Saturday, 1 August 2020

Don't be stingy I'm a growing girl

Another peek up my back passage [Click to embiggen]

Up and down like a whore's drawers, this weather! One minute it's sunny, the next the sky turns completely black. Hey ho, I've managed to do some pottering regardless, which is something...

...after four whole months in lockdown, this is about as much exercise as I have managed to get, to be honest.

Some people, however, don't care about what people think about their ever-expanding waistline - I'm with Motormouth Maybelle on this one!

Once upon a time
Girl I was just like you
Never let my extra large
Largesse shine through

Hair was brown and nappy
Never had no fun
I hid under a bushel
Which is easier said than done

Then one day my grandma
Who was big and stout
She said you gotta love yourself
From inside out

And just as soon as I learned
How to strut my funky stuff
I found out that the world at large
Can't get enough so

Bring on that pecan pie
Pour some sugar on it
Sugar, don't be shy

Scoop me up a mess
Of that chocolate swirl
Don't be stingy
I'm a growing girl

I offer
big love
With no apology
How can I deny the world
The most of me

I am not afraid
To throw my weight around
Pound by pound by pound
Because I'm

Big, blond and beautiful
There is nothin' 'bout me
That's unsuitable

No one wants a meal
That only offers the least
When girl we're servin' up
The whole damn feast

Slice off a piece
Of that hog head cheese
Then take a look inside
My book of recipes

Now, don't you sniff around
For something fluffy and light
I need a man who brings
A man size appetite

Now, get me some bacon sarnies...


  1. The garden looks fabulous dear!!! Your back passage always sparkles.

    And I adore a man who brings a man size appetite....

    1. I do tend to it rather lovingly.

      No one wants a meal
      That only offers the least
      When girl we're servin' up
      The whole damn feast

      Indeed. Jx

  2. I thought it was The Jewel Garden, Longmeadow. Where's Nelly?

    1. You flatter us, Mitzi! One question that's always crossed my mind whenever I watch Monty being followed round by his hounds is "Where do they piss and shit?" Hopefully not on his Tithonia rotundifolias. Jx

    2. Everywhere! Dogs have no shame.

    3. P.S I once read the dog urine gets rid of ground elder. Yes, I did try to train my previous dog to piss in specific areas but it didn't really work.

    4. Dog urine kills lawn grass, I've heard. Jx

  3. Your back passage is positively blooming!

  4. Who HASN'T seen your back passage?

    1. Blind men? They just have to sniff the scent and imagine... Jx


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