From our own correspondent:So the Northern Lights are back. Big fucking deal, you might say. Well, it is for those of us who blew four grand to see the fuckers in Norway seven years ago.
It was our wedding anniversary and I had big dreams. A week in New York watching the best of Broadway. The Grand Canyon. Seeing Venezuela’s Angel Falls with my own two eyes. But my wife had a better idea.
‘I’ve always wanted to see the Northern Lights,’ she said, and like a dick I agreed. So we paid a frankly staggering sum and headed to Tromsø for two weeks of 22-hour nights.
There was bugger all to do. A pint cost £18 and you couldn’t even buy booze at the weekend. I mean the mountains are impressive, but in that cold? You don’t stay out gazing at them.
Yes, when the clouds cleared and it showed up, the old aurora borealis was pretty impressive. Yes, we held mittens and convinced ourselves it was worth it. Yes, we showed everyone photos and bragged.
But now? When it’s in British skies every other Wednesday? When every prick and his kids can see them just by stepping into the garden? Well I look a proper arsehole, don’t I?
Norway? They’re marketing tours to see them in Wigan now: a pie, a pint and the Northern Lights. Up in Newcastle they’re just a colourful background to a fight in a taxi queue.
They’re common. So for our anniversary next year we’re off to Easter Island to see the mo’ai. Those bastards aren’t marching to in Doncaster any time soon.
Of course.
A couple of years ago my daughter, along with a couple of her gal pals, went up to Iceland to "experience the Northern Lights" in person! She was suitably impressed. Unfortunately, she now has a full set of never to be worn again you'll-never-freeze-your-ass-off clothes. I loved the post and thought y'all had actually done it, until I got to the end and saw it was from The Daily Mash! I should always remember to look at the end of your posts first, sweetpea! xoxo
ReplyDeleteHa! "Never to be worn again you'll-never-freeze-your-ass-off clothes" in California? That's what eBay's for! Jx
DeleteI can usually spot "The Mash" pretty quickly, but not today.
ReplyDeleteIt's a quirky one... Jx
DeleteHell, we had quite a show of the lights here! It was something to see.Usually when it happens here we are out of the shows line, but not last night...and it wasn't cloudy either. We should be able to see them again tonight.
ReplyDeleteI didn't see anything here - then again, we hardly have much of a view of the Northern skyline, what with the houses in-between... Jx
DeleteNever seen in Devon, unless you take a photo of the night sky with a slow shutter speed, which I think is cheating.
ReplyDeleteI have relatives in Sweden so I look at their photos instead.
Sx
Hardly worth trying when you're that far south, I guess! Jx
DeleteTotal waste in the Tropics! But I do remember seeing the Southern Aurora in NZ, around 1947. There was no modern light pollution then and I was frightened because I thought it was forest fire.
DeleteNow you're back in Kiwi-land, Dinah, maybe you'll see the lights again one day! Jx
Delete'Wigan - : a pie, a pint and the Northern Lights.'
ReplyDeleteNow that's more like it
Ah, "The Road to Wigan Pier". It sounds a bit grim to me... Jx
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