When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery

It's been a hell of a year for great shows - and Saturday's trip to see the latest in a series of Sacha Regan's all-male Gilbert & Sullivan operettas at Wilton's Music Hall, The Pirates of Penzance (or, The Slave of Duty) was an absolute triumph!

My sister and I had, of course, planned it as a treat for our Mother's 89th birthday and - thankfully - she loved it.

What's not to love, really, when the innate campery of this G&S proto-pantomime is enhanced by the fact that all parts - be they "butch" pirates [led by the very lovely Tom Newland as "Pirate King"], comedic policemen or pretty maidens - are portrayed completely in character by a troupe of cute young men? This is not drag; the audience is invited to suspend disbelief and - with some near-perfect operatic voices on show, not least the falsetto/soprano of Luke Garner-Greene as "Mabel" - it all-but succeeds.

The story? Typically improbable - the ENO handily sums it up thus:

...so let’s get this straight: there are pirates, who take pity on orphans, and are really peers of the realm. There’s a 21-year-old called Frederic, who has sworn to put the pirates behind bars, and is really only 5. And there are policemen, whose lot is not a happy one, and are really, really hopeless at foiling felons... Got that?

Confused? You will be. Basically, everyone's pretty inept, and it is around such characters all good farcical comedy revolves!

The Nurse "Ruth" [played with aplomb by Robert Wilkes], being a bit deaf, mistook "apprenticeship as a pilot" with "pirate", and that's how the poor lad got there in the first place:

Patricia Routledge - When Frederic Was A Little Lad [New York Shakespeare Festival, 1980)

Frederic [played by chisel-jawed Cameron McAllister] is a bit of a wuss, and after finding out that not all women look like Ruth, goes and falls for the first girl he sees (or rather she, alone among her sisters, allows him to woo her):

Kayla Wilkens, Vegas City Opera - Poor Wand'ring One

The Major-General [the girls' father, played to perfection by David McKechnie] is good at everything... except his job as head of an army:

Douglas Chamberlain - I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General [Stratford Festival, Canada, 1985]

[Lyrics here if you want to sing along]

...and as for the policemen [who, led by Lewis Kennedy, at Wilton's all had false moustaches on sticks and the most comical choreography], well, the Pirate King had them quaking in their boots!

Tony Azito - When A Felon's Not Engaged in His Employment (A Policeman's Lot Is Not A Happy One)

Farce and campness abounds! Frederic's belief that he owed no further duty to the pirates - and would therefore become their foe - comes unstuck when Nurse reveals that he was born in a leap year on 29 February, therefore his 21st birthday (at which his indenture to them would end) is not technically due until 1940.

The Major-General's pretence at being an orphan, and therefore not a target for the pirates, comes unstuck - and they mount a raid (much to the dismay of the policemen) on his house and his daughters. Suddenly, at the point of a sword, the Major-General swears an oath to Queen Victoria, the pirates all bow to their knee, and their real-life noble birth is revealed. They all go off to Westminster, the daughters as brides, Frederic is free to wed Mabel, and they all live happily every after.

Whew.

Brilliant comedy, brilliant players, superb choreography - it was a tremendous production all round! We agreed, this was one of those shows we'd cheerfully go and see again.

Unfortunately Pirates of Penzance is only at Wilton's Music Hall until Sunday 23rd November 2024, before it's off continuing its tour of the country. Catch it if you can!

[All photos: Mark Senior]