Conscious, sentient and bricking-it

NASA’s Dart probe has crashed into and killed the first emerging specimen of alien life, it has been confirmed.

The direct hit on the Dimorphos asteroid, intended to change its course to test whether dangerous objects could be redirected, has detected then eradicated the first extraterrestrial life found in the universe.

A NASA spokesperson said: “What are the odds? But yes, there is life out there. Or was.

“The Dart’s onboard camera, when viewed in close-up and slow motion, shows an alien life form poking its head out of a crater before taking a $325 million space probe right in the kisser.

“There it is, that grainy, woodlouse-looking thing staring straight down the lens. Preliminary analysis shows that it is conscious, sentient and bricking-it, which is fair enough because it’s about to die.

“If it wasn’t alone, hopefully the aliens won’t hold this unprovoked murder against us. Though it’s hard to see how they wouldn’t because from their perspective this was a guided missile launched directly at their mate.

“Let’s just on the positives: humanity is not alone in the universe. Though technically slightly more alone than previously. Sorry everyone.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

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