MAD, bad and dangerous to know

And so it came to pass on Sunday that our gang - me, Madam Arcati, Hils, Crog, John-John, Our Sally, Joe and Russ - gathered for what is definitely becoming one of the big events of our Social Calendar, the annual fundraiser for HIV/AIDS charity the Theatre MAD Trust, West End Eurovision!

True to form, it was a spectacular evening's entertainment, as the casts of seven of the top shows in London all took time out from their hectic schedule to perform a chosen song from the annals of the Eurovision Song Contest, judged by a celebrity panel (dancers and choreographers Wayne Sleep and Bonnie Langford, former Blue Peter host Tim Vincent and - erm - former Love Island reality show contestant Amber Davies), and with votes from the audience.



Introduced by our witty and skilful MC Richard Gauntlett, opening the show in a suitably OTT camp fashion the cast of Only Fools and Horses chose one of the most outrageous of all Eurovision numbers, the glittering 2007 Ukraine entry Dancing Lasha Tumbai, which was great.



Not to be outdone, Everybody’s Talking About Jamie chose last year's winner for Israel, Toy, resplendent in day-glo outfits and make-up - and with a surprise appearance at the end from the show's incredibly sexy current star, the athletic Layton Williams!



Providing plenty of rivalry to Mr Williams in the totty stakes, Aladdin's cast took Finland’s 2018 entry Monsters quite literally, with a sort-of-jungle-cum-zombie fantasy number; we didn't care what they did as long as the boys flashed the flesh, really...



Closing the first half was the funniest number of the whole show, as Mamma Mia combined their rendition of Iceland's faboo 2010 entry Je Ne Sais Quoi with some rollicking slapstick choreography "mishaps"; just like the real contest, actually.



From the ridiculous to the sublime, Follies brought a bit of class, feathers, fouf and faff to the proceedings with their flawless "showgirl" version of the 1977 French entry L’oiseau et L’Enfant. Quite stunning; it was our fave of the night, until, of course Phantom of the Opera hit the stage...



Appropriately enough, the cast had chosen one of the most operatic entries of recent years - the 2015 Italian entry Grande Amore - and their brilliant vocals combined with a "reveal-to-beat-all-reveals" made for quite a spectacle, as out from the skirts adorning the three tenors who opened the number clambered the entire cast and chorus, the girls from which then did a further reveal as they shed their black evening wear in favour of sequinned rainbow-flag frocks! It deservedly got a standing ovation - and indeed, Phantom won the contest (for a second time)...



Despite returning to Ukrainian Eurovision numbers, Wicked could not exactly compete, even with their version of that country's 2004 entry Wild Dances, to which they gave their all (and revealed almost as much twink-flesh as Aladdin had earlier!)!

After a performance by Pugsley Michael Rice of the UK's dire entry for 2019, Bigger Than Us [the boy has potentially a good set of pipes; it's just a shit pop-chart-generic song], and a rather underwhelming special appearance from the legendary winner of the 1998 Eurovision Song Contest Dana International [who mimed badly, and demonstrated her still-awful grasp of the English language by almost ruining the announcement of the night's winner], we had a special appearance on stage from none other than the host of the "real" Eurovision, Mr Graham Norton to present the prize.



And here, for your delectation, is that winning song [filmed on someone's phone, unfortunately, so the sound is a bit muddy]:

Phantom of the Opera cast - Grande Amore (West End Eurovision winners 2019)

Deserved winners, methinks!

Can't wait for the next one...

West End Eurovision