Sunday 18 December 2022

Sentiment will not endear it; what's important is the price

The snow is turning to slush, as the rain has arrived. It's grey and grim, and all that's playing on the radio is "festive" music. Bah Humbug!

Here's a very welcome return for Mr Tom Lehrer, and his seasonal message:


Christmas time is here, by golly
Disapproval would be folly
Deck the halls with hunks of holly
Fill the cup and don't say when

Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens
Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens
Even though the prospect sickens
Brother, here we go again

On Christmas Day you can't get sore
Your fellow man you must adore
There's time to rob him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty-four

Relations, sparing no expense, 'll
Send some useless old utensil
Or a matching pen and pencil
("Just the thing I need, how nice!")

It doesn't matter how sincere it is
Nor how heartfelt the spirit
Sentiment will not endear it
What's important is the price

Hark, the Herald Tribune sings
Advertising wondrous things
God rest ye merry merchants
May ye make the Yuletide pay
Angels we have heard on high
Tell us to go out and – buy!

So let the raucous sleigh bells jingle
Hail our dear old friend Kriss Kringle
Driving his reindeer across the sky
Don't stand underneath when they fly by!


Speaking of Xmas shopping, here's a lucky dip of gifts for you dear reader - just stick your hand in the bran tub, and you, too could have one of these...


[click any image to embiggen - if you dare]

8 comments:

  1. I love all this! That mug (excuse me, beaker)! And “you can shave the BABY”???

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    Replies
    1. I fancy getting one of those mugs for work. NOT the shave-baby, however. Jx

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  2. I want the mug!! I don't want The Waltons' Christmas Album.
    We have gale force winds and rain today - heading your way, I imagine.
    Sx

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    Replies
    1. It's been blowing a gale today - but thankfully the rain is a bit on-off. And it is fifteen degrees warmer than yesterday! Jx

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  3. Tom Lehrer! Reminds me that I must get a blog written, with my annual Lehrer tribute. The weener cleaner intrigues me, probably because(many years ago) when soap on a rope was the "in" thing there was a story about a fellow who somehow got himself lassoed and thoroughly tangled in one.??!!WTF?Other than that ...bah-humbug. Especially here, where days are mid thirties and jeans are cut-off to the waistband and snowballs and log fires are plain bloody stupid!

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    Replies
    1. I certainly hadn't heard of the soap-on-a-rope-genitalia-incident. Ouch!

      Cut-offs and sunshine. Sigh. Jx

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  4. Lovely to hear Tom Lehrer bringing a bit of sanity to the festering season. Genius.

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