This is it!

The weekend looms ever closer...

...and it's time for a celebration! Another notable "birthday girl" this week was the very lovely disco queen Miss Melba Moore, who was 80 on Wednesday.

Facts about Miss Moore:

• Her mother was a singer, her birth father was a bandleader and her step-father was a jazz pianist, so it was inevitable that music would be her chosen career.
• She started out as a backing vocalist for the likes of Frank Sinatra and Aretha Franklin.
• She succeeded Diane Keaton in the lead role in Hair on Broadway in 1969.
• In her long career, she won a Tony for her role in the musical Purlie, three Grammy nominations for her music, and in 2023 received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Not exactly a "household name" here in the UK, admittedly - she only ever had two Top 20 hits - but this one is the one for which she will be eternally remembered. Thank Disco It's Friday!

Melba Moore - This Is It

Many happy returns, Melba Moore (born Beatrice Melba Smith, 29th October 1945)!

---

Meanwhile...

Today is Samhain, Calan Gaeaf, Dziady, Allantide, Hop-tu-Naa, The Season of the Witch - it's Hallowe'en!

Even the Pet Shop Boys have got into the spirit...

Pet Shop Boys - It's A Sin (Bryce Miller Monster Mix)

...however, it is this clip that is my unending tradtion at this time of year, knowing full well that is scares my dear sister witless, every time:

The Return of Count Yorga

Careful who you bite, dear reader - and a have a fab, spooky weekend!

Me siento como una niña

"Ahora no soy tan niña, pero me siento como una niña."
["I'm not a little girl, but I feel like one."]

Last week, it was all about Celia Cruz. Today, we celebrate the 95th birthday (yesterday) of another beloved Cuban diva Omara Portuondo. The main difference? Señora Portuondo is (happily) still with us!

Although her career as one of Cuba's most popular singers stretches back to the very early 1950s, it's probably for her work with the fabled Buena Vista Social Club for which she is best known - although her solo album from back in 2000 is a cherished part of our extensive music library here at Dolores Delargo Towers.

Here are some examples of her sublime talent, four your delectation:

Ibrahim Ferrer and Omara Portuondo - Quizas

Omara Portuondo - El Hombre Que Yo Amé [The Man I Love]

Omara Portuondo - La Sitiera

I could listen to her forever.

¡Feliz cumpleaños, Omara Portuondo Peláez! (born 29th October 1930)

---

STOP PRESS:

I just discovered that the great lady has a new album out, featuring duets and collaborations with artists such as Angélique Kidjo... I wonder if HMV will be stocking that one on its shelves? If so, I'm off to buy it!

Boo!

Care home workers are struggling to decorate their premises for Halloween without reminding residents of their imminent demise, it has emerged.

Staff at the Shady Oaks Care Home in Taunton have realised that furnishing the premises with fake skeletons, ghosts and coffins may be a bit too close to reality for its elderly residents.

Carer Joanna Kramer said: “It dawned on me as I was putting up headstones in the garden: the afterlife is the one thing we’re all trying not to dwell on.

“Sure, Halloween makes death look like a fun, spooky adventure. But when your zombie makeup bears more than a passing resemblance to the people you’re caring for, you feel a bit tasteless.

“It’s not just insensitive, it’s bad for business. If we take the scares too far by jumping out and shouting ‘boo’ while dressed as a ghost, our entire income stream could perish in an instant.

“Maybe we should lean into their fears which don’t border on the supernatural. Dressing up as an illegal immigrant or trans person could be a more appropriate way to freak them out.”

Resident Margaret Gerving, 93, said: “The only thing I’m scared of is continuing to live in this underfunded shithole. Bring on the sweet release of death, I say.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

Of big cakes, robots, gays, Home Counties and Elsa's gazebo

Someone left the cake out in the rain...

It's another snippets post, dear reader:

• Hartelijk gefeliciteerd, Mokum! news: Almost at the culmination of 750 hours of events and festivities [including Sail Amsterdam, which we saw in August], the 750th anniversary of the founding of Amsterdam was celebrated in Dam Square at 7.50am on Monday with a 75 metre strawberry sponge and cream cake (pictured above). There was enough, apparently, for 7500 slices, and residents queued in the rain for hours for a taste. Proost!
• Showroom Dummies news: A collection of rare memorabilia, possessions and other artefacts once owned by Kraftwerk's Florian Schneider is heading for auction on 19th November, including his suitcase synthesiser, his flute and his vocoders, personal effects, photographs and even the bike he rode in the Tour de France video!

