Handy for Heathrow

Frogmore Cottage has been listed on holiday rental service AirBNB, it has emerged.

The five-bedroom cottage on the Windsor estate is listed as ‘steeped in Royal history’, ‘handy for Heathrow’ and ‘ideal for family holidays or weekend get-togethers’ by the hosts.

A spokesman said: “The hosts have remained anonymous, but live in the Santa Barbara area of California and have confirmed they are free to do whatever they want with the property since they paid for it.

“They were particularly keen for the property to be available to tourists of non-white origin so they could ‘see how the old bastards like that’.

“It’s already fully booked into next year and they’re hoping to recoup the cash they’ve spent on renovations within a year, after which they’re considering turning it into a benefit hostel.”

19-year-old Oliver O’Connor of Basildon said: “We’ve got it for next weekend. There’s about 60 of us coming loaded up with booze, weed and nitrous oxide whippets.

“Place is gonna get wrecked. Didn’t want the feds to be able to trace us, so I booked under the name ‘Wills & Kate’.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

[The "real" story]