Saturday 5 December 2020

Horny with a 13 inch tongue, back again

It's a special day, dear reader!

From this very blog back in 2013:

Allegedly experiencing a bit of a revival in popularity "as a reaction against a holiday that has become increasingly anodyne, child-centric and commercialised, and [in] an attempt to re-engage with a darker, pagan tradition", according to The Guardian, every Yuletide Krampus - the ancient goat-demon from Germany; the "anti-Santa" - appears armed with a rusty chain to beat naughty children and a sack to cart them off to the underworld.

There is also an annual Krampuslauf - or Krampus run - in which drunken men dressed as devils parade through the streets frightening everyone.

And from 2015:

...across Germanic and middle European lands it is Krampusnacht - the night the demon spirit Krampus comes to punish all naughty boys! [And girls, apparently.]

I am preparing my horn-headed outfit as we speak, replete with chains, lumps of coal and birch twigs.

'Tis the loveliest time of the year, indeed. And here's a special song about it, courtesy of a "performance artist" called Actually; actually...
He will hit you with his sticks
and lick you with his tongue...
13 inches long.


Slurp.
Happy Krampusnacht, dear reader!

Try not to wear out your birch twings, or indeed, your tongue.

12 comments:

  1. I hear Krampus is starting to collect children already at the biggest playpen...the White House with the biggest child in the world and his spawn.....

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    1. "Armed with a rusty chain", with any luck. Jx

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  2. I admire whoever who thought to incorporate abusive goat demons into the festering season.

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    1. So much more entertaining than a fat bloke drinking Coca-Cola and a load of manky reindeer. Jx

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  3. Ooh, I shall have to invite Krampus over for Christmas dinner - that will ensure my nieces behave.

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    1. And with that tongue you won't need to pass him the sprouts. Jx

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  4. Such fun and so much better than boring old Santa

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  5. I wish Radio 2 would add this to their playlist - they have driven me nuts all week with all the flipping Christmas tunes.
    Sx

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    Replies
    1. It's only going to get worse, Miss Scarlet - time to dig out some old Cure, Joy Division and Siouxsie and the Banshees albums, methinks. I'm not in the mood for all that false jollity and bloody sleigh bells. Jx

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  6. How much sillier all that clap-trap is HERE, at nearly 40 Celsius! And I hate Bing bloody Crosby!

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    Replies
    1. I dream of 40 degree temperatures. Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum. Jx

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