Eating olives instead of pork scratchings

Yesterday's high temperatures caused a man from West Yorkshire to morph into a hot-blooded Continental.

Tom Logan from Leeds was ordering a cheeky pint on his lunch break when he had an uncontrollable urge to ask for an Aperol spritz instead.

Logan explained: ‘Before I knew it I was eating olives instead of my usual pork scratchings and undoing my shirt buttons low enough to reveal my chest hair.

“I couldn’t stop shouting effusive greetings at people I knew, when a surly ‘Eh up’ normally suffices. I never even went back to the office; I just took the rest of the afternoon off. No particular reason, just ‘because’. And it felt like that was okay.

“My colleagues eventually found me sunning myself on a bench in Park Square, or Parco Piazza as I insisted on calling it, wearing polished leather shoes with no socks and flailing my arms around as I spoke.

“They suggested we kick a ball around to try and snap me out of it, but when I began flinging myself to the ground dramatically pretending to be injured, they understood I really was Italian.

“I haven’t quite reached the stage where I’m shouting, ‘Bella! Bellissima!’ at passing women, but I fear I’m not far off, and I doubt the women of Leeds will stand for that crap. Yeah, I’m pretty sure this ends with me getting punched.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.