Some day I'm gonna make her mine

Heavens. What a weekend! Two trips to the theatre in succession, and with hardly time to blink it's Monday again (and all that entails...).

The first of the theatrical extravaganzas "our gang" - me, The Madam, Baby Steve, Houseboy Alex, Hils and Crog - gathered for on Saturday night was the most unexpected subject for a West End premiere - the five-decade relationship between Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother and her loyal and trusted servant and confidant Billy Tallon. The Michael Grandage production plays free-and-easy with the real-life story, but it's a masterful concoction nonetheless.

With top-notch actors Dame Penelope Wilton and the hunky Luke Evans in the lead roles, the chemistry and quick-fire repartee between them was entirely believable, and simply wonderful!

"As Billy, Luke Evans is a rogue with a ramrod back and Feargal Sharkey’s hair, a stickler for propriety when it suits him, a mischievous rule-breaker when it doesn’t." - Nick Curtis, The Evening Standard

The play opens with a welcome taste of things to come, as two adorable corgis scamper across the magnificent set - recreating the Queen Mum's favourite the Garden Room at Clarence House - followed by the imperious "Billy" at the height of his powers, choreographing the setting of the numerous floral arrangements to create an ambience fit for a Queen. And her guests...

This is where Billy's mischief really shows itself. He and Her Maj having a long-established protocol of boozy gatherings - "no bores" - when two boring teetotallers turn up to rock that particular boat, he creates a "cordial" that is not all it seems, and farce abounds.

There are other staff whose eyes are on him, however - not least HM's prissy and uptight Private Secretary Kerr (Ian Drysdale), forever trying to tighten the purse-strings and get rid of Billy and his extravagance, who starts manipulating the "new boy" Gwydion (Iwan Davies) to spy on him.

Throughout all this The Queen Mother, with feigned disinterest, oversees everything!

"...it’s (Penelope) Wilton who owns the stage. She brings a dazed, distracted quality to the Queen Mother that acts as a smokescreen for papercut cruelty delivered with a benign smile. She and Evans establish a playful rapport. But this isn’t a straightforwardly heartwarming story - Billy is as much a plaything as anything. The Queen Mother’s blessing comes with conditions." - Tom Wicker, Time Out

Aside from all the campery and the repartee being played out in the "inner circle", there are two lovely touching moments when the set darkens and we travel back in time to when young Billy (Ilan Galkoff) [he was fifteen years old when he entered Royal service] and the Queen-in-mourning first build their enduring rapport - initially, in the moments after the funeral of her husband King George VI when she is not only bereft of her beloved, but also her home and title too; and in the second, just after the Coronation of HM Queen Elizabeth II, when she lost her eldest daughter to a life of duty and gained the epithet of Queen Mother. In the latter vignette, the touching way an old Queen allows a very young queen to wear her priceless jewels is remarkably well done.

The second half of the show, amongst the ribaldry and farce (Billy brings a shag Ian (Eloka Ivo) back to the palace, transgressing the sanctum of the Garden Room, is witnessed by the "new boy", and in the mayhem a huge painted dildo/"artwork" belonging to Ian gets lost amongst the boxed bibelots and curiosities from various collections that are used as "icebreakers" at Her Maj's regular gatherings - but who gets the box?), there's an attempt at a darker sub-text to all the frippery - in other words the otherwise completely ignored world outside, with its civil unrest, riots and the rise of Maggie Thatcher.

"Billy’s proud boast is “I have stopped time for her”, and inside the champagne continues to flow liberally, despite pressure on the Queen Mother to rein in her spending." - Fiona Mountford, iNews

Unfortunately, we found this change of tone to be a little jarring and unnecessary, especially the way Ian turned into a less-than-believable "radical cliché", but it didn't completely ruin the flow. The aftermath, with the Private Secretary believing he'd finally got rid of the thorn in his side - Billy up before "the Boss" for dismissal - takes a completely different tack, with "Britain's Favourite Grandmother" playing against all preconceptions and asserting her authority over her errant Steward and Page of the Backstairs in a most unexpected and humiliating manner.

As the concluding narrative - with "young Billy" and "Backstairs Billy" on stage at the same time - reminds us, however, he did indeed retain his position for the next twenty-three years, so who had the last laugh, really?

We utterly adored this show - hilariously funny one minute, full of pathos and sorrow the next, and unashamedly camp throughout.

[click any pic to embiggen]

I highly recommend it!

Backstairs Billy is at the Duke of York's Theatre, St Martin's Lane until 27th January 2024.

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PS

I haven't forgotten it's a Tacky Music Monday, of course - here's something appropriate:

The Beatles - Her Majesty

Have a good week.