• RIP, Björn Andrésen, aka the "most beautiful boy, Tadzio" in Death in Venice. He was a bit too creepily androgynous for me, tbh.
• Pride not Profit news: Manchester Pride has gone bust, owing thousands of pounds to suppliers, vendors and every one of the performers last year. It blamed low ticket sales. In 2024, they were charging £37.50 for a weekend ticket or £41 for a single-day ticket. We could get a West End theatre seat or a flight to Malaga for that. Incompetence? Or just greed..?
• About time we got proper royal patronage news: HM The King paid tribute to gay armed forces veterans at the unveiling of a new memorial commemorating those British service personnel who were forced to keep their sexuality a secret, and those who were ousted for being gay. [NB The acronym "LGBT" - that every media outlet seems to use when reporting on this story, or in fact on anything gay - is inappropriate in this context. Transgender people were not explicitly barred from serving. The ban was on gays and lesbians. There is no record of anyone being thrown out of the forces for being transgender; even now there are fewer than 10 transgender individuals in the whole of the British Armed Forces. Facts.]
• Farewell to Surrey news: The historic County of Surrey faces a bit of a shake-up, as its county council and 11 borough and district councils will all be abolished in favour of two administrations, East and West Surrey. Sir John Betjeman is spinning in his grave as we speak...

• And finally: Among a whole host of random fellow celebrants including Evelyn Waugh, Dame Cleo Laine, Julia Roberts, Dame Joan Plowright, Auguste Escoffier, David Dimbleby, Suzy Parker, Gwendoline Christie, Bill Gates, Jane Alexander, Francis Bacon, Edith Head, Peter Hitchens, Hank Marvin, Matt Smith, Caitlyn Jenner, Joaquin Phoenix, Bernie Ecclestone, Wayne Fontana, Stephen Morris of New Order, and Czechoslovakia...

  ...it's our Patron Saint Elsa Lanchester's birthday! She wasn't just "The Bride of Frankenstein", you know, she also sang bawdy Cockney Songs, and we love them...

Elsa Lanchester - If You Peek in My Gazebo

Elsa Lanchester - Linda and Her Londonderry Air

And the weather? Remarkably mild and sunny for Hallowe'en week...

I can face a new tomorrow, if I make it past today

Monday again...

It's a blustery day out there and, as we prepare to haul ourselves out into it for another edifying week at work, we need something jolly to cheer our spirits...

...so let's start the countdown to Hallowe'en this week, who better on this Tacky Music Monday to provide a pick-me-up than... Morticia Addams?!

Bebe Neuwirth - Just Around the Corner (from The Addams Family musical)

Death is just around the corner
Waiting patiently to strike.
One unplanned electrocution
That's the kind of end
I can comprehend.

When I'm feeling uninspired
Or I need a little spree
I'm reborn knowing
Death is just around the corner
Coming after me.

Death is just around the corner
Waiting high upon the hill
Someone buried in an avalanche (gasp)
That's the kind of fig
I can really dig.

Marriage often disappoints you.
Not each husband is a gem.
So I'll mourn
Knowing death is just around the corner
Coming after them.

If life were plums
I'll muddle through some.
But when death comes
I hope it's gruesome. (hot-cha)

Some people die from public stoning,
Faulty wiring, faulty zoning,
Cherry pits they didn't know were there.

It could be by a jungle cat
A slippery mat.
A baseball bat.
Perhaps an unsuccessful love affair.

It could be on a speeding train,
It could be underwater.
It could be too much Novocain
Or even by your daughter.

Perhaps a bad mosquito bite.
A title fight.
Religious rite.
My darlings, it might even be tonight.

Death is just around the corner
No one's ever been immune.
Turning off a respirator
With a simple click
Strenuously quick.

I can face a new tomorrow
If I make it past today.
I feel good saying
Death is just around the corner
Simply on its way.

Death is just around the corner
And you have to be enthralled.
For your death is just around the corner
Happy being both the mourned and mourner
Because death is just around the corner
Coming for us all.

Have a good week, dear reader.

Sweet things?

After all the build-up I gave it yesterday, John-John's plans for a sort-of-"spooky"-themed Film Club afternoon/evening (to include Bette Davis in The Anniversary and Witches of Eastwick) were dashed, when we could not get Hils and Crog's DVD player to play any sound through the telly in the function room at the pub. So we ended up watching Carry On Screaming on a free streaming service instead [which went down very well, actually], but, concentration levels diminishing in direct proportion to the quantity of alcohol consumed [we were there from about 1.30pm till closing time!], the rest of the evening was mainly music videos. It was a fun "family gathering", nevertheless!

