Scientists have put forward the controversial theory that lockdowns only work if the public actually bothers to fucking observe them.The UK Centre of Disease Prevention found a strong statistical correlation between increases in the R rate and behaving as if the second England-wide lockdown is not for you but for other people.
Professor Denys Finch Hatton said: “Strangely, this infectious disease passed from human to human thrives when measures taken to stop its transmission are completely ignored.
“A careful study of everything we’ve been saying loudly and unavoidably for seven months would reveal that popping round to friends and relatives, wandering maskless around garden centres and visiting five National Trusts per weekend will actually spread the virus.
“So I would advise everyone in England who’s carrying on with life exactly as they did before that they appear to have missed the point. Right, done, I’m off to a rave.”
Member of the public Nikki Hollis said: “I’m being extra careful this lockdown by only visiting my mum, cousins, Tesco, my mate Shelley’s shared house and Spain next week.
“Hugs are fine so long as you’ve got an unopened bottle of hand sanitiser at home, right?”
Of course.
Here in American, it seems we trust couch potatoes more than we trust epidemiologists. Over 100K new cases in a day. Huzzah!
ReplyDeleteThere are a hell of a lot of complete ignoramuses out there, unfortunately... Jx
DeleteI don't mind a lockdown. My partner who is a complete introvert seems to have flourished by the social distance mandate.
ReplyDeleteEach to their own, I guess. I miss such joys as going to the theatre, browsing through charity shops, and spontaneous after-work drinks... Jx
DeleteIf the cases level off in the UK it'll be down to the grotty weather rather than lockdown, I mean, who wants to go out in that? *glares at lead grey sky through rain blurred window*
ReplyDeleteSx
It's black as your hat and blowing up a storm here, too. I put the lamps on at 2.30pm... Jx
DeleteYes, I forgot to mention the leaves spinning through the air and the trees being bent over! My lamps will be on shortly.
DeleteSx
Every leaf in the whole neighourhood has landed in our garden already. We bagged up four loads on the weekend, and I reckon we'll manage to do the same next weekend (storms permitting) as well. I sometimes wish we could hibernate and wake up in Spring. Jx
DeleteI live next door to a jungle so the maid is out there 2 or 3 times a day with the blower, what she doesn't know is I'm going out there rattling the branches, she needs the exercise. I quite enjoy wearing a mask in public places, pulling nasty faces at people in supermarkets, puffing out my cheeks at the fat lasses looking at the cream cakes and licking my lips at men in a suggestive manner. I know, very mature of me.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good thing about masks - it doesn't matter if you haven't shaved or have a bit of food stuck in your teeth. No-one can see... Jx
DeleteI'm enjoying this second lockdown so far - A lot fewer (i.e. none) sisters somehow forcing me to look after their kids or take them to school!
ReplyDeleteDon't they realise that Robert Helpmann played you in the film?! Jx
DeleteWe're in the pits here, but hopefully, the idiots will stay home and when they DO go out will wear a damn mask! I wish y'all well, sugarpie! xo
ReplyDeleteThere will always be idiots around. It's just our job to avoid them. I have spent my life doing it, sweetie! Jx
Deleteso you have the same arseholes as we do, eh? may they all get COVID and DIE! the sooner the better!
ReplyDeleteAs long as they only spread it amongst their own fellow idiots, I'm happy to see a culling of that particular gene pool. The worry is that they care so little for any other fucker, some innocent will cop it thanks to their ignorance... Jx
DeleteTo true to be funny.
ReplyDeleteMore's the pity. Jx
Delete