Ambiguo?

Just a few more hours to go, and the laptop can be snapped shut for another sixteen days - we're off to Spain at the crack'o'doom tomorrow morning for a (hopefully sunny) week on the Costa del Sol, followed by another week off just to potter... Yay!

To round off the countdown nicely, here's an old fave. Miguel Bosé (for it is he) is so amazingly popular in Spain he has produced not one, but two albums of his hits, re-recorded in duets with estimable international superstars such as Shakira, Ricky Martin, Fangoria, Ivete Sangalo, Michael Stipe from R.E.M. and even Penelope Cruz. When he started out, he was a heartthrob teen idol - in the same vein of David Cassidy or Leif Garrett - and, like so many pretty poster-boys, has subsequently "admitted to being bisexual". Cough. Cough.

When I first featured this particular number back in 2010, I said: "...one of the campest dance routines in the world! Madam Arcati reckons he reminds him of Anita Harris." Ha! I'll let you be the judge of that, dear reader - Gracias Disco ¡Es viernes!

Miguel Bosé - Super Superman

That could just as easily been one of our "Tacky Music Monday" treats, to be honest...

Have a good weekend, peeps - we certainly will!

God is Dead

“Never apologise, never explain - didn't we always say that? Well, I haven't and I don't.”

And she never did!

The saddest-of-sad news has reached our ears - one of the greatest of our Patron Saints, Miss Marianne Faithfull has departed to claim her rightful place at the top of the podium in the Fabulon Hall of Decadence. Black armbands all round, methinks...

There was never anyone else quite like Marianne - she simply oozed style and class, and indeed was for many years one of the most desired women on the planet!

Her glamorous background, her bohemian lifestyle, her relationships and her battle with drink and drugs and ill-health were all tabloid fodder for decades, yet she bounced back from it all to become a revered singer-songwriter with her own cult following - among whose number were Madam Arcati and I.

Indeed, I was thrilled to have an "Audience With God" [as Eddie Monsoon portrayed her in AbFab] way back in 2013! She was superb. Of course.

A very sad loss.

"Rebellion is the only thing that keeps you alive!"

"Maybe the most that you can expect from a relationship that goes bad is to come out of it with a few good songs."

And here's one...

Marianne Faithfull - The Ballad of Lucy Jordan

The morning sun touched lightly on the eyes of Lucy Jordan
In a white suburban bedroom in a white suburban town
As she lay there 'neath the covers dreaming of a thousand lovers
Till the world turned to orange and the room went spinning round.

At the age of thirty-seven she realised she'd never
Ride through Paris in a sports car with the warm wind in her hair.
So she let the phone keep ringing and she sat there softly singing
Little nursery rhymes she'd memorised in her daddy's easy chair.

Her husband, he's off to work and the kids are off to school,
And there are, oh, so many ways for her to spend the day.
She could clean the house for hours or rearrange the flowers
Or run naked through the shady street screaming all the way.

At the age of thirty-seven she realised she'd never
Ride through Paris in a sports car with the warm wind in her hair
So she let the phone keep ringing as she sat there softly singing
Pretty nursery rhymes she'd memorised in her daddy's easy chair.

The evening sun touched gently on the eyes of Lucy Jordan
On the roof top where she climbed when all the laughter grew too loud
And she bowed and curtsied to the man who reached and offered her his hand,
And he led her down to the long white car that waited past the crowd.

At the age of thirty-seven she knew she'd found forever
As she rode along through Paris with the warm wind in her hair

"Bad behaviour makes men more glamorous. Women get destroyed, thrown out of society and locked up in institutions."

"I haven't got purity, and I don't think I ever did. I have always been, even as a child, a very decadent little person."

This song might well be her epitaph...

Marianne Faithfull - Sliding Through Life On Charm

The family tree was chainsawed Wednesday week
So now I have to mingle with the meek
Hey mister, you have finally met your match
Now everybody wants to kiss my snatch

To go where God knows who has gone before
I am a muse, not a mistress, not a whore
Oh, suburban shits who want some class
All queue up to kiss my ass

And I was only trying to please
I never got any royalties oh no, not me
I'm still sliding through life on charm
Sliding through life on charm

If Marianne was born a man she'd show you all
A way to piss your life against the wall
Go ahead why don't you leave me to these thugs
And creeps who want to fuck a nun on drugs?

Is it such a sin I never ever tried too hard?
I had to know how far was going too far
In proper homes throughout the land, Fathers try to understand
Why Eunice who is seventeen aspires to live her life like me

Oh no, can't ya see, Daddy?
She's just captivated by my charm
Sliding through life on charm

Sliding
Sliding
Never

I wonder why the schools don't teach anything useful nowadays
Like how to fall from grace and slide with elegance from a pedestal
I never asked to be on in the first place

Sliding on charm, sliding on charm
Sliding on charm, sliding on charm
Sliding on charm, sliding on charm
Sliding on charm

RIP, Marianne Faithfull (29th December 1946 - 30th January 2025)

Kung Hei Fat Choi!

Happy Chinese New Year, dear reader!

