Old people have requested bored younger people to please fuck off and leave them alone.The Daily Mash
Pensioners have asked family to stop Skyping, neighbours to stop knocking every day offering help and kids to stop making them rainbows to put in their windows.
75-year-old Mary Fisher said: “Everyone suddenly can’t get enough of me. Well I didn’t like them before and I don’t like them now.
“First it was my family, all on the phone saying how terrible they feel that they can’t come and help. I had to bite back my ‘Don’t worry I’m used to it, I’ve seen none of you since Christmas.’
“Then it was the bearded millennial with the pierced face who lives in the flats up the road. He knocked on the door, stood back two metres and politely asked if I wanted any shopping. Bloody nerve.
“I get my exercise walking down the middle of the street because there’s no-one to stop me. I buy my groceries at 7am and if anyone comes close I’m allowed to hit them with my stick. I’m fine.
“Bugger off the lot of you before you give me that virus. The next person who disturbs me I’m calling the police.”
Of course.
oh yes....love it !
ReplyDeleteIt rings very true - my Mother says she's never had so many phone calls; even when she's trying to have a nap! Jx
DeleteI love it!!!! On a side note, my mother reminds me of a more fashionable Maxine.
ReplyDeleteI've said it before - the apple never falls far from the tree. Jx
DeleteMr & Mrs Kline just walked by, and I use the word walked loosely. She hunched over, him using a walker. As they passed, I turned and saw them staring at me. I just looked away. I heard they sent a neighborhood email asking people to put some sort of drawing in their front window every day. I would never. Some years back, Mr Kline approached my then partner, now spouse and asked him if he would fuck him in the ass. Mr Kline closely resembles a uglier version of Charles Laughton in The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Hump included. Though I have no beef with Mrs Kline, I've always looked away when either came into my line of vision.
ReplyDeleteSo yes, I'm feeling abundantly neighborly!
"...if anyone comes close I’m allowed to hit them with my stick" is an eminently usable phrase in your case. Jx
DeleteThank you for the smiles, Jon!!
ReplyDeleteSXXX
You are more than welcome, Miss Scarlet (in the conservatory with the lead piping)! Jx
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