Today, taking full advantage of the extra hour in bed thanks to the clocks going back, we eventually ventured off to the garden centre to buy Spring bulbs and wallflowers to brighten up the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers next year.

Meanwhile, how about some suitable "Sunday Music", courtesy of the geniuses at Soft Tempo Lounge, and some very peculiar fashions indeed?

Soft Tempo - Fashion '71

Groovy!

[Music: Barbara Moore - Sweet thing/Feel fine/Feeling free. Footage: 1971 Fashion Awards - BBC Archive]

God! What kind of a woman do you think I am?!!

We're off to another of our fave pubs The Perseverance (near Great Ormond Street hospital in Bloomsbury) this afternoon, for another "gathering of the clans" at one of our irregular "Film Club" events.

This one is to mark John-John's birthday (next Thursday) - and given the impending spookiness of the Hallowe'en season, we'll be treated to not only The Witches of Eastwick (a beloved slice of campery), but also one of Bette Davis's most arch-camp-evil roles in The Anniversary:

Bette Davis in The Anniversary

Delicious!

Don't wanna dream about you baby

Over the past couple of days, we've been battered by "Storm Benjamin" - rain, gales, the lot. Today, it's clear as a bell out there, and really chilly. Autumn's set in...

Never mind, eh? Weather or no weather, the must-have party "look" this week is cream flared-trouser suits with crazy scalloped contrast-piping collars, shirts open to the clavicle - so get practising those moves and funk along with the wonderful Trammps!

Thank Disco It's Friday!

The Trammps - Hold Back The Night

Gulp. That classic choon is fifty years old this week...

Have a faboo weekend, dear reader!

Take a look at my face for the last time

Shocking news - Dave Ball, the maestro behind the music of Soft Cell (and later The Grid) has died, aged just 66!

• Read music journo Alexis Petridis' tribute in The Guardian

Very sad - I met him a couple of times, thanks to an old Polari chum Celine Hispiche who sang in a band of which he was a key member, and he was gruff-but-friendly, as one might expect.

By way of a tribute, this:

Soft Cell - Say Hello, Wave Goodbye

I'm waving goodbye - to Mr Ball, and to the end of an era...

Klaatu barada nikto

Six-seven, and other bullshit Gen Z slang that's hurting them more than us

Six-seven is what the kids are saying, and you’re supposed to care. But does the new generation’s race for fresh online slang just make them easier to ignore? Let’s assess:

‘Ate’
To do something well, as in ‘ate and left no crumbs’. ‘Ate’ on its own is a pretty dull word, so it’s unlikely to catch on. Give it no further thought and leave youngsters to become as socially irrelevant at the tender age of 14 as someone saying ‘Talk to the hand!’ today.

‘Six-seven’
Making up meaningless words to annoy people is the act of a twat. When a teen uses this, reply to subsequent questions with your own gibberish. Meet ‘Can you give me a lift to Emma’s?’ with ‘Klaatu barada nikto’ and see if they think that’s fucking funny.

‘Chopped’
Meaning ‘ugly’. A gratuitous substitution. If Gen Alpha and Z continue like this they’ll ultimately become incomprehensible even to each other, leaving them all wandering around aimlessly, unable to organise simple things like getting pissed in the park because it comes out as: ‘Fish manga cubit swindle lathe ocelot, Josh?’

‘Mewing’
Popularised by a kid called the Rizzler – don’t bother Googling the little shit – this is holding your tongue against the roof of your mouth to improve your facial structure permanently. There is no fucking way this works and if you do it, you are wrong.

‘Washed’
As in washed-up, which Gen Z are surprised the pop singers they ran a stan IG about three years ago are now because they haven’t had another hit. Happens to us all, kids. Specifically it will absolutely happen to you.

‘Generational’
Replacing ‘iconic’ as the misused word to describe anything they believe is good. ‘Sabrina Carpenter had a generational run’, for example, about three singles last year one of which you’re already struggling to recall the tune or title of.

‘Onika burger’
A version of ‘ate’ but referencing Nicki Minaj’s real name Onika and the phat ass she supposedly acquired from burgers. Its appeal is that it’s nonsensical and confusing to those not in on the joke. So by thinking ‘fuck right off’ you’re playing into their hands.

