The ravings of an addled old man on a golf jolly

A US president’s suggestion that Ireland should reunify as soon as possible would have triggered riots, terrorism and political crisis if he were not a shite-spouting halfwit.

In any other circumstances than the president being a gaga eejit with no idea what he is even saying as it dribbles out of his mendacious mouth, the statement would have caused a major diplomatic row and significant unrest.

Taioseach Micheál Martin said: “Even the paramilitaries are calling bullshit on this one.

“Imagine if a proper president had said it. It would spark sectarian violence, angry disavowals from politicians, Andy Burnham desperately trying to calm things down. I mean, Belfast. It’s any excuse to throw a petrol bomb up there.

“But thankfully both sides were able to take into account this was nothing more than the ravings of an addled old man on a golf jolly and of no more import than a drunk mumbling in the corner of a Doonbeg bar.”

Emma Little-Pengelly of the DUP said: “And the way he said it? ‘One of the naturals of all time is to put them together’? Are we sure he wasn’t thinking of Sydney Sweeney’s diddies?”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

[As for his latest rant: "The only control or 'guardrails' that AI needs is a STRONG AND SMART (High IQ!) PRESIDENT, and the U.S.A. has that, in spades!" (which would have made me hoot - bar for the fact that he's so fucking deluded he really does think that ignoring the experts is wise) - The Mash has something to say about that, too!]

---

FOOTNOTE:

Speaking of rants, this is my latest missive to the bastard Google gnomes, using the "feedback" button on Blogger...

Congratulations! SEVEN DAYS - and the Blogger Reading List is still broken! SEVEN DAYS - and not one person in the whole of Google has said anything about it! No apologies. No press announcements. Nothing. It's as if people who use your systems are irrelevant. Sad, really.

They won't read it, nor will they do anything, of course - but it makes me feel better.