Only attractive people with toned, fit bodies are truly enjoying the summer.
The hot weather has been welcomed by winners of the genetic lottery as a chance to flaunt their good looks, unlike regular and ugly people who find it a test of endurance with added body-shaming.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “It’s no coincidence you mostly see stunners wearing bikinis in the park or frolicking in the surf. The Morlocks of society are all hiding away, luckily.
“Like squirrels in winter, anyone less than an eight effectively goes into hibernation during summer. And that’s a good thing. It’s better for their mental health that they avoid the parade of beautiful, nubile flesh they don’t have a chance of pulling.
“A few who lack self-awareness might try sunbathing, but fortunately society’s cruel mockery drives them safely back indoors.
“It’s important that hot people are left alone. Summer is their mating season. The last thing their fragile, sexy ecosystem needs is uggos killing the vibe with their weird, chunky bodies and pig-like faces.
“Admittedly, sexy people have a better time in spring, autumn and winter too. They’re just more noticeable when they barely have any clothes on.”
Attractive person Ellie Shaw said: “We’re not trying to exclude the runts. That’s why we bombard social media with our beautiful, unobtainable figures. You’re welcome!”
Of course.
I couldn't resist reposting this...
FOOTNOTE:
In complete contrast to yesterday's post, this one took just 40 minutes to show up in the Blogger Reading List.
Lo and behold - almost 24 hours after I published it, that post about our Amsterdam trip arrived at exactly the same time!
I despair.
What????? Your back already????? I didn't even have time to clean this house up yet!!! I thought you'd be gone at least a week.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile I didn't read the previous post yet...and it has yet show up in my reader or for that matter this one. I saw you posted on Mitchell's blog and thought...She is back...so popped over to see and Lo......
Don't bother with the dusting, dear. Just crack open the gin - and pass me Tom Daley. I need something to nibble on... Jx
DeleteOh, not Little Tommy Daley. Now that he's finished jumping in the water professionally, when Is he going to start up his OnlyFans? And I am perfectly willing to not expose my carcass as long as the beauties don't make me overhear their "networking" at the cafe in attempts at rustling up a tech job they are patently unqualified for.
ReplyDeleteIf he had an OnlyFans, I'd sign up!
DeletePersonally, I couldn't give a hit what anyone thinks. If I want to reveal my "rippling beer muscle" in public, put up or shut up! Jx
Ack, if they stay out in the sun for too long they'll end up dry and crinkly a lot quicker - just saying.
ReplyDeleteSx
To quote Patsy Stone: "Donatella: Tanned like an old kipper." Jx
DeleteI much prefer Tom Hardy to Tom Daley I really went off him when he published that knitting book. There I said it.
ReplyDeleteTom Hardy's handsome from the neck up, but those bloody tattoos make me heave.
DeleteGive me Tom Daley or Tom Holland any day! Jx
I shall not be wearing my bikini anytime soon, that's for sure.
ReplyDeleteThe cup size was always a bit too small. Jx
Delete