It's the Year of the Trousersnake Snake (oo-er) in 2025, so, by way of a celebration, here are some suitably-themed numbers, for your delectation:

Stirling Holloway (as "Kaa") - Trust in Me [The Jungle Book, 1967]

Duran Duran - Union Of The Snake

Al Wilson - The Snake

Oh! And then there's this charming little ditty that I remember from when I was in school...

My friend Billy had a ten foot willy.
He showed it to the girl next door.
She thought it was a snake,
And hit it with a rake,
And now it's only six foot four.

Boom-tish!

Don't choke on your Nian gao, dears!

Love and luxury*

The countdown to Spain continues...

...and no such countdown could be complete without featuring possibly our favourite Spanish singer of them all, Patron Saint of "¡Drama, cariño!", Señorita Mónica Naranjo!

Possessor of one of the most powerful voices, anywhere - on this one [surprisingly, one I have not featured here before], she really gives it the full, OTT, works!

Mónica Naranjo - Doble Corazón

I have, of course, featured the great lady and her demi-operatic numbers many times before - not least here, here, here and here. However, there is one song of hers that crops up most regularly, our best-loved number in her repertoire and a "house fave" at parties (for very good reason)! All together, now...

Mónica Naranjo - Amor Y Lujo

¡Fabulosa!

Roll on Saturday...

[*Amor y lujo = "Love and luxury" in Spanish]

Either you got it, or you ain't

Counting down the days...

Sigh. Another thrilling week begins - but at least we know that this is the last one before we jet off to Spain on Saturday! Thank heavens.

Meanwhile...

In addition to Paul Newman's centenary, yesterday would marked the 80th birthdays of two remarkable women, from opposite ends of the cutural spectrum entirely (both of whom departed much too young) - the remarkable classical cellist Jacqueline du Pré, and...

...the potty-mouthed stand-up comedienne and singer from the working mens' club circuit, who [thanks to winning talent show New Faces in 1975, beating both Lenny Henry and Victoria Wood!] became a household name and national treasure, Miss Marti Caine!

As it's Tacky Music Monday, I think something from the latter (replete with her "safety gays"), rather than the former, is more appropriate to provide us with our wake-up call!

Marti Caine - Some Cats Know

Have a good week, dear reader.

Totty of the Day

We have another centenary to celebrate today, dear reader - the man with the most piercingly blue eyes in Hollywood history, the utterly gorgeous Mr Paul Newman!

Facts:

• Early in their respective careers, he was regularly approached by people who thought he was Marlon Brando. Rather than correct them, he would oblige their request for an autograph by signing, “Best Wishes, Marlon Brando.”
• It was after starring in the 1969 racing film Winning that he took to motor racing in real life - he was competing as an amateur for a decade, he won his first professional race in 1982 and, at the age of 70 he was in the winning team in the 1995 Daytona 24-Hours sports car endurance race. He only retired when he was 80, three years before he died.
• His was one of the few non-political names on President Nixon's “enemies list” in 1971, largely for his vocal opposition to the Vietnam War.
• Despite being nominated six times previously for a Best Actor Oscar, he only finally won (for The Color of Money) in 1987 - and didn't turn up to the ceremony! He said: “I’ve been there six times and lost. Maybe if I stay away, I’ll win.”
• In his words: “I'm a supporter of gay rights. And not a closet supporter either. From the time I was a kid, I have never been able to understand attacks upon the gay community. There are so many qualities that make up a human being... by the time I get through with all the things that I really admire about people, what they do with their private parts is probably so low on the list that it is irrelevant.”
• Newman’s Own, his eponymously-branded range of salad dressings and sauces, is entirely not-for-profit and has raised more than $600 million for charitable causes.
• When he found out that he and Gene Hackman were being paid more than their co-star Susan Sarandon on Twilight (1998), he offered to give up a portion of his salary to her to make things equitable.

What a man!

Paul Leonard Newman (26th January 1925 – 26th September 2008)

Tragedies, luxuries, statues, parks, galleries

Och Aye! It's Burns Night again - the celebration of Scotland’s national poet, traditionally marked by eating haggis, neeps and tatties washed down with a dram of whisky.

Scotland has produced more than its fair share of internationally-renowned singers, musicians and bands, of course - including Sir Rod Stewart [admittedly, he was actually born in Highgate in London], Gerry Rafferty, Jimmy Somerville, Annie Lennox, Wet Wet Wet, Altered Images, Barbara Dickson, The Proclaimers, Annie Ross, Sheena Easton, Orange Juice, Midge Ure, the Associates, Sharleen Spiteri and Texas, Big Country, Franz Ferdinand, The Waterboys, Strawberry Switchblade, Gallagher and Lyle, Eddi Reader and Fairground Attraction, Kelly Marie, Maggie Bell, Donovan, Lewis Capaldi, Shirley Manson of Garbage, the Bay City Rollers and Lulu...

...but it is to this lot (a fave of mine until they followed U2's lead and went from electronic indie band to stadium rockers) to whom I turn to provide the entertainment, Scottish-style, this year. I used to dance to all of these, way back in the early 80s:

Simple Minds - I Travel

Simple Minds - Love Song

Simple Minds - Changeling

Take care not to hurt yourself doing the Gay Gordons, dear reader!