‘Sigma’
Someone who is successful and self-reliant, but unlike an ‘alpha’ he acts as a ‘lone wolf’. We definitely need more words to encourage the macho fantasies of delusional men, so enjoy watching this tosser discover he’s as mediocre as anyone else.

‘Fanum tax’
Playfully helping yourself to someone else’s food. Admittedly handy to have a term for, just not this one. Named after Fanum, a Twitch streamer who adopts a character for his videos. He won ‘Best Roleplay Streamer’ at the 2023 Streamer Awards. Generational.

‘Pookie’
Means cute and doubles as a term of endearment. It’s shit, cloying and embarrassing, but saying it is its own punishment. It won’t take most people long to realise they don’t actually want to have sex or a relationship with a bellend who calls them ‘Pookie’.

The Daily Mash

Of course.

Ay, no hay que llorar, que la vida es un carnaval - ¡es más bello vivir cantando!

[click to embiggen]

Simply because one can never have too much Celia Cruz...

We had a stupendous time at the Cadogan Hall last night for the centenary Celebration of Celia Cruz, courtesy of a very talented ensemble indeed, Orchestra Mambo International!

Not only are they superb instrumentalists - trombone, baritone sax, trumpets, bongos, drums, güiro, maracas, guitar, piano and vibraphone, the key components of salsa music, all played to perfection - but they had on the bill a trio of utterly wonderful singers: Yuri Moreno, Juanita Euka, and - probably best of all, mainly because he held everything together so well from beginning to end - the band's lead singer Carlos “Pachanga” Peña. 

It was the ladies, however, upon whom the spotlight shone, as they took it in turns to perform as "Celia" on a whole raft of songs from her back catalogue...

... and here's a fine example:

Orchestra Mambo International - La Vida es un Carnaval [centenary Celebration of Celia Cruz, 21 October 2025]

Orchestra Mambo International - La Vida es un Carnaval, part 2 [centenary Celebration of Celia Cruz, 21 October 2025]

We have been to the Cadogan Hall (a crown amongst the riches of Chelsea) many times before, and this is the very first time we have seen the entire audience - of all ages, creeds, colours and class - take to their feet and dance like there was no tomorrow! On a Tuesday night, no less!

¡Azucar!

Celia would have been proud.

["Ay, no hay que llorar, que la vida es un carnaval - ¡es más bello vivir cantando!" = "Ay, there's no need to cry, because life is a carnival - it's more beautiful to live singing!" in English.]

Of diadems, non-chocolate, clocks, otters, cider and seamen

The jewels stolen from the Louvre. Top row from left: a necklace and pair of earrings from Napoleon’s wedding gift set to Marie-Louise; Empress Eugénie’s brooch; a sapphire and diamond tiara, necklace and earrings. Bottom row: Empress Eugénie’s decorative bow and diadem. I'd wear 'em all! [click to embiggen]

Another snippets post, dear reader:

• If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit, try another brand news: Two of the UK's favourite vintage sweet biscuit bars Club and Penguin are no longer allowed to be called chocolate, because their coatings contain so little of the stuff nowadays!
• Time, clock of the heart news: Network Rail has announced the launch of a new national railway clock, to be installed at all major stations up and down the country. Woo-hoo.
• Fruit news: Today is Apple Day - an annual celebration of apples and orchards, in their harvest season. Events include apple tasting, identification of obscure apple varieties, and celebration of all the benefits of apple growing. Apples form part of my five-a-day, of course. At least, pints of cider do...
• Aggressive surfer news: A rogue sea otter has been hijacking surfers in California, and taking a ride on their boards!

• And, finally: Happy Trafalgar Day! We know a song about that, don't we, children?

The Billy Watson Band and Singers - All The Nice Girls Love A Sailor (Ship Ahoy)

All the nice girls love a sailor
All the nice girls love a tar
For there's something about a sailor
Well, you know what sailors are

Bright and breezy, free and easy
He's the ladies' pride and joy
Falls in love with Kate and Jane
Then he's off to sea again

Ship ahoy, ship ahoy!

Born to be crass, a loud brassy tart

Our Great Earth Mother, our Patron Saint of Sleaze - Divine would have been 80 years old yesterday!

On this Tacky Music Monday, if this doesn't wake you up, nothing will...

