmond, Mr Henry Mancini was born one hundred years ago today!

A true musical genius, he wrote the music for numerous classic films and TV series such as Breakfast at Tiffany's, Days of Wine and Roses, The Great Race, Charade, Arabesque, Two for the Road, The Thorn Birds, 10, Victor Victoria...

...and these!

Henry Mancini - Pink Panther/Baby Elephant Walk/Peter Gunn Theme [Parkinson, 14th December 1974]

And here's possibly his most enduring standard, from the aforementioned Breakfast at Tiffany's:

Andy Williams - Moon River

A remarkable man!

Henry Mancini (born Enrico Nicola Mancini, 16th April 1924 – 14th June 1994)

If you peruse the people in the news, the people that the magazines all mention...

It's always a nightmare, after a lovely (and busy) weekend, to find it cut short by...WORK.

Ah, well, 'tis the necessary chore we do in order to pay the bills, and for holidays...

...and we have something to cheer us up - for, by a fortuitous turn of events, there's a Patron Saint to venerate!

Tomorrow would have marked the 85th birthday of the sublime Miss Dusty Springfield: icon, national treasure, and possessor of one of the finest voices in pop music history. But how, I hear you say, would the divine Dusty ever fit in with a Tacky Music Monday?!

Here's how!

Dusty Springfield on the Liberace Show (1969) [also featuring Millicent Martin and Phyllis Diller]

[Wait until around 8:30 for the real campery to commence...]

Dusty Springfield (born Mary Isobel Catherine Bernadette O'Brien, 16th April 1939 – 2nd March 1999)

Have a good week, dear reader.

Glamour and sunshine

In the Spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of...

Another sunny (if hazy) day. More pottering afoot.

How about more frolics in the company of impossibly glamorous people in exotic climes, courtesy of the geniuses of Soft Tempo Lounge? That'll do nicely!

Soft Tempo Lounge - Sunny Escapade

[Music: Polish Radio Orchestra - Sunny Escapades, Film: Satanik (1968)]

Grab a pack of cigarettes, and meet me on the porch

A view up my back passage today... [click to embiggen]

It's been a gorgeous Spring day in London, and I have spent hours in the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers pottering, splitting-up herbaceous plants, and generally basking in the sunshine.

Bliss.

My day was mainly accompanied by the mellow joys of BBC Radio 2 - but, surprisingly enough, this one - a recent triumphal "find" by Madam Arcati - was not on their playlist!

Can't imagine why...

Ashley McBryde, Caylee Hammack, Pillbox Patti - Brenda Put Your Bra On

Brenda, put your bra on, there's trouble next door
Grab a pack of cigarettes, and meet me on the porch
Marvin baby mama 'bout to catch him with a whore
Brenda, put your bra on (bra on, bra on)

I knew she shouldn't let that bitch watch her baby
I used to work with her at the Krystal
She always got them good shifts just 'cause she had good tits
And cut her shirts off at the middle

Brenda, put your bra on, it's just gettin' good
Shit's goin' down in the trailer-hood
Pants 'round his ankles, still sportin' wood

Brenda, put your bra on (bra on, bra on)
Brenda, put your bra on (bra on, bra on)

Well, did you hear that? There went the good dishes
I hope they don't knock out the cable
Ol' Suntan City won't look quite as pretty
When Gina puts that ass through a table

Brenda, put your bra on, there's trouble next door
Grab a pack of cigarettes and meet me on the porch
Marvin baby mama, put that whore on the floor

Brenda, put your bra on (bra on, bra on)
Brenda, put your bra on (bra on, bra on)
Put it on
Put it on, shit

Brenda, put your bra on, here comes Channel Four
We ain't never been on the TV before
Grab the marijuana, stick it down your drawers

Brenda, put your bra on (bra on, bra on)
Brenda, put your bra on (bra on, bra on)
Brenda, put your bra on (bra on, bra on)
Brenda, put your bra on

A classic.

I love it!

A hugging kissing fiend

TFIF! We're almost at another weekend, dear reader - and the party planning starts right here!

We are well overdue another feast for the senses, with one of the maestro Mr Bill McClintock's marvellous mash-ups, so without further ado...

...Thank Disco It's Friday!

Van Miracles - Unchained Love Machine [Bill McClintock mash-up: The Miracles vs Van Halen vs Ozzy Osbourne]

Have a great weekend, peeps!

Phallic-shaped straws and cock deely-boppers

Naturalist and national treasure Sir David Attenborough has turned his analytical eye to the brutal and feral rituals of the hen party.

“In order to mark the entry into womanhood of a 33-year-old accounts manager from Doncaster, the females are invited into a WhatsApp group. And so it begins.

“The hierarchy of the herd determines those convened to this time-honoured rite of passage, with the blondest taking primacy. Though there will be wise elders, such as mothers, workmates and nans, incapacitated by drink early.

“They become a source of awkwardness later once males – selected for their attractive plumage and physical strength – are assembled before the bride to engage in a traditional G-stringed mating dance symbolising the loss of her last vestiges of girlhood.

