A walking Terry O'Neill photograph, a Yorkshire harridan, dirty deeds in Berlin and a house full of sinister secrets

Just two short weeks since we were enthralled by Mr Russell T Davies for the Polari twelfth anniversary, John-John and I took our seats in the Fifth Floor Function Room at the Royal Festival Hall (at one of the "special tables" for a change) for the last outing of the season for "London's peerless gay literary salon" - a Very Polari Xmas! More treats in store for good little boys'n'girls (and anything in-between) and, as always, our genial host Paul Burston (resplendent in silver shoes, Bowie t-shirt and "bibberty-bobberty hat") was there to welcome them...



With a perfect show-opener, Carolyn Robertson, esteemed author of several children's books about gay parents and adoption [and none other than Will Young read one of hers in a LGBT+ milestone for the CBeebies Bedtime Stories show], treated us to one of her short stories aimed at adults - the tale of a young lesbian couple's seemingly doomed attempt at a "dirty weekend" over Xmas in York. Having had a screaming row with the evidently homophobic middle-aged harridan at the city's tourist accommodation bureau, and facing the prospect of trying to "do an all-nighter" without a hotel room to go to, the couple was fortuitously "adopted" by a gay waiter who let them crash in his room at his auntie's house. But guess who turned out to be the aunt...

It was hilarious, and really broke the ice - with resounding applause from the audience in that packed-out room.



Next up was a familiar face at Polari Ben Fergusson, reading from An Honest Man; the third in his trilogy of Berlin tales [he read from the first, The Spring of Kasper Meier, way back in November 2014]. A typically sinister tale of intrigues, mistrust and secret surveillance in the paranoid world of Berlin in 1989, just months before the wall came down, it followed the budding relationship between young closeted Fritz and a strange individual who seemed to be stalking one of his neighbours. Mr Fergusson's evocation of a very strange and claustrophobic era, and the obviously looming trouble afoot for our naive "hero", held us glued to our seats - and it is no surprise that this novel has featured on multiple "Best Books of 2019" lists...



Like a walking evocation of THAT photo of David Bowie in his Diamond Dogs phase, Professor Will Brooker took to the stage. Here's a man so dedicated to his work he actually spent a year trying to live as Bowie. Now Will has consigned to published form his intellectual analysis of the great man in Why Bowie Matters, his new book, from which he read some passages.

How does one address the apparent contradictions and convolutions of Bowie's sexuality and gender-bending? Many have criticised the man for "playing with" homosexuality/bisexuality merely to sell records; as a way of enhancing one of his multi-faceted personas, only to ditch it all when the next career move, tour or record deal beckoned. Yet, as our Professor argues, are we equally guilty of taking things David said or did out of the context of their time and applying a critique based on our more modern perspectives? Merely because definitions of "sexuality", "gender" and "fluidity" have newer connotations, can any of this be used to define a man who challenged established norms with extreme make-up, dresses and flame-red hair almost half-a-century ago?

We thought this was a superb and intriguing and well-reasoned piece, and look forward to exploring more...

After a break for a pee, a fag and another trip to the bar, it was time to settle down for our headliner, the worldwide best-selling author Miss Lisa Jewell. First off, reading from her eighteenth novel The Family Upstairs - a tangled web of a tale about the intertwined lives of young gay Henry, whose mother has inherited a big spooky house in Chelsea with a mysterious and grisly history, his family, their friends also living there, and another soon-to-be-dominant-in-the-household family (with a pretty son who Henry falls madly in love with) and some very dark secrets indeed. Oh, and lurking out there somewhere, and linked to it all is a woman busking in the South of France. All very enigmatic. We were hooked!



As has become the customary format of Polari, to its benefit in my opinion, Miss Jewell and Mr Burston sat for a more in-depth conversation and audience Q&A that covered topics such as writing styles and genres [Miss Jewell has, like so many female authors, to her annoyance been tarred with the "chick-lit" label on more than one occasion], how characters develop [Henry didn't necessarily start out as a gay boy, she said, he "spoke to her"], whose opinions should be trusted when revisions are suggested to an author's work, and where the inspiration comes from to continue producing successful works of fiction for such a long time. It was a delight to be part of, and the time just flew by.

We wait with bated breath for the 2020 timetable to arrive, but with the customary curtain call, that was indeed it for 2019 - Happy New Year, Polari!