Divine - Born To Be Cheap

Cheap, cheap
I was born to be cheap, cheap
A child no mother could keep, cheap
As sure as there's trash
I was born to be cheap

I was born to be helpless, I was born to be cold
I was born to never do what I'm told
I was to be shallow, wasn't born to be deep
Of all the things I was to be cheap

Cheap, cheap
I was born to be cheap, cheap
A child no mother could keep, cheap
As sure as there's trash
I was born to be cheap

I was born to be crass, a loud brassy tart
No one can accuse me of having a heart
I was born too fast

I don't do it twice with anyone, GET CHEAP!

Cheap, cheap
I was born to be cheap, cheap
As I'm walking down the street, cheap
I'm always too much
I was born to be cheap!

I think I'll have those lyrics recited as my eulogy when I go.

Have a good week, dear reader!

Divine (born Harris Glenn Milstead, 19th October 1945 – 7th March 1988)

---

PS

Happy Diwali!

Dress-up dolls

It's been a miserable, dank, rainy Sunday here at Dolores Delargo Towers, and I haven't even felt the need to get dressed, let alone venture out of the house or garden.

What we need in such circumstances is a good wallow into the glamorous lives of impossibly gorgeous people in exotic situations, courtesy of the ever-wonderful Soft Tempo Lounge...

Soft Tempo Lounge - Paper Dolls

Ah, that's better...

[Music: Luiz Bonfá - Window Girl]

Wednesday on Saturday

Finally - I caught up with series #2 of the wonderful Wednesday, with another "geek viewing" afternoon at John-John's. Utterly superb!

Such a wealth of good actors in this show - Jenna Ortega's superb in the title role, Catherine Zeta-Jones gives even Anjelica Huston a run for her money as "Morticia", there's a surprising return for the magnificent Gwendoline Christie as "Principal Weems" (who was definitely dead in series #1), and I was particularly taken with Evie Templeton as newcomer "Agnes"...

...but [and I'm with Mistress Maddie on this one} it is Dame Joanna Lumley as granny "Hester Frump" who really steals the show in every scene in which she appears! Here's a little taster:

Wednesday - Blind urn challenge with Hester Frump

Oh - and among the raft of interesting music played on the soundtrack - this!

The Hampton String Quartet - Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) - Wednesday, series 2

Essential viewing, methinks.

It's grey, it's grey

Hoorah! A much-needed weekend hoves into view.

I'm off to John-John's tomorrow for a mammoth catch-up/binge-watch of the second series of Wednesday, and I can't wait for that...

...but meanwhile, let's don our gold skintight spandex jeans, grab a sparkly top, and boogie with La Belle Epoque!

Thank Disco It's Friday!

Belle Epoque - Black Is Black

Have a great weekend, peeps!

¡Te quiero!

Dame Angela's not the only beloved diva with a milestone anniversary today [see the Dolores Delargo Towers Museum of Camp]!

There's also Señorita Carmen Sevilla, who would have been 95...

Carmen Sevilla - Te quiero, te quiero

...and Miss Sugar Pie DeSanto, who would have been 90:

Sugar Pie De Santo - Rock Me Baby

Diva overload!

All that's left of the dreams I hold

Timeslip moment again, dear reader...

Our trusty TARDIS (in the capable hands of the newly-regenerated Third Doctor, Jon Pertwee) has materialised in an ancient, far-flung land - that of 1970 - the year the Beatles announced their break-up, of the Apollo 13 near-disaster, Prime Minister Edward Heath, the devastating Peruvian earthquake, Lord Laurence Olivier, Jesus Christ Superstar the album, the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, The Banana Splits, Bernadette Devlin, UFO, Willy Brandt, the rabies scare, The Female Eunuch, Palestinian plane hijackings, Ska, President Nixon, The Goodies, the Aswan High Dam, Wand'rin' Star, Thor Heyerdahl, The Railway Children, the Isle of Wight Festival, compensation for Thalidomide victims, Mungo Jerry, A Question of Sport, the East Pakistan cyclone disaster, Vietnam, the The Sun's Page Three girls, Bridge Over Troubled Water, Ian Paisley, The Six Wives of Henry VIII, the Kent State massacre in the US, Northern Soul all-nighters, Dana All Kinds of Everything, Commonwealth Games, Tony Jacklin, and the disruption of the Miss World contest by Women's Libbers.