“As the pack stalks the raw, savage plains of Bradford, the hens assert their herd identity through the use of sashes bearing the words ‘Team Bride’. These prove that they have pledged allegiance to her for the duration of the ceremony and will swarm interlopers.

“The bride herself will wear a veil or superior sash to demonstrate her leadership. It is highly unusual for any of the hens to switch allegiance to rival brides at this point, but ever motivated by primal needs they may if pissed and a better party is going home.

“Sometimes the bride will also adorn herself with L-plates. This semiology serves to ward off any other potential mates and demonstrates that she will shortly lose her virtue to one particular male, ignoring the fact she slagged about for some years.

“Fertility symbols are crucial. Repeated reference to the phallus symbolise the young woman’s confidence in grappling with the challenges of marriage. An inflatable penis to ride upon, phallic-shaped straws, and cock deely-boppers all prove she has come of age.

“The ritual ends in the untamed jungle of nightclub ThrustZ where the women parade before males demonstrate their attractiveness to potential step-fathers of their young through the use of traditional mating calls, such as ‘Snog the Bride’.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

A-no place to roam

[No. Not that one...]

Sad news of the departure last weekend of the improbably-nicknamed Clarence "Frogman"* Henry to the Doo-Wop-a-Go-Go Rooms in Fabulon...

Who? I hear you ask. His moment in the spotlight was mainly in the 1950s and early 60s - and indeed his fame was such that he was the opening act for the Beatles during their tour of the US and Canada in 1964. This is probably his most popular and enduring hit:

Clarence "Frogman" Henry - I Don't Know Why I Love You But I Do

However, during my research into the man, I stumbled across this simply marvellous interpretation of his earlier, self-penned number!

Madeline Kahn - Ain't Got No Home

[Oh, how we loved that woman..!}

RIP, Clarence Henry II (19th March 1937 – 7th April 2024)

[*He apparently got the nickname "Frogman" because the way he used to perform was likened to "croaking", and he incorporated it into the lyrics of Ain't Got No Home]

Of knobs, Marc Almond and alpacas

It's another snippets post, dear reader...

• Memorabilia news: Soft Cell's original "break-up" LP This Last Night in Sodom is (gulp!) 40 years old this year - and this retrospective review by Matthew Lindsay at the ever-wonderful The Quietus is an excellent read! [Opportunely, Marc Almond's new solo album I'm Not Anyone is released this July.]
• Good news for makers of special sunglasses: "Eclipse fever" hit the USA last night, as everyone and their auntie was out staring at the celestial event. Cue the Triffids...

• Sad news for S&M queens: The gay artist Rex has departed for the great Mineshaft in the sky. He leaves a legacy of (mainly kinky) erotic drawings behind to rival that of Tom of Finland...
• More knob news: On 14th July at Chilfrome, Dorset, locals and visitors alike will descend upon the town to try their hand at knob-related activities. These include knob painting, knob and spoon races, knob darts and pyramids, and guess the weight of the massive knob. Organising committee member Ian Gregory said: "We are not doing knob eating this year, we don’t want people choking on a knob." Dorset Knob Festival returns!
• Soap news: Neighbours favourite, the long-serving stalwart "Harold Bishop" (Ian Smith) is due to return to the Aussie-soap-that-will-not-die [where Kylie Minogue, Margot Robbie, Russell Crowe, Natalie Imbruglia, Delta Goodrem, Jason Donovan, the Hemsworth brothers (Liam and Chris), and Guy Pearce all started their careers] this year, at the age of 85! He made his first appearance in the show in 1987, and last appeared as a regular character fifteen years ago.
• And, finally: An escaped herd of alpacas caused havoc when they wandered onto onto a busy dual carriageway in Cambridgeshire.

The weather? Shit again.

---

Closing headline - Soft Cell's last ever hit single from the aforementioned This Last Night in Sodom:

Soft Cell - Soul Inside

La fête à Séville

Sigh. It's been a splendid weekend - the Diva exhibition on Friday, and two days of warm (if very windy) weather, potting-on, refreshing and generally pottering in the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers. Now it's over, and the same old, same old joys of a working week resume.

There's larks and merriment on the horizon, however - we're off to Spain again in May! We'd already booked our apartment for a week in Benalmadena, but prior to that we are doing a little bit extra. Our hotels are now booked for day #1 in Seville, #2 in Cadiz, and #3 in Jerez! So, three cities (two of which we have never been to before) in a row, then off to city #4 (Malaga) on route to the Costa del Sol for our usual seven days of doing bugger-all by the Mediterranean...

Bliss.

In keeping with all that anticipated joy five weeks away, on this Tacky Music Monday I have just the thing...

I said when I posted this joyful number back in 2017: "...how can one resist the espectacular that is Raffaella Carra hosting a stage-full of crap flamenco dancers, children and safety gays, with a tribute to the music of Seville? Not me!"

Indeed!

Rafaella Carra - Popurri de Sevillanas

Have a good wek, dear reader.

