Thursday, 30 April 2020

I'll Drink To Them!

It was the 90th birthday of Mr Stephen Sondheim in March, and all sorts of lavish tributes were planned across the globe to celebrate his genius. Unfortunately, none of them are now likely to be staged.

However, the ever-resourceful talents of some great showbiz stars will not be stifled easily. And so, thanks to the wonders of Zoom/Skype/MS Teams/Facetime or whatever system they used, there's this utterly marvellous number out there for our delectation - courtesy of the "Ladies in Bathrobes", Miss Streep, Miss Baranski and Miss McDonald...

Here's to the ladies who lunch -
Everybody laugh.
Lounging in their caftans
And planning a brunch
On their own behalf.
Off to the gym,
Then to a fitting,
Claiming they're fat.
And looking grim,
'Cause they've been sitting
Choosing a hat.
Does anyone still wear a hat?
I'll drink to that.

And here's to the girls who play smart -
Aren't they a gas?
Rushing to their classes
In optical art,
Wishing it would pass.
Another long exhausting day,
Another thousand dollars,
A matinee, a Pinter play,
Perhaps a piece of Mahler's.
I'll drink to that.
And one for Mahler!

And here's to the girls who play wife -
Aren't they too much?
Keeping house but clutching
A copy of LIFE,
Just to keep in touch.
The ones who follow the rules,
And meet themselves at the schools,
Too busy to know that they're fools.
Aren't they a gem?
I'll drink to them!
Let's all drink to them!

And here's to the girls who just watch -
Aren't they the best?
When they get depressed,
It's a bottle of Scotch,
Plus a little jest.
Another chance to disapprove,
Another brilliant zinger,
Another reason not to move,
Another vodka stinger.
I'll drink to that.

So here's to the girls on the go -
Everybody tries.
Look into their eyes,
And you'll see what they know:
Everybody dies.
A toast to that invincible bunch,
The dinosaurs surviving the crunch.
Let's hear it for the ladies who lunch -
Everybody rise!
Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise!

I've risen to give them a standing ovation!

[The full two-and-a-half hour gala Take Me to the World: A Sondheim 90th Birthday Celebration is currently available on YouTube - I haven't watched it yet, but have no fear we will do!]


  1. That was bloody brilliant! Although Streep's glasses almost appear to look like coke bottles. On Friday, betwixt you and I, he was to be my in three words, with two clips of this very song...but I may have to change the one to these three ladies.

    I'll drink to that.

    1. They're certainly "an invincible bunch"... It is an utterly fabulous rendition of this song - and destined to rival even the divine Stritchy's, perhaps? Jx

  2. The show was almost entirely incredible. And the number with these three was priceless. I was singing that song AGAIN for the entire day after I watched the show. And NOW I'll be singing it all over again.

    1. My work here is done :-)

      We will get around to watching the whole shebang fairly soon, I'm sure. If even a small bit of it is as good as this, however, I'd be amazed. Jx

  3. Its amazing what you come across when you're meandering round the internet :-). I was actually looking for a video of the stage version of Top Hat. Anyone any ideas?

    1. Amazing, indeed! As for the West End Top Hat, are you sure it was ever filmed (for DVD or otherwise)? I doubt it; we'd have heard about it before now - it was eight years ago after all. Jx


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