It was also the year that Matt Damon, Naomi Campbell, Queen Latifah, Joseph Fiennes, Simon Pegg, Uma Thurman, Claudia Schiffer, Guyana, Armand Van Helden, NatWest bank, Virgin (Records), Christopher Nolan, Jason Orange, M. Night Shyamalan, Tonga, Neil Hannon, Andre Agassi, the Glastonbury Festival, River Phoenix, the Pascal programming language, Alexander Armstrong, the Range Rover, and the Gay Liberation Front in the UK were all born; and the year Gypsy Rose Lee, E. M. Forster, Charles de Gaulle, President Nasser of Egypt, Bertrand Russell, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Tammi Terrell, "Jack Walker" in Coronation Street and the Half Crown coin all died.

In the headlines this week in October fifty-five years ago? BP struck oil in the North Sea, a Canadian government minister was kidnapped and murdered by Quebec separatists, the last sail-powered Thames barge and the last canal narrowboats to carry commercial cargo were decommissioned, Fiji gained its independence from the UK, the Cambodian civil war was raging, Anwar Sadat came to power in Egypt, and the new Austin Maxi and Ford Cortina were launched. In our cinemas: The Vampire Lovers; Catch-22; Tora! Tora! Tora! On telly: The Pink Panther Show; Play for Today...

...and Vision On, the kids' show aimed at deaf children, hosted by Pat Keysell and Tony Hart [whose centenary it is today].

Meanwhile, in our charts this week in October 1970? "Heavy metal" music had arrived with a vengeance, with both Deep Purple and Black Sabbath in the Top 5, jostling for places with Desmond Dekker and Bobby Bloom; the rest of the Top 10 included the Carpenters, Miss Ross, Tremeloes, Chairmen of the Board and the Poppy Family.

Dominating the lot however - in her 4th of six weeks in the top slot - was the most successful artist signed to Holland-Dozier-Holland's Invictus label [that they set up when they dramatically left Motown a year earlier] - and one who is happily still with us, at the venerable age of 83:

Freda Payne - Band Of Gold

A classic!

Fifty-five years?! Fuck.

Incessant AI bullshit

Anyone with a job is likely to have witnessed managers gushing about AI then quietly ditching the idea. See where your employer is in the cycle of AI hype.

1. Insane enthusiasm
Every aspect of our lives will be transformed by AI and you’re going to be on the cutting edge, your boss assures you. This is based on seeing some moderately realistic pictures of kittens having a birthday party.

2. The first bold steps
You attend meetings about how AI will ‘supercharge’ your business. Enthusiasm is high, and you feel a bit Silicon Valley. You start taking an interest in AI generally and read articles by credulous journalists who don’t appear to realise Elon Musk is a pathological liar. There are undertones of being in a cult, but people forget cults give you a lovely sense of belonging. You love AI.

3. No one can think of anything for AI to actually do
It turns out AI doesn’t have any obvious uses for your company. Apparently a kitchen worktop supplier in Reading doesn’t need a real-time global translation service like Microsoft. Your boss responds by finding unnecessary projects for AI to do in a classic case of ‘technology looking for an application’. At least your clients will be getting video Christmas cards this year with Avatar-standard graphics.

4. Doubts creep in
Heretical thoughts begin. Are companies just pumping their share price with AI? Did anyone ever decide what AI was actually going to be for? Are tech bros full of shit? You note that Zuckerberg thinks we’re going to wear AI glasses bombarding us with trivia that wankers will just use to try to chat up women, eg. ‘Did you know we’re 365.55 million kilometres from Mars, Emma? Makes you think, eh?’

5. AI plans get downscaled
Eventually your company decides to use AI to process invoices a bit faster, so you won’t be conversing with Deep Thought every day or getting a cool robot buddy like K-2SO. It’s good that AI will be helping the company, but it’s a kick in the nuts when you thought Joi from Blade Runner 2049 would be waiting for you lovingly at your desk every morning.

6. You grow to hate AI
Your new AI tools have teething troubles, requiring endless tweaks and forcing you to redo things. Combined with incessant AI bullshit in the media you start to hate the whole thing. You long to work in a low-tech office of the 1950s where the only technology you’re expected to engage with is a pencil sharpener and it’s fine to have lurid yellow teeth from smoking.

7. AI is quietly dropped
Suddenly AI is never spoken of, like a deformed child in the basement, and your company gets on with doing things the way you’ve always done them, on Windows Vista. That’s not to say AI hasn’t profoundly affected your business; you’re still spending countless man hours asking ChatGPT ‘Write me funny jokes about cocks’ and making hilarious images of your colleague Gavin as a xenomorph.

