Sentiment will not endear it; what's important is the price

The snow is turning to slush, as the rain has arrived. It's grey and grim, and all that's playing on the radio is "festive" music. Bah Humbug!

Here's a very welcome return for Mr Tom Lehrer, and his seasonal message:

Tom Lehrer - A Christmas Carol

Christmas time is here, by golly
Disapproval would be folly
Deck the halls with hunks of holly
Fill the cup and don't say when

Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens
Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens
Even though the prospect sickens
Brother, here we go again

On Christmas Day you can't get sore
Your fellow man you must adore
There's time to rob him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty-four

Relations, sparing no expense, 'll
Send some useless old utensil
Or a matching pen and pencil
("Just the thing I need, how nice!")

It doesn't matter how sincere it is
Nor how heartfelt the spirit
Sentiment will not endear it
What's important is the price

Hark, the Herald Tribune sings
Advertising wondrous things
God rest ye merry merchants
May ye make the Yuletide pay
Angels we have heard on high
Tell us to go out and – buy!

So let the raucous sleigh bells jingle
Hail our dear old friend Kriss Kringle
Driving his reindeer across the sky
Don't stand underneath when they fly by!

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Speaking of Xmas shopping, here's a lucky dip of gifts for you dear reader - just stick your hand in the bran tub, and you, too could have one of these...

[click any image to embiggen - if you dare]