Everything counts in large amounts

And so we're back, from outer space another lovely sunny and relaxing week on the Costa del Sol [a special "sneaked-in" extra, to make up for the hideousness of last year when we had no holiday at all, and also to coincide with our 24th anniversary]...

[clockwise from top left: a glorious Jacaranda tree, under which we had drinks on arrival straight off the train from the airport at Benalmadena's commercial town Arroyo de la Miel; the view of our aparthotel Benal Beach gardens, the Mediterranean and Castillo de Bil-Bil from our terrace; the "Castle" in the sunshine.]

...and needless to say, we thoroughly enjoyed it!

With unseasonally high temperatures for May (it reached 32C on Monday), just about every day was a "perfect beach day" - although, of course we don't actually go on the sand nor in the sea, we merely look at it from the comfort of our fave bar (Dutch-owned, like just about everywhere we go when we're there) Palm 5.

At least there there are staff (all lovely, and genuinely pleased to see us - we have been going there since the bar opened seventeen years ago, after all) to serve us drinks!

With hours of "people-watching" [there was certainly a glut of shirtless totty to keep us occupied], drinking (and eating) all day, and then (after a brief siesta) heading off to the gay bars of La Nogilera every night, it was what we call a full-on yet totally life-enhancing holiday...

But what did we miss while we were away?

After waiting for the bloody thing to bloom again after a couple of years' sulking, it was a shame we never got to see the full glory of our Scilla peruviana in flower:

[l-r: before and after our holiday - NB click any photo to embiggen]

As for the news, not much has changed: Putin's still a monstrous cunt, and Ukraine still suffers for it; Boris and his staff at Number 10 were roundly criticised for their lockdown behaviour in the official report; the rising cost of living and Chancellor Rishi Sunak's proposed emergency tax on profiteering energy companies kept the opinion-writers busy; and the airports [across Europe, as we found out from travellers from several countries while we were away] are still in chaos due to staff shortages [so we were very pleased that both our outward and inbound journeys were as smooth as the proverbial whistle].

Other news included yet another mass shooting in the US and the inevitable battle between the dangerous fanatics who make up the gun lobby (and, predictably, its (opportunist) cheerleader that mad old dribbling idiot Trump) and Biden's calls for greater gun control [Note: this was an eighteen-year-old boy who was perfectly free to go and buy two semi-automatic rifles and 375 rounds of ammunition over consecutive days, and no-one thought there was anything wrong with that?!]; paranoia that China might "do a Putin" and invade Taiwan, ramped up again by a speech by the US President; and Sri Lanka's economic crash and the inevitable riots that followed.

Across the UK, the bunting is up and there's the inevitable build-up in the UK media in anticipation of HM the Queen's Platinum Jubilee celebrations this week...

...including the opening of London's latest Tube service the Elizabeth Line [formerly known as Crossrail], which should - once all the tunnels are finally joined up - reduce the journey between Heathrow Airport and Canary Wharf to 40 minutes, Paddington to Abbey Wood (near Woolwich in SE London) to less than half-an-hour, and Stratford to Bond Street to fifteen minutes!

And finally, the Cambodian government appealed for people to stop picking its endangered "penis plant" [left] for photo-opportunities!

We lost the opportunity to celebrate the centenary of the birth of the magnificent Sir Christopher Lee, and that of "trashy TV" mogul Quinn Martin, the 70th of Shakespear's Sister icon Marcella Detroit, Siouxsie Sioux's 65th, and what would have been the 60th birthdays of the lovely Gene Anthony Ray ("Leroy" in Fame) and the Wonderful Life singer Black (aka Colin Vearncombe), both sadly mourned...

...and we also missed the birthdays of my ultimate sex god Tom Daley, Our Princess Kylie Minogue, Dame Joan Collins, Stanley Baxter, Sir Ian "Serena" McKellen, Cilla Black and the marvellous Miss Peggy Lee.

Also while we were away came the very sad news of the deaths of Porridge actress Patricia Brake, Goodfellas star Ray Liotta and, more pertinently, that of Andy Fletcher, founder-member and keyboardist [the tall ginger one] of Depeche Mode, aged only 60(!). By way of a tribute to the man, this classic:

Depeche Mode - Everything Counts

But, did we bring anything "new" back with us?

Not really - again, the Dutch-owned bars we gravitate towards are not really "up" with the local Spanish divas (and in general the local pop stations tend to be dominated by reggaeton music from South America or the Caribbean anyhow) - but this one [from Eurovision, of course] was everywhere on the Torremolinos gay scene:

Is it good to be back? With intolerably grim and chilly London weather and the inevitable post-holiday blues?

NO!!!