The Daily Mash

Of course.

Blonde bombshells of a different kind

How I always feel on a Monday. Cough, cough!

Sometimes fates collide on a Tacky Music Monday, and something perfect just pops into view to cheer us up... like yesterday's "birthday girl", Miss Susan Anton!

The living embodiment of a "Barbie Doll" (that hair doesn't move!), she was one of those typical pretty blondes who was "famous for being famous" - the inheritor of the mantle of the likes of Zsa Zsa Gabor, or Mamie Van Doren, perhaps.

Her career was hardly luminous nor memorable - she appeared in some commercials, and in some barrel-scraping films (Goldengirl, anyone? How about Cannonball Run II? She was nominated "Worst Supporting Actress" in the Golden Raspberry Awards for that one.) She was even in a relationship with Dudley Moore in the early 1980s (he seemed to get through a succession of blondes).

And she had her own television show! It lasted exactly four weeks. Here, perhaps to illustrate why, she gives it her heart and soul on a Make Someone Happy medley...

"Presenting Susan Anton" Opening Episode - Make Someone Happy medley

Have a good week, dear reader.

---

PS

Speaking of blondes...

Today marks the centenary of the birth of Margaret Hilda Thatcher, Baroness Thatcher, LG, OM, PC, FRS, née Roberts (13th October 1925 – 8th April 2013), the longest-serving Prime Minister of the United Kingdom in the 20th century

To revisit my post on the occasion of her death [with a quote somewhat echoed by Rusty Egan in yesterday's post]:

As Andrew Marr said in his marvellous History of Modern Britain TV series:

[Hers was]...the most extraordinary and nation-changing Prime Ministership in British history.

Margaret Thatcher was a woman who made mistakes, who could be harsh, who bullied people - close to her, and people she'd never met. But she took a country that had lost faith in itself, and she gave it a long and repeated slapping, and left it stronger, richer and more self-confident than when she came in.

In many ways she defines the country we still live in today. We're none of us, regardless of our ages, Harold Wilson's children. Or Edward Heath's children. Or John Major's. Or Tony Blair's. We are all, like it or not, rebel or not, the children of Margaret Thatcher.

Indeed.

The art in pretending it's art; the question is where do you pay?

From an article by Mark Holgate in Vogue:

It’s hard to imagine, but Blitz (the bar), with its Dig for Victory World War II posters, kitschy red gingham tablecloths, and wooden bar sticky from spilt beer - faithfully recreated for the exhibition - wasn’t the most obvious place for a fashion revolution to happen, yet this sartorial Winter Palace, reimagined as Blitz (the club night) changed everything. If punk was a gob in the face, then New Romanticism was putting on a tiara and forgetting you were penniless. Its favoured look - theatrical, historical, bending your gender to whatever you wanted it to be, with the absolute emphasis on individualism - still resonates today.

It certainly does!

And so it was that Hils, John-John and I - "80s Kids", all - trolled off yesterday (Saturday) for swanky High Street Kensington to the Design Museum to see its new flagship exhibition, Blitz: the club that shaped the 80s.

Oh, the memories flooded in...

Among the hundreds of fascinating, and carefully-curated, items on show - including many from personal and private collections, never usually on display - were some fabulous outfits belonging to the original club-goers, such as leather garments owned by Steve Strange, a blue tartan suit designed and worn by Chris Sullivan, an outfit designed by David Holah (the co-founder of Bodymap) for Lesley Chilkes, and ensembles created and worn by Fiona Dealey (a major contributor to the exhibition):

There were cases full of flyers, scrapbooks, photos and memorabilia of that formative era - not least Gary Kemp's handwritten lyrics for the club's "house band" Spandau Ballet's To Cut A Long Story Short [see here for that!], as well as individual focus on some of the influential style magazines - including first editions - that emerged out of this uniquely stylish era, such as The Face, i:D, New Sounds New Styles and the rest.

Back to the fashions... A selection of the fantabulosa hats created for Blitz regulars by a fellow patron, milliner Stephen Jones were prominently displayed alongside photos of their inimitable wearers:

Darla Jane Gilroy's outfit from when she joined Steve Strange and fellow regulars Judi Frankland and Elise Brazier in David Bowie's Ashes to Ashes video was among my faves on show - and we had gasps at seeing the covers of some of the most familiar LP and 7" singles that made the early '80s so special on display on one bookshelf! [How many do you recognise/did you own, dear reader? I still have a number in my collection to this day...]

