Please continue to hold

Companies have admitted that they never record phone calls for training or quality purposes, instead keeping them indefinitely for no real reason.

While customers are encouraged to believe that huge corporations give a shit about their customer services and strive to constantly improve, they don’t, and are mainly just taking the piss.

Lucy Parry, staff training supervisor at a broadband provider, said: “What kind of training course would play loads of recordings of irate members of the public swearing profusely while trying to cancel their contracts?

“It should be clear it’s bollocks. If we recorded calls for training purposes, we would have lots of highly-trained, efficient and personable staff who could answer routine questions without reading woodenly from a script, putting you on hold for 40 minutes or randomly cutting you off.

“No, we mainly do it so we can secretly sell them on to even larger multinationals who are slowly building a comprehensive database of information about you which they will eventually use to take over your entire life.

“And aside from that we just record them to laugh at people with funny voices.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.