Thursday, 12 September 2019

Weary dread


Nobody in a large office can summon the will to open and read an email titled ‘Christmas Do 2019!!’, they have confirmed.
The group email has been sent to 412 employees, but from the boardroom to the post room every recipient is staring at its boldface unread title with weary dread.

Acquisitions manager Joseph Turner said: “So soon, the death-knell of the year?

“I know they have to ask early so we can book somewhere and to give us a choice and all that’s good in theory, but I’m just not emotionally ready to deal with the end-of-the-year thing. I’m not even prepared to say the word.

“Strictly’s on, tubs of 'Heroes' in the shops, the shadow of the darkest season has fallen across us. But if I don’t read this email perhaps it won’t be real.”


Colleague Joanna Kramer said: “Basically once we open that it’s all over. Tinsel round the monitors, pathetic turkey dinner in the canteen, names out of hats for Secret Santa. So it’s staying closed.”

Sender Mary Fisher said: “No responses? Everyone must be fine with the Chinese restaurant with Elvis impersonators then. Good.”
The Daily Mash

Of course.

4 comments:

  1. Ug. I've had one of these in my work in-box since early August and keep getting pestered by the sender to let her know if I'm going, and what I want to eat from the menu, as she needs to know by the end of September.
    I kept giving non-answers, and now I'm on holiday until 1st October, so I don't have to deal with it!

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  2. Our Xmas parties were fun. I will leave it there, I think.
    Sx

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    Replies
    1. I sense there's more to this story than a few small sweet sherries in Yates's Wine Bar... Jx

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