[click any photo to embiggen]

The recreation of the club itself - with some cleverly-done animation from original photos that made it appear as if the familiar punters were actually dancing to the music played by a similarly-AI-generated Rusty Egan in the DJ booth - was brilliantly executed, and some of our most-treasured classics of the day were playing, here and in the audio-visual area of the exhibition.

Here are just a few of the tracks that were playing yesterday, as they were back on the dancefloor at the Blitz:

David Bowie - Ashes to Ashes

Gina X - No GDM

Spandau Ballet - The Freeze

Ultravox - Vienna

Visage - Fade to Grey

Also featured was a rather faboo excerpt of a film that brings together many of the key players from the Blitz club - including Boy George, Marilyn, Gary Kemp, Midge Ure, Andy Polaris, Robert Elms, Princess Julia, Stephen Jones, Darla-Jane Gilroy and Michele Clapton - to talk about their own recollections, which I found fascinating:

Blitzed: The 80’s Blitz Kids Story trailer

[NB you can view the whole thing here]

And the last word, of course, goes to Rusty Egan:

“I don’t think Blitz invented the 80s.That was Margaret Thatcher. She was the one who created Del Boy with his Filofax. What I did was to put together a soundtrack, where everything fell into place.”

Blitz: the club that shaped the 80s is on at the Design Museum until 29th March 2026. Don't miss it!

Watch the promotional trailer:

Legendary Blitz Kids unveil new exhibition on London’s famous Blitz club

More Blitz Kids/New Romantics here, here, here and here and here - and our visit to a similar exhibition from the early 80s club scene, Leigh Bowery's Taboo here.

Of totty, traitors, rights, photography, bats, videos and curry

Lesley Manville and Aidan Turner are to star in a new production of Les Liaisons Dangereuses at the National Theatre. You're welcome, Ms Scarlet.

It's another snippets post, dear reader:

• Celeb cornucopia news: The hit TV show Traitors has launched a successful "Celebrity" version, and for a change there actually are a load of really famous (as opposed to "TikTok influencer" or "former reality TV contestant") names in it, including sex god Tom Daley, popstrel Paloma Faith, (not-yet-a-Dame) Celia Imrie, Sir Stephen Fry, TV and radio presenter Jonathan Ross, classical crossover singer Charlotte Church, camp comic Alan Carr, sport and current affairs commentator Clare Balding, TV historian David Olusoga, daytime TV presenter Kate Garraway and actress Tameka Empson (plus a few others I'd never heard of). I'll still never, ever watch it, of course.
• Victory for free speech news: A man who was fined for burning a copy of the Quran outside the Turkish consulate in London has won his appeal against his conviction. "We live in a liberal democracy. One of the precious rights that affords us is to express our own views and read, hear and consider ideas without the state intervening to stop us doing so. The price we pay for that is having to allow others to exercise the same rights, even if that upsets, offends or shocks us", said Mr Justice Bennathan. Hear, hear!

[click to embiggen]

• Paragon of the pictorial arts news: An exhibition dedicated solely to that grand old queen of photographic portraiture, Cecil Beaton’s Fashionable World is currently on show at the National Portrait Gallery until 11th January 2026. Another one to add to our list of "must-see" outings, methinks.
• Batman eats Robin! news: By examinining its shit, scientists have discovered that the European greater noctule bat hunts and eats migrating songbirds while in flight. Tweet that!
• Money for nothin' news: 38 years after it launched in the UK, the sad death of MTV has been announced - as all its remaining five UK music channels will go off the air at the end of 2025. Video killed the radio star. Now streaming has killed music television. Sigh.
• And finally: We're at the tail end of National Curry Week! I feel a celebration coming on...

Mohammed Rafi - Jaan Pehchaan Ho from Gumnaam

A Lamb Bhuna, pilau rice and some naan bread, please...

I can't help myself

Happy 90th birthday, Judith Chalmers - a nice orange person, for a change!

Woo-hoo! The weekend's almost here - and Hils, John-John and I are off tomorrow to Kensington for the exhibition Blitz: the club that shaped the 80s, so I need to dig out my pointy-toed boots and sparkles...

Meanwhile , here's a jolly (and appropriately-titled) choon to help start the party - Thank Disco It's Friday!

Dynasty - I Don't Want to Be a Freak (But I Can't Help Myself)

Have a great weekend, dear reader!

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