We looked like nuts

"In my honest opinion we looked like nuts in those years. Nobody can have been as badly dressed on stage as we were." - Björn Ulvaeus.

It is fifty years this weekend since Abba stormed the previously stuffy old Eurovision Song Contest (held in 1974 in the UK's gayest city, Brighton, aptly enough), and embarked on a world-conquering musical journey in the process. Suffice to say, nothing quite like them nor their song Waterloo had ever been seen before...

Abba - Waterloo

My, my, at Waterloo Napoleon did surrender
Oh yeah, and I have met my destiny in quite a similar way
The history book on the shelf
Is always repeating itself

Waterloo - I was defeated, you won the war
Waterloo - Promise to love you for ever more
Waterloo - Couldn't escape if I wanted to
Waterloo - Knowing my fate is to be with you
Waterloo - Finally facing my Waterloo

My, my, I tried to hold you back but you were stronger
Oh yeah, and now it seems my only chance is giving up the fight
And how could I ever refuse
I feel like I win when I lose

Waterloo - I was defeated, you won the war
Waterloo - Promise to love you for ever more
Waterloo - Couldn't escape if I wanted to
Waterloo - Knowing my fate is to be with you
Waterloo - Finally facing my Waterloo

So how could I ever refuse
I feel like I win when I lose -

Waterloo - Couldn't escape if I wanted to
Waterloo - Knowing my fate is to be with you
Waterloo - Finally facing my Waterloo

Half a century ago? Gawd, I am old...

Reality is something you rise above

• "Unless you show off, you're not going to get noticed." - Elton John.
  [above: Elton's outlandish costume for his 50th birthday party in 1997; designed by Sandy Powell - so enormous, complete with model galleon atop the wig that emitted real smoke, that he had to be transported to the party in a removal van!]

Our "gang" went en masse to the V&A's opulent DIVA exhibition (before it closes next week) yesterday. It was my, Sal's and John-John's second visit, but a first for Madam Arcati and Hils.

Here are some (more) highlights...

• "I'm too busy putting my energies into my performance to be a diva." - Shirley Bassey.
  [top left: Dame Shirley Bassey's stage costume, complete with monogrammed wellies, from Glastonbury Festival in 2007]
• "To be good is to be forgotten. I'm going to be so bad I'll always be remembered." - Theda Bara.
  [top right: Theda Bara's costume from Cleopatra, 1917; possibly her own design]
• "For me, a diva is like the great opera singer, the great film star - out of reach, in their own world, with a real gift for invention: attention-demanding performance artists with a flamboyant, compelling sense of their own importance so special and inimitable it verges on the alien." - Grace Jones.
  [bottom left: Issey Miyake bustier worn by Grace Jones on stage (it's tiny!)]
• "I'm a curiosity in Hollywood. I'm a big freak, because I'm myself!" - Clara Bow.
  [bottom right: Clara Bow's costume from The Wild Party, 1929 - the only known surviving "flapper dress" worn by her - designed by Travis Banton]

• "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe.
• "I believe that it's better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked." - Mae West.
  [top left: Marilyn Monroe's "shimmy dress" from Some Like It Hot by Orry Kelly; also Mae West's diamante trimmed frock from I'm No Angel by Travis Banton]
• "When I sing, people shut up." - Barbra Streisand.
  [top right: Costume worn by Barbra Streisand in Funny Girl, 1968; designed by Irene Sharaff]
• "A woman has just as much right in this world as a man and can get along in it just as well if she puts her mind to it. I've lived by a man's code designed to fit a man's world, yet at the same time, I never forget that a woman's first job is to choose the right shade of lipstick." - Carole Lombard.
  [bottom left: Carole Lombard's frock from We're Not Dressing, 1934; by Travis Banton]
• “Until you’re known in my profession as a monster, you’re not a star.” - Bette Davis.
  [bottom right: Bette Davis' gown from All About Eve; by Edith Head]

• "Reality is something you rise above." - Liza Minnelli.
  [top left: Gown worn by Liza Minnelli in New York, New York; designed by Theadora Van Runkle]
• "Use your faults, use your defects; then you're going to be a star." - Edith Piaf.
  [top right: The (tiny) stage costume worn by Edith Piaf (on display alongside her comb, hairbrush and throat spray!)]
• "If I can't be me, I don't want to be anybody. I was born that way." - Joan Crawford.
  [bottom left: Joan Crawford's costume from Mildred Pierce, 1945; by Milo Anderson]
• "The only person I really believe in is me." - Debbie Harry.
  [bottom right: Outfit worn by Debbie Harry on Blondie's European tour, 1979; by Stephen Sprouse]

• “I’m sort of the patron saint of drag queens.” - Bob Mackie.
  [Stage outfits by Mr Mackie for Cher, Tina Turner, Cher and - um - Cher]
• "You're born naked, and the rest is Bob Mackie." - RuPaul.

Simply stunning...

[Madam Arcati enjoyed it so much he took every one of these photos - click any pic to embiggen.]