Wednesday, 10 June 2020

Inarguably uncool


Do you no longer have to impress people with your taste in music because you’re middle-aged and inarguably uncool? Here are some banging genres to enjoy without shame:

Soft rock
No teenager could ever let their peers, especially of the opposite sex, know they listened to Foreigner. But now you’ve lost your virginity and in fact have kids, so crank up Kenny Loggins’ Danger Zone and pretend your people carrier is an F-14 Tomcat.

Theme tunes
Theme tunes are music for people who like being reminded of watching telly. But now you don’t care, fill your boots with The Equalizer, Black Beauty, Blake’s 7, Miami Vice and, if you have no shame at all, Howard’s Way, The A-Team and Are You Being Served?

The Worst of Rave
Isn’t it sort of cool to listen to dance music and prove you were once a pill-popping rebel? Not if it’s Urban Hype’s A Trip to Trumpton or similar Deep Heat favourites. All together now: ‘There’s a guy in the place with a bittersweet face and he goes by the name of Ebenezer Goode…’

Abba
The Swedish supergroup merit their own genre due to their prolific output of well-crafted cheesy pop-disco. Now you are old and without embarrassment, weep as you sing along to The Winner Takes It All.

80s crap
Glory of Love by Peter Cetera, You’re The Voice by John Farnham and to really push the tastelessness envelope, Butlins stalwart Shakin’ Stevens. Turn up the computer speakers and brazenly tell your kids you are ‘rocking out to Shaky’. You earn the money so they can fuck off.
The Daily Mash

Of course.

Sounds familiar, anyone..?

10 comments:

  1. I misread John Farnham as Julia Fordham, remember her?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never saw them in the same room as each other...

      Jx

      PS Ms Fordham used to be a backing singer for Mari Wilson. I don't think Mr Farnham ever was.

      Delete
  2. Foreigner was soft rock?

    I freely admit to liking disco and show tunes, which I couldn't do in high school, but that has less to do with middle-age or more with accepting myself as gay, which I couldn't do in high school.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Foreigner were soft, full stop.

      There's nothing naff about disco or showtunes, in my opinion - much to be proud of there!

      Jx

      Delete
  3. I embrace it all, and I am not embarrassed!
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We have no shame, my dear. None at all. Jx

      Delete
  4. John Farnham still turns up to sing a song (like the national anthem) at football. All I recall of him was back in the 60s..."Sadie, the cleaning lady."
    Cool or not, I stuck it out with Frank, all the way. (Sinatra)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Another Aussie superstar who apparently, like ONJ, was born in the UK. I only ever heard You’re The Voice, however - he was a "one-hit wonder" over here... Jx

      Delete
  5. I have and never have had any shame So I am fine with most of that
    and even go as far as to include Nana Mouskouri.

    ReplyDelete

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