It helps to pay the bills

Princess Kate has confirmed that, as a new book claims, she is indeed only a part-time royal and works evenings in Sainsbury’s.

Showing off her toned legs to the president of South Korea and playing wheelchair rugby is merely a side gig for the Princess of Wales, who spends most of her evenings stacking shelves in the supermarket on Penarth Road.

She said: “It’s less glamorous than royal duties but it helps to pay the bills. Plus I get a 10 per cent staff discount.

“Once I’ve finished cutting ribbons and getting my picture taken for the papers, I hop into an Uber and head to what King Charles jokingly calls my ‘real job’, the cheeky sod.

“Sometimes people recognise me or notice my name badge, and I have to pretend to be someone else and laugh it off like ‘could you imagine?’ Then we have a good bitch about Meghan for five minutes or until I need to verify an age-related sale.

“More of us moonlight than you think. William is a rider for Deliveroo, and even Anne does the odd shift in Sports Direct. She likes the big mugs.”

Royalist Susan Traherne said: “Oh my God, Kate looks so good in that maroon and orange Sainsbury’s uniform. Anyone know where I can get one?”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

[The "real" story]